Help. My husband wants a termination for number 4

[Jennywren2018]

Hi all

I need some advice. My husband and I have three young children, 6 year old twins and a 4 year old. It’s very tough and we have no support as my mum and his mum died 3 years ago. Marriage not in great shape as a result!

We were absolute irresponsible fools and had unprotected sex less than two weeks ago, I did t think I’d even ovulated but about a week after I took my BBT and I had. I loudly chart so I know where I am in my irregular PCOS cycle (periods every 3-6 months!). After feeling funny I did a test and boom BFP. So guessing 11- 12 dpo. I just know my body and knew something felt different.

We had half joked that IF our idiocy resulted in pregnancy there would be no option other than to march me to the doctors for the abortion pill. I agreed but it was light hearted fun poking. In reality it’s very different. I had a termination at 20 years old I’ve never got over so emotional scars are resurfacing. I’ll always look at my three at the dinner table and see the ghost of the fourth!

My husband naturally wants me to terminate, reminding me of the agreement but I don’t think I can ! I don’t know what to do. Any advice is much appreciated.

I feel for you and, having never been in your situation, can't truly advise. People cope with surprise pregnancies and can be great single/co-parents.

I think the question I'd be asking myself is what is in the best interests of the three you already have?

Your body your choice. Can you cope with four on your own?

Or possibly five, given that you already have twins?!

We all make mistakes. I lost my mum 3 years ago, I'm still a heartbroken mess. It's really hard. I think counselling will help you come to terms with the pregnancy, but also consider grief counselling. It might bring you closer once you have sorted through this. Life can be hard and we dont have all the answers, but sometimes we just have to let things play out.

Once you have had baby or termination maybe book a gp appt together to discuss contraception options. Theres lots to choose from, the withdrawal isn't the most reliable. Good luck with everything, be nice to yourself and take care. Theres no dress rehearsal for life, this is it.