Private gender scan? Yes or no?

[ALittleBitWorried1983]

I'm 16 weeks today and thinking of getting an early gender scan in the next week simply because I'm impatient and also the place I'd like to does a really nice gender package. I'm also moving in two weeks so would like to be able to make a start on the nursery.

However I know there's not a 100% guarantee even though the place says they're 99.8% accurate. So I'm a bit worried I'd go and they'd say it's one sex and then it end up being the other!

Anyone got any advice on whether it's worth it or if I should just wait? Or have any experience positive negative?

The gender package includes: gender confirmation, digial photos, physical photos, a 4d peek, a teddy bear with the heartbeat in it and a gender reveal box - think it sounds really nice!

At the end of the day we're all parents and we have the right to do what we feel is right for our child.

I’m confused. What’s the benefit of gender conforming outfits unless you think baby girls and boys should look/be treated differently? Why would you want either sex to be limited?

Have you seen the skinny jeans, hot pants and crop tops for toddler girls? What are we trying to tell children by what they wear? Why do toddler girls in particular need to be sexualised in this way? No such thing happening in the boy camp?

You don’t have to think about it that much to see how deeply damaging it is, surely?

And I can’t imagine a gendered nursery theme? Animals? Cars? Bears? Hot air balloons? Airplanes? All absolutely unisex. As are all colours. There really is no need to buy onto this shit. It really doesn’t benefit anyone.

OP simply wanted some advice as to whether the 'gender scan' was worth the money

Simply, no it's not. Gender can't be seen on a scan as it's an entirely fabricated social construct. The sex can be seen but what bearing does that have on the nursery other than forcing these harmful stereotypes on to the child before it is even born.

Genitals have no relevance in decorating- and a nursery won't be used for months after baby is born anyway so it's a waste of money. Unless you're planning a cringeworthy social media 'reveal'.

A relative of mine paid for me to have a Gender scan and 4d pictures when pregnant with DD. I did enjoy it and still have the picture frame they gave us. If you can afford it and want to then why not.

Hi @ALittleBitWorried1983. We never had a specific gender scan, but at all the NHS scans the sonogrpher was confident with sexing the baby and correctly guessed (even though they weren't gender scans)

I am anxious person so I wanted tests done before NHS could offer them so we had the NIPT test for abnormalities at 9 weeks pregnant
They asked whether we wanted to know th sex which we did and were really excited to find out SO early!
It's also very accurate

Of course the test cost £400 along with private scan but gave peace of mind for health of baby and added bonus of finding out the baby's sex too!

Now 30 weeks pregnant with baby boy :)

Have you made decision what you'd like?

Loving the idea of putting heartbeat in a bear how sweet is that?!

I did and was condirmed on 20nweek and again on 4d. He wasnt camera shy lol.
I'm so glad I did.
The one I had too was if they couldn't tell on the first visit you got a re visit free

@codenameduchess and @codenameduchess I suggest you leave this thread as you are jumping to massive conclusions about OPs intentions. Just because she wants to know the sex, doesn't mean she will put baby girl in crop tops and low slung jeans. Absolutely not the subject of this thread. Clearly it has triggered you for some reason and I'm sorry you're so angry but maybe leave and start a thread on gender stereotyping.

I agree the scan should be called a sex scan rather than gender but it's the scanning companies choosing the wrong words for their products.

If OP would like to choose a theme for her nursery more suitable for a girl or a boy it is her business. She just wants to know if she has a scan now, will it reliably tell her the sex. I for one being at a similar stage of pregnancy can't wait to know so can understand the frustration. I really think it helps with bonding, forming a relationship with the child and planning for the baby.

meant @codenameduchess and @Boobiliboobiliboo*

We all have to be very careful about gender issues at the moment and not assume. How do these clinics get away with calling it a gender scan? In fact primary school children are being told even sex can change. Never mind that this is crap.

@Boobiliboobiliboo start a new thread and stop mocking people.

@StealthPolarBear I completely agree they shouldn't call it a gender scan.

@ALittleBitWorried1983 what sorts of themes are you thinking for your nursery? We're going with a space theme. I love space and think the stars and planets are beautiful to look at. We hope to create a lovely calming vibe in there. We're also a bit geeky and love Star Wars so will definitely have some nods to those films. I'm not sure yet how knowing the sex will influence our choices of decor but it's nice to plan with it in mind. I definitely will be buying a few little dresses if it's a girl.

The distinction between gender and sex is important.

However, my wonderful sister surprised me with a private scan to find out the sex of my baby at 16 weeks. She asked the scanner how often she has got the sex wrong. Never. We were happy to believe her. Maybe ask that question?

Yes go for it was a lovely experience. I had one and took my parents & my husband parents to see their grandchild moving on screen. A wonderful thing for them to see as they never got anything like that in there day. Was lovely to find out the gender with them. Then a few weeks later had a gender reveal party with close friends and my best friend who was coming back from Italy for a few days. At my 20 week scan which was more in depth and medical confirmed it was still a boy.
Each to their own but I loved it! Especially as I'm so impatient aswell.

@Huggybear16 it's definitely odd they are still called gender scans as very old fashioned way to look at it. I guess we probably shouldn't read too much into it as at the end of the day it's a means to find out the sex.

What a lovely surprise from your sister. Great it was accurate for you. Did you feel it helped you bond with your baby? I experienced two pregnancy losses and I'm feeling like it might help to make this baby feel more real to know as I'm not feeling movements yet.

@Leannej1986 it sounds like a private scan was really meaningful to you, friends and family. Sounds lovely to celebrate your baby in this way for you all.

@Catconfusion Agreed. It's bizarre because the staff are still healthcare professionals, aren't they? Unless the "gender scans" are so called by the big business owners and the staff have no say in the matter?

In answer to your question, yes, I am glad I went. I found out I was having a boy and instantly knew what I was going to name him. I would have been equally happy to have a girl, but knowing he was a boy enabled me to talk to him by name and made me feel like I knew him better.

I also had 2 losses before him and seeing him on that screen at 16 weeks made me feel better as the wait between the 12 and 20 week scans felt like a lifetime.

If you can afford it, I'd say go for it.

@Huggybear16 yes it's totally weird.

I'm sorry to hear you had losses too. It's a horrible experience to go through. It sounds lovely to get that reassurance. We have just over two weeks to wait for the 20 week one and it's so hard. We have a name too and I'd love to start using it. It's purely money holding us back. I know it's only £55 but we're spending a bit more than anticipated on a pram due to my back problem so figure it's money off that. I also got bad news with my first pregnancy at the scanning place that does the private scan and there's nowhere else. As you say definitely worth it if the money is there.

@Dyrne We had a private "gender scan" at 16 weeks and the sonographer did point out to us then that heartbeat was good, she could see kidneys and bladder working properly etc etc however I don't know if that is standard, and I've always wondered whether she would've mentioned if those things hadn't appeared normal or if she'd have brushed past knowing we'd have the anomaly scan 4 weeks later anyway, which should pick up on it.

@Catconfusion Have you scoured Facebook and Groupon for Christmas deals? When we were looking to book there were lots on both although all too far away for us to use. Fortunately our local private clinic was (I feel) very reasonably priced anyway.

Hey @Wubbawubba great you got so much reassurance. We only have one clinic doing them near us and the £55 is already with a bit of a discount we got from the hospital at our 20 week scan. I might have a look on Facebook and groupon though just in case. Thanks for the suggestion.

@Catconfusion

I also received some upsetting news at the private scan (anomaly, but could not pin point due to his small size).

They called the maternity hospital and arranged an appointment with a consultant for the very next day. I was monitored weekly and induced early. He is a happy, healthy 3 year old now.

If you can't afford it right now, wait until your 20 week scan and ask if they can tell you the sex. The policy at my hospital was "Don't ask the sex, we won't tell you. It's an anomaly scan." However, I know that hospitals vary and some are happy to tell you.

At 20+ weeks you may even be able to tell yourself by looking at the scan. There was no mistaking I was having a boy after 20 weeks - my sister could tell he was a boy at 16 weeks as she whispered "boy" to me before the sonographer was even finished the scan.

Good luck with your pregnancy. I know how anxious you must be given your history.

It's great your private sonographer referred you like that. It must have been scary. I guess it's good that you went and got seen a bit earlier.

We had a final scan at 15 weeks before being discharged with the early pregnancy unit as we've been seen throughout the first trimester due to our losses. She showed us underneath but said she couldn't reliably give the sex. There was nothing obvious pointing to either. I guess it was a bit early. She did say our hospital will have a look at the sex at the 20 week scan if we want. If it's not obvious we'll book a private scan I think. Although I'm a little torn now you've mentioned a problem was found and it enabled you to get monitored straight away.

Up to you but you can’t see gender on a scan

Hi @ALittleBitWorried1983 I had a 16 week scan and it was great. We were able to bring our parents & grandparents along to find out as a family.

It was accurate for me as you either see a penis or you don't! I was told to jump up and down to get her into a more favourable position and there she was. It was hilarious!

If you want to know, I'd do it. I did! I don't think it's much more accurate at 29 weeks and most of the time it's pretty obvious by 16 weeks.