Miscarrying - keep thinking I’ve done something to cause it

[Ermmmmidunno]

I would have been 9 weeks on Thursday but I started bleeding last night and it’s carried on today.

I’ve been referred to the Early pregnancy unit for a scan tomorrow morning it’s not looking great. My back is hurting.

I keep thinking I’ve done something to cause this . I didn’t lose weight from my last pregnancy so my BMI is too high. I’ve been really stressed. I started taking anti depressants again last week. I drank too much caffeine yesterday.

I don’t know how to stop thinking about it

Miscarriages are not the fault of the mother. Please don't do this to yourself. You are being punished enough without adding blame to the mix.

It's fine I am in the same boat. I have been spotting since Sunday and it has now gotten heavier. This will be my second misscarrige.
It broke me last time and am worried it is happening again. Cam just keeping an eye on it and have an appointment with a midwife tomorrow

You really didn't cause it.

If caffeine or stress could cause a miscarriage, there would be far, far fewer unwanted pregnancies (which are very stressful) and women could drink coffee at home instead of having to go for terminations.

About the only thing that can end a healthy, viable pregnancy is surgery or powerful abortifacient drugs. Unfortunately reproduction is a buggy business and it's likely the embryo was never genetically viable. That's just how it goes unfortunately. Nothing you did or didn't do could have changed the outcome.

I'm sorry for your loss.

BMI related ‘miscarriages’ tend to be late ones. (Usually after 19-20 weeks but before the stillbirth cut off limit). Early miscarriages like yours are just one of those things and is most likely (over 95% so) to be a non-viable embryo. Definitely don’t blame yourself.

Thanks all

@Gillseybear - I’m sorry

I just want today over with. I hate being in limbo and I’m holding onto the tiny bit of hope that it’ll be ok but I’ve always though there wasn’t something right with this pregnancy even from the start

My back hurts as well :(

I am really lucky that I do have a baby DD though so she’s had loads and loads of cuddles this afternoon

Agh how long am I going to bleed for?

I just want this fucking process over with

1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, the vast majority are because the cells were not replication and growing properly. You really haven’t done anything to cause it.