Taking DH to first midwife appointment?

[tacosplease]

I have my first appointment with the midwife booked at my local doctors’ surgery the week after next, by which time, all being well I’ll be eight weeks pregnant.

DH is really excited about everything and has asked if he can come with me - but is this normal or should I be attending on my own?

Also, does anyone know what I can expect in general from the first meeting with the midwife?

Thanks!

Pointless taking him nothing interesting happens!

Every pregnant woman should be asked ON HER OWN about domestic violence at some point in her pregnancy. For those saying 'I took dh to every appointment and was never asked' - well that's why. We don't ask if any family member is present as this can trigger further issues. If you haven't been asked and have been seen on your own then sadly it's a missed opportunity.

But surely, if DH is there every appointment then that might be a feature of control/abuse and it's therefore MORE important to ask about it, rather than just saying 'oh well, we couldn't ask because someone was there'.

In that medical setting it's surely pretty easy to manufacture a time to catch women alone - weighed in another room, show them where to do a urine sample etc, as other women have described.

I still haven't been asked in my current pregnancy or my last one, despite attending most appointments by myself.

My OH comes to the appointments on his days off or if he can make it. We work shifts so it just depends, he doesn’t come out it work for them (apart from the scans which he really didn’t want to miss).You don’t really need them there but it’s important they feel involved too. He likes getting to hear the heart beat now we’re further along and it gives him a chance to ask any questions that come up. Often not a lot of point asking me as it’s both of our first.

My DH came to every appointment with me during my recent pregnancy (DTs are 4 weeks old) and I was never asked about DV. He isn’t working and was an equal part of the ivf and pregnancy as it was his children I was carrying. Our midwife was absolutely fine with him being there with me and often asked him questions as well as asking me. In fact, I had arguments on here with people that I was wrong to take him with me to all the appointments and that it was a red flag in itself, yet that only came from people on here and not from the community midwife or the hospital I was under - and it seems the article linked above shows it’s not necessary to ask every pregnant woman about DV if there are no concerns.

He also came to all my scans - and I had fortnightly scans from 20 weeks until 32 weeks then they were weekly for the last 3 weeks until I was admitted at 33+6 and delivered the following day at 34 weeks due to reduced growth of T2 so it was a lot of scans!! Again, no one queries him being there for every appointment and, as there were concerns early on that there may be something wrong with T2 (soon dismissed by consultant following her assessment and scan) it was seen as more important that he was there to hear the results of every scan and also because of the risk of being admitted with little/no notice if doppler studies or growth showed increased concern.

@Rememberallball I think some of those comments came about because a significant number of people who comment on here struggle to appreciate that not everyone has the same life experiences or circumstances as they do - a lot of the judgemental comments would go away if people were able to use a bit more empathy in their posts!