Due May 2020 - could do with a buddy!

[Shak19]

Hi all. So I'm due my first in May of next year. I only found out I was pregnant on Saturday. My husband is great but I have no friends at this stage they either have grown up kids or arent planning to any time soon
I have two sisters. One with grown up kids who she doesn't see and one who's getting married soon so is in her own little bubble.

I would just like someone to talk about all of this as I'm really anxious about the next 9 months.

Thanks for reading :)

@Helensss we are a rare breed, I would personally find it more stress to have an early one, whatever happens happens.

Someone I knew had one and saw she had twins but there was only one at the 12 week scan. She really regretted having the early one as if she hadn't she'd have never known there was one two & not spent the rest of her pregnancy worrying about the other surviving baby. All went textbook with it after the 12 week scan but it really stuck with me

*was once two

@Helensss @ChampooPapi no scan for me either. Booking in appointment next Tuesday at 9 1/2 weeks.
Didn't want to scan too early as I previously had miscarriage at almost seven weeks. I want to get to the 'safe' 12 week mark before I celebrate fully!

@ChampooPapi yeah I kind of agree,
I had three early mc this year all about 5 weeks and I thought I’d definitely have scans this time but like you say the build up will make me anxious and I’m quite calm (ish) at the mo! 12 weeks lll be a mess leading up! 😂

@cornishTJ I had my booking in appt at 7 weeks so super early, I’m 9 weeks Friday and have been told my scan will be between 18.10 and 7.11 😬

@cornishTJ me too, the stats before 12 weeks are not reassuring enough for me to start letting myself get totally attached and emerced yet. Post 12 weeks it's like 98% walk away with a babe in arms I think so no naming yet for champoo 🙏

@ChampooPapi Thanks. Horrible ntermittent stabbing like feeling under my pubic bone today. Suppose it could be ligament, but of course my brain goes straight to something wrong with the embryo. Naughty brain. Some lower back discomfort too, which is why I think I'm worrying a bit.

@Helensss you are definitely doing the right thing, let your body do its thing, scanxiety is a thing! You don't need it in your life at present with your previous losers it's even more of a reason to keep calm, truck on and try and not feed the worry monster. We are getting very close now, my advice is to let yourself freak the few days before but be firm until then.

Chocolate helps a lot 😉

*previous losses

Arhhh! My predictive text is against me. Appologies @Helensss

@Doodlebug321 I read about 'lightening crotch' the other day... it's actually a thing 😂

@Helensss oh I feel your pain with three early miscarriages. One put me through a load of emotion for a long time so I can only imagine your anxiety. That's quite a long wait in between appointments but you've made it way past five weeks now. Very good sign!!

@ChampooPapi yes in a very similar mind frame to you. As much as I feel a little jealous of all the scans on here, it isn't my way I don't think.

Glad I found you both!! X

@Doodlebug321 I honestly get this with every pregnancy at some point, I think it's a good sign of everything moving about a bit and just being aware of the body more because your on alert. It can flick a switch in mind but shut that down straight away, easier said then done I know but you can do it, put it in a box in your mind and mentally lock it.

Unless it's a constant issue, or just feels totally different from anything else you've felt, there are red flags of course in pregnancy that need medical attention. But this stage one has to try and keep the mind a fortress of positivity if possible, letting no negative thoughts in about our growing babes

@cornishTJ I can't speak for the others but I'll be here until we reach the logical conclusion, and I'm always up for the post natal afternoon chats. This is going to go hellava fast, we must continue to keep smelling those metaphorical roses each day

(If we couldn't stomach their metaphorical pungent scent obviously)

I have mixed feelings @ChampooPapi, I had a missed miscarriage in May. I had a scan only due to early bleeding so had a scan at 6wks then at 8wks. They saw a heartbeat, no more bleeding and I carried that pregnancy for a further 4 weeks before finding out at our 12wk scan that the baby had died at 8wks just after my scan!!

I didn’t want to have any reason to have a scan in this pregnancy, DH and I had decided to not have one until 12wks. However I started bleeding again at 6wks. It was impossible to ignore and the thought of a silent miscarriage again terrifies me! Especially when I don’t have as much nausea as I did with DD.

I am by nature a very positive upbeat person that does believe what will be will be. But a mmc has shaken me. As much as I feel positive I’m grateful the epu suggested scanning me again at 10wks. Especially finding out I had a haematoma so that reassures me that there was a reason to the bleeding this time!

@Wishful30 I’m so sorry you are feeling crappy. Must be so hard having that constant worry every time you go to the loo! I know that feeling well.
I did have positives for about 10 days after miscarriage but it wasn’t strong.. Maybe like me you have a subchorionic haematoma 🤷🏻‍♀️ As I had a fair bit of brown bleeding, Fingers crossed that it’s something they can explain. It hasn’t affected the growth of the embryo and have been told its resolving and might still have some brown spotting. Good luck for tomorrow. That’s a great line tho.

@cornishTJ Me too!
They were hard but I am thankful they were really early ones, we were also lucky to keep conceiving quickly again too. I had been in dispair as my cycle took 2 years to settle from the pill, then kept getting pregnant and losing them, but fingers crossed this is the time!

@ChampooPai scanxiety I like that! This group is helping already, hard at work every day With all the emotions and sicky symptoms when no one knows x

@Bumpingalong84 oh absolutely I can understand that, who wouldn't, you've been through your fair share of distress and confusion in the past and have quite rightly been referred.

Heavy bleeding is a definite need for a scan in every case, and any bright red bleeding is concern to be mentioned to your midwife or doctor and they proceed however they do which is usually a scan.

@Helensss oh God work must be brutal, I'd definitely rather be on toddler duty, you are a hero going in day in day out. I'm being very weak and already in bed, writing this horizontal....the best position for all 1st trimester ladies

I know, it’s so nice to be blissfully unaware. With my DD I never dreamed of having a scan. And even now if it wasn’t for symptoms I wouldn’t have chosen to have one even with the recent history we have. I think like you say that can lead to more anxiety and confusion with dates and all that. Being pregnant is emotionally difficult for a million different reason for different people.

Anyhoo, did someone say corned beef sandwich 😂 I don’t think I’ve had corned beef in like 15yrs.

@ChampooPai yeah it is quite tough as I have hardly any energy to do anything so I just look like I’m being really lazy at the moment 😂 all will come to light soon!

I am also in bed, it’s heaven x

@bumpingalong84 we are all different and have a variety of past history and health risks. I agree with you. sadly your story is exactly what happened to my good friend who basically waited in anticipation for the 12 week scan ( she's fairly healthy and had a baby before ) sadly there was no heart beat and they said baby stopped growing weeks ago.. She was devastated and had to have an operation etc) there's a happy end i promise- she now 6months pregnant 🤞🏼☺️

again this is not a reason to freak out and advice ALL WOMEN to have early scans! some of us in this group have medical reasons and our scans are not PRIVATE. i think it's important to be kind when giving opinions and not to appear like one is criticising fellow mums-to-be decisions on the thread. everyone is hormonal and worried for one reason or another.

the last 24 hours have been upbeat with all the lovely scan results and heartbeats. But we r still also in anticipation to hear more good results for the next few days with our fellows who bled or had pain xxxxx i'm spreading positive thoughts and hugs for anyone who likes some 😍👍🏼

@Bumpingalong84 I totally understand why you have had scans! I think missed miscarriage is such a terrifying thing, especially if you’ve had one before and bleeding too.

Cannot WAIT to get in some sort of safe zone Xx

Absolutely @facevalue I hope I didn’t come across wrong, I just meant for me personally I decided not to. Everyone’s story on here is different of course and I’m also loving the positive vibes and support! ❤️

@helensss one hurdle at a time. fingers crossed for 12 week scan x

@Helensss oh no , you are so lovely x i was making a general observation. i didn't chose to have my scan it was booked for me and it's nice when one can share little blessings with others in a supportive group. i said it before and i'm saying it again " not reassurance scan until the 12 week scan". we can still have a miscarriage or worst attend the scan and there's no heartbeat.

@facevalue yeah same happened to me, I decided on medical management that went horribly wrong, ended up in a&e and had to have surgery in the end anyways. It was awful and really traumatised my DH. But I completely agree and even tho I’m anxious I am positive about this pregnancy, even with its own dramas! I am fit and young and have a soon to be 4yr old so hopefully have no reason to worry it’ll happen again.

it was so nice hearing all the positive news yesterday and to be in a forum where everyone can moan and groan and like you say accept we are all hormonal.

It’s nice to talk about things when your pool of people ‘in real life’ don’t know what’s happening.

Roll on good 12 week scans all round, it’ll be exciting when people start sharing that they’ve had theirs. I got my appointment for mine today 12th November!! Feels like forever away!