Any older expectant mum's out there?

[45andfine]

I'm 45 and rather unexpectedly having a 5th child. It all seems more scary this time around, familiar, but with other worries.

Hi @45andfine had my NIPT scan and bloods taken today so just need to wait around 10 days for the results. Kind of convinced myself it's all fine though - not being delusional but the scans are all fine, Basel bone present and all bloods in the normal range but HcG a bit high but they didn't take in to account my HcG injection 6 days before so I think without that then the algorithm would have spat out a better result but my age was always going to make it not great.
The sonographer today said the same thing so I kind of think I'm not just being a nutter! We'll find out for sure soon enough.
How's it all going with you?

I am so tired now. No sleep at night, then fall asleep on the sofa and wake up more tired than before I fell asleep.
Was trying to pack my bag earlier, haven’t got far just put the pads and breast pads in. I’ve got nearly everything, just not the energy to collect from around the house.
I’ve got my third growth scan on Wednesday and waiting for them to say, ok I think it’s time you came in and stayed until 37 weeks.
Really hoping I don’t have until the last couple of weeks.

@ginny1234 10 days waiting! But it'll be lovely to actually know. The sonographers are great aren't they? They must be so experienced and see so many different situations. I'm ok. Hit that point where first trimester symptoms have gone and I just feel fat and not pregnant at all!

@45andfine how many weeks are you now? I know what you mean about fat and not pregnant, I've not been doing my usual exercise and mostly living off carbs go the first 3 months so feel like a blob. Nausea seems mostly gone now though so I can eat normal, healthy food and exercise classes start again on Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I felt the baby move a couple of times this week - like fluttering or fish swimming around? So hopefully will feel more preggers and less blob soon 😊

@ginny1234 I think I'm 15+3 and that is exactly what it feels like. Quite low down in tummy. It gets more fluttery and higher up around 18 weeks.

My diet has been same and I stopped running at about 6 weeks. Brave of you to start up again, I've been getting breathless running up the stairs!!!

I can't face running whilst pregnant, but did wonder whether cycling would be ok? Another question for midwife, but... Don't suppose I'll see her for weeks now?! A question for Google!

@45andfine your just a few days ahead of me then, 15 weeks tomorrow.

Yeah I stopped running too, although didn't actually run that regularly but a few times a month. I'm joining a Pilates/kettlebells class again that I did before pregnant, because no specific preggers classes near me, and the instructor said she's qualified to teach pregnancy fitness so I'll lower my weight and follow her adaptations.

Cycling is a good idea I think as low impact. I keep fancying swimming but the whole getting ready then washing my hair afterwards gets on my nerves so can't see me doing it regularly.

Just want to be in a more normal routine really as I'm a bit sick of myself being all about the baby at the moment.

@ginny1234 I'm same with swimming! Love it, but such a faff... And I do just look old and fat now! 🤣🤣 Wouldn't mind getting it all out if it looked more baby shaped!!

Aaaagh - was supposed to get results of our Harmony test this afternoon, but the lab want to re-run them as they didn't get a result from the first try. It'll take another 3-5 days.

I've got my 12 week scan on Wednesday, and wanted results before then (not least cos it's my Dad's birthday same day and wanted to tell him) as I'm doing my head in waiting for them!

Should I ask for the NT / Combined test on Wednesday in the absence of my Harmony results? Or just sit tight and wait?

Do you think hospital would just do the NT part of the test during the ultrasound and let me forgo the bloods?

I just don't know...

@parksandrecreaction get the full set done at your Scan? Mine came back fine within 24hrs. And if they come back higher risk, you'll already have Harmony set in motion again?

@45andFine Had 12 week scan this morning - took ages as the baby was moving around so much! Decided to go ahead with the NT scan and bloods. Just as well, as got a call later from the Harmony test to say it had come back inconclusive AGAIN. Rushed over to clinic to do a re-draw of new bloods and then rushed back to the hospital where they had our results waiting.
NT was 2mm
Down risk : 1:567
Edwards / Patau 1:10561
I'm so massively relieved and slightly fucked off that we paid for the Harmony test and it doesn't look like we necessarily even needed it. The irony of thinking the private test would come back quicker as well....UCH turned bloods around in less than 2 hours!!!

Hi All, can I join you?
I'm 41 and currently 20 weeks with my first baby. Partner is 51 and it's his first too.

Hi ladies 👋

I’m 41 and 10 weeks pregnant with my 5th.
Feeling sick and exhausted constantly (though that was the case with me in all my other pregnancies, when I was much younger, too!).
Older kids have taken it well (had to tell them so that they didn’t think I was desperately ill!) and the few other people we’ve told are in complete shock that we’re going back down the baby road 🤣
I’m totally paranoid about miscarriage - stressed at every twinge, and nervous every time I go to the loo 😬
Am consultant led for a variety of reasons (SEVEN different reasons I think 🙄), so in all honesty I wish someone could just knock me out until the baby is due, then I could just get on with the parenting bit!!

I posted a few weeks ago on this thread and went into labour after a hot thai curry that evening during the first 3 or 4 months i was completely paranoid and checkibg the miscarriage statistics everyday. Everytime i went to the toilet i expected blood. I wasnt really relaxed to enjoy the pregnancy until the last few weeks! There is so much pessimistic information about online. Lots of woman have healthy babies over 40 but sad stories and complications are prevalent. Of course there are greater risks involved but everyday your fetus is getting stronger. I hope it goes well ... im already contemplating if i can manage a second at 43

Congratulations @cockcrowfarm why did you have?

What a lovely reassuring thread. I'm 41 (3rd baby) DP is 57 a it's his first. We're 6 + 2 and like everyone else anxious about the statistics and worry every time the symptoms seem to disappear.

Taking one day at a time and enjoying being pregnant that day is helping me.

A little girl i didnt really find any good sources of information. The (depressing) statistics are based on average 40+ers, and we do have more chance of being less healthy, over weight, unfit etc. Added on to our aged reproductive systems that makes it look worse! Nothing we can do to rejuvenate the old overies but I would like to see statistics for healthy active 40+ without known medical conditions. Im curious if the statistics would be so disheartening.

Congratulations @cockcrowfarm and thanks for taking the time to post an update. As you say, positive stories and normal outcomes are not often talked about but even the scary stats, that get rammed down our throats, prove that there are many more positive outcomes than negative ones.
I think it's only recently that older mums have been perceived this way, as pregnancies right up to the menopause were very common right up until the 60's and 70's. I think we're all just more judgmental these days!
So pleased you and baby are doing well 😊

@parksandrecreation that's brilliant news! Must be such a relief! I also think we get brain washed by the scare mongering media!! Let's all just chill and enjoy our pregnancies!

Well... I will once a) my children cheer up about it and b) I've plucked up courage to tell my parents...🤣🤣

@45andfine - how old are your kids? My 4 were initially shocked and disbelieving but now seem overwhelmingly positive about the whole thing. I was REALLY worried about telling my parents, but actually they surprised me by taking it calmly! If only I could feel so relaxed about the whole thing, rather than stressing and feeling anxious about every little thing!!!

@Botanica Congrats! I remember you from another thread - and this is amazing news.

@45andFine Thanks - I'm SO relieved. It's been a journey to get here, and I'm naturally pretty pessimistic so it was inevitable that I was going to think the worst. Not helped by the doom mongering statistics about not being 25. I'm not in particularly good physical shape, I'm defo too heavy for a start but never done drugs, smoked a bit but not really and I rarely drink. Hopefully those virtues have kept me young somewhere inside 😂

Thanks @ParksAndRecreation!
I recognise you too and a few other names on this thread. So pleased you're all doing well.

I'm still getting my head around that the fact that we're now half way through and I can now feel the little one stretching her legs and kicking away. It's just amazing. Something I had resigned myself to never getting the opportunity to experience. Yet here I am!

After four unsuccessful IVFs, including one pregnancy and an MMC at 12 weeks, I was at the end of the line late last year and ended up going on sabbatical to repair my mental and physical health. Turns out it was the best thing I could have done, and despite being told there was virtually no chance of a pregnancy, we miraculously found out we were expecting in April.

Reading the last few posts I do think that those that have been actively and committed to ttc are more likely healthier than the average 40+ year old. When time's not on your side you also up your efforts, especially if you're still awaiting your firstborn.

Speaking for myself, whilst I'm not super fit or anything, I've not had alcohol, caffeine, crap food etc for many years now whilst we've been trying, and have spent a small fortune on really good supplements and vitamins to support egg quality, as well as mind body such as yoga, acupuncture etc. I'm sure all of that must increase the odds to some degree.

@cantrip they are 16,14,13 and 11. I think I'm in for a tricky journey. Though they have stopped crying, but refuse to tell their friends ..

When I found myself pregnant with number 4 at 44yr I didn't tell anyone until i was fully screened . I had a large bleed at 11 weeks and assumed i had miscarried but it turned out to be one of the arteries rupturing in the placenta. So I was scanned regularly to check the placenta and I also had a CVS as they said I was 1:4 risk of having a baby with DS. All tests came back absolutely fine. So we sat the DC down and told them, they were 18, 11 and 8 at the time. My 18 yr old laughed as he thought i was replacing him as went off to uni. My DD was fine but in the street would pretend she didnt know me as she was embarrassed. However that changed when her friends started getting excited. It ended up all being fine! Good luck ....oh and I should add the only real negative comments when we told people was from my FIL who said 'are you sure this is good news'? and went on about how old we will be when the DC was 16 and my mates laughed and told me I was mad.. Good luck

@45andfine similar ages to mine (15, 13, 11, 9). I’ve told my lot that they can’t tell their friends until I’m 12 weeks (9 days to go!), and they have said that their friends will find it strange but, they do seem to find the general idea exciting ...they’re already coming up with dozens of wild and wacky names that I’m apparently having to use!! My eldest is slightly concerned that people might think it’s hers, and my 3rd is a bit worried it might mean I won’t be able to do as much for him (he has additional needs), but mostly I’ve been impressed that they aren’t more shocked by this unexpected turn of events 🤣

I was told since my mid twenties that I would have trouble conceiving.
I fell on the pill last year, unfortunately miscarried but that was because of the pill it was a tubal .
I then fell the first month of actually trying. So now 31 weeks, apart from the HG and having to have extra scans because I have to much fluid. But the fluid is a hereditary problem, my mum and nan had too much too. I have had no extra problems. They told me all the horror story when I first went to the hospital, but I think they say the worse case scenario so you are good when it it is not as bad.