How to say no to second hand baby things?

[FeeFee832]

Exactly that...

My SIL is a lovely woman but she keeps trying to give me all her babies second and third hand me downs that her SILs and friends have given her. Everything from maternity clothes (size 14-16) - I'm an 8, 10 at an absolute push, to breast pumps!

I really don't know how to say no and she is quite pushy with it. I even bought a new Breast Pump, with all the bottles and she told me to take it back and use hers.

I'm sure I'm just overthinking it but I don't want to hurt her feelings... I don't want these things. I've managed to dodge taking anything so far but it's becoming uncomfortable now. I don't want to take things just for the sake of keeping her happy...
I know so many people are going to call me selfish and ungrateful now! But I just don't want these things that don't fit or have been used by her, her friends and back again.

I would be annoyed too about things she wants to lend you.

I was grateful for gifts of second hand items (which I either used or re-gifted) but very annoyed when given things that it then transpired I was only lent. Those lent items I just stored and gave back with thanks a few months later. I wouldn’t have used anything that anyone would have wanted back because I would have worried about forgetting what belonged to who and getting things dirty or ruined.

In retrospect I bought too much new however. I am much more conscious now about how much I buy new, particularly plastic, and I wish I’d got more stuff pre-loved. Stance hasn’t changed on borrowed items though!

Just say I'm not being ungrateful but this is my first baby and I want to enjoy buying things for the baby, Thankyou for the offer though

I’m with you OP. If you don’t need to you shouldn’t have to accept second hand bits. You’re lucky to be fortunate enough not to need them and there’s nothing wrong with that. And it’s nice you’re thinking of her feelings. It’s a difficult one as you’d think having declined so many bits she would get the idea and stop offering. Also agree you shouldn’t accept to please her and have to store stuff you don’t need or want. I had it too but thankfully it wasn’t persistent. Good luck anyway!!

@FeeFee832 There is nothing wrong with wanting to have brand new things for your new baby. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for wanting new things. Honestly if it were me I would just tell her you don't need them and have already bought the things you need.

I think she is just trying to help as she knows how expensive baby things can be. I would take them and store them, you never know you might actually end up using them (e.g. if your breast pump breaks or you are too knackered to wash babygrows).

As for the clothes it might actually make sense to take a look at them and see if there’s anything you might use for the last couple of weeks of pregnancy when you want comfortable loose clothing even if you don’t leave the house in them. Anything you don’t want just politely say they don’t fit you.

Just say to her something like 'thank you so much but I've got absolutely everything I need - I'm just so excited I've not been able to stop shopping!' End of

Don’t feel bad, I’m the same. I don’t want anything second hand.. that’s no disrespect to people who do it’s just personal preference and also determined by your financial situation.
I’ve had things passed to me which are in a basket under the stairs destined for the charity shop but they are only clothes/shoes... nothing as personal as a breast pump that’s just too much esp if her friends have used it too.
I think your gonna have to be abit firmer, don’t be afraid to offend just politely say you want new

It's easy to see how someone like op's SIL will keep pushing their second hand stuff when so many people jumped on to say op should just accept her second hand junk!

It's easy to see how someone like op's SIL will keep pushing their second hand stuff when so many people jumped on to say op should just accept her second hand junk!
Junk? Pregnancy and baby clothing are worn for such a short time so it makes sense to pass them between friends and family as they are still in good condition after being used by one person, or even two or three. It's not just about whether you can afford to buy new, imagine if everyone bought everything new.

I'd probably suggest taking the breast pump back an only buying one if you successfully end up breast feeding! I spent over £100 on one and breast fed for a total of 24 hours so never used it.

I totally get wanting everything new... I was the same and its part of the fun of having a baby and being pregnant...but... I would accept some the things as they may come in useful!