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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Public transport: a rant

99 replies

lazycat · 18/07/2007 21:47

I am pregnant and HUGE. Why is it that hardly anyone lets me sit down on busses? I get on the bus and the people in seats often turn away or deliberately crane their necks out of the window, or start concentrating on their books intently, leaving me to be thrown around the bus and have my bump bumped by people pushing past... grrr!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

KerryMumbledore · 23/08/2007 03:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slim22 · 23/08/2007 05:12

experienced that as well. I used to stand as close to sitting people as possible so as to nearly put my belly on their face! And then go "oops! sorry" They usually got the message.
believe it or not, I found middle aged women (who've presumably been there) the worst offenders.
Old people always offered their seat.

nangnangnang · 23/08/2007 08:57

I was a hefty 7mths pregnant on a crowded train where a seated woman looked up at my bump as I stood over her then turned back to her Daily Mail article on the decline of manners.

elkiedee · 23/08/2007 09:39

You should have said "that looks like an interesting article!" - not that I dared say things like that at the time I was pregnant

atalantis · 23/08/2007 09:42

I was travelling from Didcot to Cardiff last week on a very overcrowded train. After 15 minutes of standing (no offers of relief from fellow passengers), I found the train manager and asked to be put into first class. He was fine about it, and it's the only time I've ever been glad that people on public transport are so rude!

Mrswizz · 23/08/2007 09:58

For the last 3 or so weeks I've had a seat on every journey on the London tube bar one (am 26 weeks and travel to work every weekday), and that one was yesterday when everyone did the very interesting newspaper I can't see you thing. I must admit to being pleasantly surprised by this statistic. Up until then though I did have trouble getting a seat, must have been the pregnant or fat dilemma.

missbumpy · 23/08/2007 10:19

I have to say, I'm finding it a bit better now that I'm absolutely humungous and no one could pretend to have not noticed that I'm preggers. Having said that, I'm still amazed by some people's rudeness on the tube. I get the Victoria line every day (I'll keep an eye out for you elkiedee!) and I still have to stand sometimes because no one's offering me a seat. What really winds me up is when there's one empty seat when you get on and someone (often youngish men) beat me to it and nab the seat.

I find the way people jostle and bustle past me more worrying than the seat thing actually. I'm sure I used to be one of those rushed, rude, London people before I got pregnant. Now I just feel really vulnerable with my big bump...people practically trample over me to get to wherever they're going in rush hour!

Rachel1963 · 23/08/2007 10:30

I found the tube worst (Northern line), buses slightly better and proper trains the best.

And in Paris, I was treated like a queen, taken to the front of queues, etc, even though I was only about 4 months so not massively obviously pregnant.

NotADragonOfSoup · 23/08/2007 10:35

This isn't a problem with public transport.
It's a problem with people's manners.

aloha · 23/08/2007 10:37

I used to ask. I'd be very polite, and say, 'excuse me, do you mind if I sit, I feel rather faint'. And nobody ever refused. In fact, there was usually a lot of scrabbling and apologising. I always said thank you very politely too.

missbumpy · 23/08/2007 10:38

Oh, BTW I noticed the other day that Southeastern trains have a policy whereby pregnant season/travel card holders can write off to head office and they get sent a warrant which allows them to sit in 1st class if the train is busy. Seems like a good idea. I suspect other train operators do this to so it's worth asking or looking on their website if you regularly travel by train.

ziggyf · 23/08/2007 10:42

I was asked to move from my seat because someone had booked it. When I explained that I only had two stops to go and that I struggled to keep my balance when standing on a crowded train the woman (mid 20's) couldn't have been less interested! No-one else around offered me their seat either. :-( I'm 32 weeks pg and have a very obvious bump.

ziggyf · 23/08/2007 10:43

This was in Manchester btw so it's not just London that has mean people!

kerala · 23/08/2007 11:03

Must say I often got offered a seat on London buses. Towards the end of the pregnancy I had bad spd and was on crutches. Being heavily pregnant and on crutches people fall over themselves to give up their seats.

The people that offer to help with buggies etc are often those you would least expect - trendy young gang member/heavy metal guy wearing knuckle dusters -both insisted on carrying my buggy for me up loads of steps.

My current bugbear is childfree people sitting in the seats next to the buggy bit in the bus when there are other spare seats on the bus. Or standing gormlessly in the buggy park bit so I cant get to my buggy to sort out dd.

Norfolkbumpkin · 23/08/2007 12:02

I had the most frustrating experience a month ago. As the bus pulled up at the stop I promptly dropped my purse on the floor scattering all my change everywhere. I scarabbled around on the floor trying to pick up as much as I could see, but as a result I could not muster enough money for the fare. The driver was a star, said don't worry about it and let me on for what money I had. The full bus load of passengers just gazed at me blankly and not a single miserable git then offered me a seat. How I love public transport..............

Gemy · 23/08/2007 12:11

I get offered a seat 75% of the time but it is usually from foxy young men , teenage girls or older women. I find that women of childbearing age or those who look like they have children are the most likely just to ignore me.

I didn't know about the baby on board badges and will definatly get one.

What does annoy me as well is as your moving towards the doors to get off, no one moves out of your way and you have to literally squeeze your bump through the throng of rucksacks and bags before making it off. People really are not careful on my bump at all - don't they realise there's a baby in there!!

missbumpy · 23/08/2007 12:16

I agree about people not moving out of the way Gemy. Or worse, when people start trying to pile onto the tube when you're still trying to get off and you have to squeeze past them all. I've got some spare baby on board badges if you want them. My dp got them for me but I've never worn one...I'd just feel like a bit of a twit!

Hulan · 23/08/2007 13:11

I was rather far gone into my own pregnancy and happily sitting in a seat also in London one day when an even heavier pregnant women got on board. Nobody, but nobody offered her a seat. As my stop was next I got up and offered her mine. She gracefully declined, but I insisted and she accepted.

elkiedee · 23/08/2007 14:11

missbumpy, you won't see me on the Victoria line very much before next year, probably around Easter, as I'm on maternity leave at the moment. Normally I travel between Seven Sisters and Kings Cross in the morning - not too bad when trains start from SS, it was always much worse in the evenings, and especially for football matches. Which direction is your journey in?

missbumpy · 23/08/2007 14:24

elkiedee, I go from Blackhorse Road to Kings X (aiming to be in the office vaguely 9-5). I haven't noticed any other heavily preggers women on my route...I would have given you my seat if I had
I start mat leave in 3 weeks and I cannot wait

EnormousChangesAtTheLastMinute · 23/08/2007 14:24

just remembering tube makes me shudder. only been on mat leave two weeks but the the commute worst part of working by a long way. i've had the lot. buses are worst. once couple of girls got really aggressive about their right to not stand up - i had said nothing to them, was just standing there but they started talking to each other about 'the bitch' not getting their seat! wtf?!

missbumpy · 23/08/2007 14:26

enormouschanges I had a similar thing. It was 2 girls (late teens/early 20s?) talking very loudly next to me on the platform about how they wouldn't give me a seat if there was a free one on the train . I was having a bad day and had to really hold back the tears!

EnormousChangesAtTheLastMinute · 23/08/2007 14:32

snap! odd how upsetting it is. i suppose it's just the uncalled for aggression and unpleasantness. sigh. i try to feel sorry for them - what must their emotional lives be like if they're like this?!

missbumpy · 23/08/2007 14:48

I think it all comes down to selfishness personally. I think people are so caught up in themselves that - even though they know they really ought to give their seat to someone who needs it more - they tell themselves that someone else should give up their seat...anyone as long as it's not them.

Maybe we should all write to London Underground and suggest that the platform staff and drivers make announcements reminding people to give up their seats for the elderly, disabled and pregnant. Although, no one pays any attention when they make announcements reminding people to let passengers off the train before attempting to get on

I despair sometimes.

EnormousChangesAtTheLastMinute · 23/08/2007 14:54

i know...and when they barge past you to get on and you've got a huge bump aaaaargh! it is despressing because it's indicative of such a low opinion of everyone around them - and themselves. call me an old lefty or whatever but wouldn't we all be a lot happier in cities (and elsewhere) if we just treated people the way we'd like to be treated? why has that gone out of fashion as a template for rubbing along together? oh well, i shall be urging it on my dcs as yardstick.
gotta nip off to docs now. good luck for your next three weeks of commuting and all the best for what comes after!

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