What would you do?

[Elbie2019]

I'm having a bit of a moral dilemma! It's my friend's hen party at the end of this month. I am one of her bridesmaids. She is going abroad for 2 nights - it's all very alcohol orientated and we are staying in a hostel where we are sharing rooms in large groups.

I'm 5 weeks pregnant and will be between 7 and 8 weeks when we go. I've already suffered from some spotting and the exhaustion has definitely kicked in already. I'm not being sick but I just feel it whenever I eat.

I really don't know what to do. This is my first pregnancy and I'm already anxious about everything going to plan. I don't want to let her down but I also already know I'll feel so exhausted that I won't be able to fully participate.

What's your opinions?

If you are exhausted and feeling poorly, you stay home. Your health and that of your baby comes first.

Stay home. If you're that close to your friend then talk to them about it in confidence.

I would tell her that you’re pregnant but it’s very early so don’t want to tell anyone else. My friend was a bridesmaid for me and didn’t come to my hen but didn’t tell me why exactly, just said she was very ill. She was then awkward about things like dress fittings. I was starting to doubt our friendship, then she told me she was pregnant - early stages like you. Your friend will understand for sure.

Honestly - if it was me and I was a bridesmaid I would definitely still go. I would tell my friend about the pregnancy and just not drink when I was there, and not go out in the evenings/for the whole night if I was tired. That's just me though and I wouldn't be doing it because my friend would be upset if I didn't go, rather that I wouldn't bear to miss my best friend's hen do unless I was at death's door. It depends what your friendship is like and how bad you feel.

I would definitely stay home. I was exhausted in my first trimester and couldn't have handled girls weekend. Plus, morning sickness can come on quickly and leave you feeling awful.

I’d go, but tell her I’m pregnant and have early nights

I wouldn't go, but tell her I'm pregnant and it isn't going smoothly.