The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #3 🐧🐧The Penguin Huddle 🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

New thread as the last one is nearing the max number of posts.

This is a supportive and safe space for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread though and have suffered a loss and are anxious about your new pregnancy please feel free to join the huddle 🐧

So ladies, I hope you are all here for the long haul until our 🌈 are delivered (and beyond if you fancy sticking around).

Let's pull on our positive pants and nerves of steel.

I'll start the roll call of EDD from the last thread:
@Melpops3638 - EDD 5/12/2019
@Beaglemum93 - 25 - EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81 - 38 - EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - 36 - EDD 3/01/20 but having an elective section so likely to be 27/12/19
@theAntsareMyFriends - 35 - EDD 04/02/2020
@Laney79 - 40 - EDD 6/1/2020 (but elective section so likely to be 30/12/19)
@Bluebelltulip - 29 - EDD 9/1/2020 likely induction 2 weeks earlier
@moonpeace - 37 - EDD 23/01/20
@KnitKitty- 31 - EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21 - 38 - EDD 6/2/2020 (if c-section circa. 31/1/2020)
@Zznorth - 29 - EDD 17/02/20
@InDreamland- 39 - EDD 18/02/20
@Tinatsarina - 29 - EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer - 29 - EDD 29/02/20
@duvetcaterpillar - 34 - EDD 27/03/2020

Also tagging: @rubyroot @sadtoday21 @Catconfusion @boboelephant @Yukka @Russkispy @VenusStarr @Beaglemum93 @Squiff70 @Navy123 @Bellasblankexpression

So sorry if I've missed anyone. I've tried to include as many as I could.

Hey @sadtoday21 I'm 10 weeks 3, don't forget about me. I'm not adding myself to the list yet. I can't bring myself to do it. But I think you'll be fine, I really do. I know its really worrying in the lead up to the scan and you're almost expecting there to be no heartbeat. But this is your rainbow.

Hi all,

Struggling to keep up with the thread.

Lovely to see your update @Yukka , I am about 10 weeks give or take a day. I have scan and harmony booked for Saturday and then a final review at st Mary's RMC next week, before transferring back to my local hospital. Assuming all continues I am seeing the local consultant on 10th September to discuss ongoing management. I am thinking I want 4 weekly scans as minimum monitoring for the blood flow? Welcome your advice on this? I am also thinking that I want to push for a 38 week induction/section. It seems from the reading I've done placenta failure starts to become a real risk then.

Lovely scan pictures on here congrats @Mistymeow @TinyPaws

Hope you are feeling better @janey15

Not yet feeling confident enough to join the role call, but will do once I am through the 12 week etc milestone. Increasingly nervous now about harmony showing something etc.
I also so far have managed to avoid knowing my actual due date, am determined to not add yet another anniversary if this was to go wrong.

Sorry to anyone I have missed as I say am really losing track of the thread.
X

@Mistymeow great news!!! Don't worry about the dates. It's more than likely to be the fact baby is so small at this stage. I do understand your worry as the same thing happened to me with my MC, but I was over a week out.Three days is nothing at this stage. I was a few days behind with my early scan this time and then baby boy caught up. Apparently now he is big and measuring ahead so it just goes to show how things change! You will catch up xxx

Routine will come @Yukka so really don't stress. The thing I've found is that even when you think you've got a good routine, something will happen to change it up, a developmental leap or change in sleep, it's always changing and will keep changing as they grow up. I found it best to follow my DD's lead and still try to go with the flow as much as I can. Nothing is forever be it hard times or good times. Now I could cry when I think of DD being that small. Enjoy your beautiful daughter, time goes so fast xxx

When is your harmony test @fnej01?

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue Saturday afternoon 😬

@Avocuddles Thank you! I've told quite a few friends as I've realised I need support on this journey and it's not good to fight through with nobody knowing. I miss acupuncture - my TCM practitioner doesn't do pregnancy acupuncture so I had my last session right before embryo transfer. I've found a lady locally that does pregnancy massage and reflexology so might give that a go instead.

@coconutlatte44 Thank you, glad you found the NHS support helpful!

@Beaglemum93 @rubyroot @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue Thank you

@Janey15 I self referred online but had to wait about 3 weeks for a telephone assessment. I've told several friends as I'll want their support if I lose this one too.

@InDreamland Thank you! I get what you mean about coffee - I can smell it 20 paces away and find it intensely unpleasant (used to really like the smell)

@sadtoday21 Thank you. Fingers crossed that your scan goes well and you make it to Friday with your sanity at least mostly intact. The waiting for scans is horrible.

@Mistymeow Yes! So happy for you! Was thinking about you and wondering how you were getting on.

@Yukka Thanks! Yes I will have a scan next week with the NHS then another one in 2 weeks with the IVF clinic. Then I think it's the long wait until the NHS 12 week scan (assuming we get that far!). I'm trying to convince my partner to go for harmony/panorama test, but the cost is putting her off.

@fnej01 Hope scan and harmony goes well! Remind me if you have a diagnosis? (sorry I keep losing track too!).

@Avocuddles I never understood the protocol of waiting until 12 weeks, seems its a way of making pregnancy loss shameful.

@Yukka agree with other posters, at six weeks don't expect to have a routine. We followed baby's lead and the routine we have now was shaped by him. At five months we had something resembling a routine.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I had a breastfeeding peer supporter (or whatever you call them) come round the first day after I was out of hospital. Its policy in my area if you're a breastfeeding mother which is great. She basically told me that most breastfeeding mothers do Co sleep and not to listen to the advice and make things easier on myself. I'm really glad she came and said that or I think I probably would have spent the first three months struggling like you did. He wouldn't sleep in moses, partner slept on sofa and we had the double bed to ourselves for first three months.

The thread is busy today! I'll have a proper read and reply later. Just popped on to ask about nausea. Most days it's been ok but I've had 3 days in the last 2 weeks where it's completely floored me. I've felt very sick all day from about 30 minutes after I woke up. Sometimes eating helps but not every time and I'm getting fed up of constantly trying to find things I fancy. I'm really worried about going back to work next week.

Has anyone else had this? On the other days I can function but today has been terrible. How did you cope at work? I'm a teacher and can't exactly snack all day or sit down when I need to 🙁

I hate to moan as I waited so long for this pregnancy and used to feel so jealous when pregnant women complained! I also know many people have it so much worse xx

Argh the nausea is horrible @janey15! I was so lucky with DD and barley had any but this time around it was constant from 7 weeks. Threw up only a handful of times but the constant queasy feeling  I'm lucky in that I could sit down at work (but never at home with DD) so you have my sympathy! I think you will probably find foods or drinks that help as you go (sorry that's not very helpful!) I liked Gin Gins (boiled ginger sweets, you can buy them on amazon) or drinking tons and tons of milk! Went through so much milk! I also ate whatever I fancied, which was bland rubbish - until about 14 weeks my diet was cheese spread on toast or cheese jacket potatoes  Hopefully it will cool down by the time you're back and that will help xxx

That's brilliant @rubyroot, wish I had that! I really struggled with bf at first (had all this crap in my mind from what I'd read/heard and cluster feeding wasn't it!) I had a great bf support person when in hospital and then some truly fab friends who kept me going. But I wish I'd just gone with what felt right more at the start. I'd get so stressed thinking she should be in her cot and looking back now it wasn't worth it and was all my own doing! Will not be like that this time and will be Mrs Attachment from the start!!

@TinyPaws diagnosis of APS/sticky blood and high aggressive uterine NK cells.
So am on pred, heparin, aspirin and progesterone- full set! The long term management plan is very much about the APS as am high risk of growth concerns,
Preeclampsia etc - and a risk overall of having insufficient blood supply to the placenta. I think you are ok pred too? Horrible isn't it? X

Sorry @rubyroot! Of course I can't forget about you, we are practically due date buddies!

And @fnej01 we are also close in dates! I'm not doing the harmony test (I wish!), but I will be doing the NIPT just a day before you. So it will be a nerve-wracking time for me too waiting for those results. Sending you hugs!

Major congrats on your scan @Mistymeow! It's beautiful. I have everything crossed for you that all continues to go well.

Thanks @TinyPaws! The waiting is really terrible. Just curious, but I've also been thinking about pregnancy massage, is it helpful? How is it different from regular massage? Was a bit too worried to do it, but sounds really relaxing and possibly helpful for the anxiety. I can't convince my partner to do the harmony test either, just too expensive for us. But I was told NHS would do it (or something comparable) if the results from NIPT are concerning. Maybe this is also the case where you are?

BTW @rubyroot do you have your 12 week scan booked in yet? I know 13 is your personal milestone, so do you also plan on doing another one at 14 weeks? And thanks very much for your kind words - you brought a smile to my face even despite all the anxiety! I really appreciate it :).

@sadtoday21 it was only 13 weeks because that was when my 12 week scan was. So once I have test results back and scan I'll be a bit happier. And then probably happier at 20 week scan. I'm not sure what I'll do in between 12 and 20, perhaps a 16.

I have booking appt coming up so will be given 12 week scan date then.

Why do you wish you were doing harmony? A nipt test is just a version of harmony and the one you are doing may even be better. Harmony is just a version of a nipt as far as I understand and there are ones which have better redraw rates and slightly more accurate etc. There's not much in it though, to be honest.

Hey look at me... I'm talking like I actually might get to 20 weeks.

@janey15 nausea is horrible isn't it? I had a couple of days like that last week before my scan (and a couple since!) and DH asked the nurses about it because I was just completely flat out and couldn't do anything. They said go to gp for a prescription - mine prescribed cyclizine. I was worried about taking it but did a lot of research and only found positive things. It has honestly made a world of difference - I can function normally. I'm not taking it regularly, just when I need to.

I've also found that eating near constantly helps. When I was pg with DS it was the opposite - if I didn't eat I felt fine. This time I have to eat at least every hour or I feel worse.

Just remember it will pass! Maybe not at 12 weeks, mine was at 17 weeks last time, but you will feel normal again sometime!

@sadtoday21 as @rubyroot mentioned I think harmony is just a brand of NIPT. We are only doing that as it's local, and I can't face going back to fetal medicine in London as that was how we discovered our first mmc and to be honest they didn't handle it well. Good luck with your test it's nice to have a buddy. Fingers crossed we both get low risk results

@janey15 after my little panic no symptoms last week I seem to be on a few days of constant nausea and a bad taste in my mouth. I find eating gives me a temporary reprieve from the nausea, but I'm now worrying about weight gain, especially as I seem to be developing a belly. I am partially blaming the side effects of the steroids so hoping I will lose some bloat once I come off them.

@fnej01 I've had a few mini panics too with symptoms waxing and waning.
But at ten weeks my boobs are hurting a lot less now and I'm happy it's my placenta taking over. That's a shame about fetal medicine I thought they had a good reputation.

@rubyroot @fnej01 same here - I've been panicking as my symptoms have been on and off, seemed to start around 9+6/10 week mark. Not gone entirely, just sometimes less than before. I never really had very strong symptoms to begin with though. I think you are also both right about the testing - harmony is slightly more accurate, I think, and will also tell you the gender though. Results may be faster too.

Good luck with your test results @fnej01, I'm thinking of you! I'm developing a belly too fwiw, this didn't happen to me with my MMC last time (my belly was still quite small then, even at 12+5). Now I'm 11+4 and its huge! I also seem to be hungrier this time around. Do you think there's a reason for it?

@rubyroot you will get to that 20 week scan, I am confident!!

@sadtoday21 I'm having the prenatal safe done. It tests for Edwards, pataus and downs and then the sex chromosome abnormalities. It misses out a chromosome deletion that the harmony does test for.
You can actually test for nearly all chromosomal abnormalities and deletions for 1250. 😳 The consultant said she felt some of the chromosome things they test for are a bit ridiculous tho and to be honest there's so many things the scans pick up now.
Bearing in mind my t21 diagnosis last time, I will probably get an extra anomaly test done two weeks after NHS one with the consultant for peace of mind

@fnej01, yes sorry. Good luck with results

I also seem to be hungrier this time round, do you think there's a reason for it?

Yes you're a greedy bastard, hence the fat belly.

@sadtoday21 sorry, feeling cheeky 😉

Thanks @rubyroot @TinyPaws @fnej01 @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @sadtoday21 I do agree about how inaccurate it can be and a mm can make a big difference. I would be more worried if I was a week out.
@janey15 I’m also suffering with the nausea. I’m ok if I’m sat down but up and about it gets worse. I’m a bit underweight so I’m concerned I’ll lose weight if I continue. Maybe a prescription might help?
@Yukka forgot to say how helpful and reassuring your post was! I’m interested in the hypnobirthing if all goes well with this pregnancy.

Has anyone got any tips for ongoing acne? My forehead is particularly bad. I didn’t even get acne as a teenager. It seems very oily. Tea tree oil?

I am also a greedy bastard, I’ll join!

@rubyroot @sadtoday21 lol I fear my belly is exactly that greedy b'stard syndrome 😂

Fetal med just delivered the news of the MMC really badly and offered no support. We had to crash land into the NHS system to get support. Genuinely our first pregnancy so we just weren't expecting it. I don't think I could ever go back there. Obviously now this being number 5 with no children we are better prepared for bad news than good lol. I think generally there reputation is very good, I think we were just unlucky with the person we saw.

@Mistymeow I've just bought the mama mio face wash arrived today so will give you a review in a few days. I have in the last week had a nice acne outbreak on my chin.

It's all glamour this pregnancy lark 😂