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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnant and my husband doesn’t believe me...

92 replies

amazon2017 · 29/09/2019 03:32

Married for 16 years, we have 3 children and i’m 16 weeks Pregnant( complete accident).. My husband told me today that he hates me and doesn’t want baby. He accusing me in lying to him. He thinks it was my “plan “ and i “ manipulated him into it”, which is complete rubbish. I always was very honest with him... His mother is also against me ( his her only child). Yesterday I sent him a message , explaining him how i feel and begging him to allow me to keep the baby... Today I found out he forward my message to a female colleague. Who told him what to answer, saying again I am” manipulating him”... then he answered her something “ may be I can go with N2 “?... i am completely lost... I have no family support around... what should I do to make him to believe me?..,

OP posts:

Moondancer73 · 01/10/2019 07:56

What do you mean that your husband 'heard pain' OP?

Original poster

amazon2017 · 01/10/2019 08:57

He said he had chest pain...as he is so stressed because of me...

OP posts:

ameliathomas84 · 01/10/2019 09:05

OP I can't tell if your foreign mad that's why the tx isn't very clear or of you've very young? Can't put my finger on it but if this is a true post either leave this controlling idiot! Or just do as he says and fetch your children up on this terrible controlling awful environment you are, because it does sound like your going to stay and do as your told!

rainydays5 · 01/10/2019 09:07

why are you "begging" with him? It should be an adult conversation?
what does he think happens when you have sex? Clearly he needs educated!
Why is he not respecting you with regards to a work colleague? It seems like he has a little too comfortable relationship with her.

If he's not able to respect you or discuss your dilemmas in an appropriate manner then do you think his opinion counts. I would be looking at what best suits you and your family because without a doubt it looks like you will be hurt either way. This man isn't worth if that's how he treats you!

IncrediblySadToo · 01/10/2019 09:17

Is his life insurance up to date?!

Sorry , shouldn’t be flippant, but he sounds like a complete bastard.

He’s, at the very least, having an emotional affair and going by what he said I’d assume a sexual affair as well.

Your body, your pregnancy. It’s nit him having the termination so he doesn’t get to decide how you should feel about it.

You’re the one who will have to cope with any regrets about termination and physically go through it!

I’d rather have 4 kids on my own than live with a man who treats me like your H treats you.

I’d be telling him & his mother to both fuck off

Your kids can still see him if they want to.

You’d be surprised, they might not be devastated at all if you get a divorce. Men like him, their attitude spills out over the kids too.

Original poster

amazon2017 · 01/10/2019 09:18

I know it would be most reasonable to go ahead with my appointment, as I never planned to have an other child ( and this is what he wants), on the other hand inside of me I have this hope that my husband will stop me to go, as I don’t think I can do it without him. I feel so torn ...

OP posts:

Morgan12 · 01/10/2019 09:28

Don't do it! It's clear reading this that you don't want a termination! It's you who needs to live with this for the rest of your life.

It's also completely clear that he is selfish unreasonable man who you would eventually be happier without.

blackcat86 · 01/10/2019 09:32

Your DH is an bastard who has trained to only think of him. You're pregnant FFS and all he is whinging about is the impact on him and oh he has chest pain and that's you're fault. Of course not. I bet he didnt go to a&e did he. Maybe I'm just a cynical bitch but he sounds controlling and uncaring. Regardless of what you want for this pregnancy he should be caring for you, the pregnant mother of his children. Ditch the idiot, keep the baby.

Figgygal · 01/10/2019 09:39

How old are your other children ?
How did you get pregnant if he was that adamant he didn't want any more children why didn't he have a vasectomy

Tell him he needs to start acting like a grown-up and engaging with you not with his mother his work colleague or through them

I wouldn't be willing to have an abortion that late but that's something you have to make a decision for yourself how long have you known you were pregnant ?

Look at your finances can you afford to have another child ? Would you consider adoption?

Can you find anyone in real life you can talk to you about this for support ?

Original poster

amazon2017 · 01/10/2019 10:32

My youngest is 7. I was told by doctors that because of my hormones it extremely unlikely to get pregnant. I was using fertility strips.( which of course I now regret, but at that time, i thought it was reliable). I told him that it should be ok. I found about as I was on holidays abroad, asked for app as soon as I came back but it took almost 5 weeks! Until they gave me a termination app..

OP posts:

Unknownanon · 01/10/2019 12:27

Fuck him, his mum and his blatant OW.

Decide what you want OP? Even if you do abort, do you want to stay with a man who disrespects you, doesn't seem to like let alone love you, blames and gaslights you and encourages others to join in?

Whatnext11 · 02/10/2019 21:51

I hope you are ok OP. I think it's clear we're concerned about you being with your OH and his attitude.
Hope you are able to make sone small steps to get done advice.

Original poster

amazon2017 · 02/10/2019 22:49

Whatnext11

Thank you. I’m ok. Will try to go and see my GP again tomorrow. It feels like I have to choose between what I don’t want to do now and what I don’t want to do long term...

OP posts:

Whatnext11 · 03/10/2019 04:56

Seeing the GP sounds a really good move, good call. Hope they are helpful x

Jesskir89 · 03/10/2019 06:36

Op have you decided if you're going to terminate the pregnancy yet?

DuchessMinnie · 03/10/2019 08:28

My mum got pregnant when I was 16. My dad was in a foul mood for weeks, none of us could understand why he was being so vile. Turned out he had been having an affair and was planning to leave and the baby was a massive inconvenience to his plans. It damaged the whole family in the end. My sister suspects my mum did get pregnant with her solely to retrieve her marriage and she has gone NC with them both. My dad was truly vile during those years and my mum stayed with him but was never happy and now has lost her daughter too

TomHardysjockstrap · 05/10/2019 11:16

Hi OP, did you go to your app this week? How are you? Xx

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