Why is everyone so negative about a boy?

[pancakes22]

Please can I have some reassurance... for some reason as soon as I tell anyone I'm having a boy I keep getting comments like oh be ready to be on your feet constantly/you won't know what's hit you/boys a whirlwinds/boys will have constant energy and are so much more physical etc/more likely to hit out etc etc. There just always seems to be something negative people say? At the moment i am used to doing colouring and my DD playing nicely with her figures etc but I just didn't really imagine it would be much different second time round regardless of whether it's a boy or a girl? At first I used to just laugh it off but the nearer I get to my due date and the more people keep going on about it, the more I'm actually starting to feel a bit nervous which is a horrible feeling to have. Are people just being silly or should I actually prepare myself for hecticness becoming a mum of a boy?

My ds was much much h easier than my dd.
People like to talk rubbish and repeat stuff gg they have heard or have had said to them. I don’t think hey even register what hey are saying.

I can't speak for others but my two boys are just lovely. Totally different in the things they enjoy but both full of energy, never still for long and both mummy's boys. Wouldn't change them for the world.

Tell them to do one ☝🏾

My boy is 8 weeks and he’s soooo fab 🙈

When I was pregnant with my son I was told the opposite. Everyone told me how much easier boys are. He's only a month old now so time will tell lol.

I’ve got two boys and a girl. My oldest boy has never colored or sat still, but is a delight. My daughter loves that stuff. My baby is another boy and I have no idea what he will be like - his personality is as unique as anyone’s.

"Tell them to fuck off with their negative stereotypes. Some kids are active and boisterous some are creative and sensitive some are somewhere in between.

Of course if you reinforce the boys will be boys/little princess bollocks then you might end up with an unruly boy and a precious spoiled girl but that is nurture not nature.

Treat your child as an individual not a blue/pink cliche"

As Lexiloo said. I have three DS and a DD. My boys are NOT boisterous monsters and never have been. My daughter is not a princess and never will be (unless she marries one of the Cambridges).

It isn't sexist to say that there are differences between the sexes.

I think for me it's knowing that girls grow up to care for their families, and boys usually don't. Cue 1000 posts replying that oh no, in their family their brother has taken in his disabled parents and looks after them all on his own, alongside being SAHD for his own kids, meanwhile their sister has never even called them up and has abandoned her own children. However in the real world, women do most of the caring work.

And I don't think it's how you are raised either. I think we all know super modern, non traditional, equality valuing couples who have somehow raised stereotypically behaving children. And the reverse, where old fashioned parents end up with a non gender conforming child they completly fail to understand.

I have three boys and a girl

Dd is by far the messiest most chaotic child in my house!

What?! Everyone I know wants boys and girls are the disappointments 😂 x

I have a boy and a girl. The main difference I've found is that I had to be more careful changing the boy's nappies to avoid wee in my face. Also, girl socialization stuff around the age of 10 is pretty brutal, but there might be a boy equivalent at some point. And now DD is about to hit her teens, I'm finding myself starting to worry about sexual assault etc. But they both have similar interests and activity levels and degrees of being snuggly.

But if you are just asking about views on mumsnet, the opinion seems to go the other way. 100s of posters will come on to assure you that no no no no, boys are sooo amazing and cuddly and caring, and girls are nasty horrible bitches from the moment they enter this world. MN doth protest too much, me thinks.

DuggeesWoggle

Yes this!! When I was pregnant with my first I remember so many people saying "ohhhh I HOPE it's a girl" and getting all gooey over the idea...
Thankfully they all loved DS when he arrived, BUT now I'm pregnant with no. 2 I've also had a fair few comments about "hopefully it's a girl this time!" 🙄🙄

It is, as it happens, and I'm nervous lol

Ugh, I really wish people would stop stereotyping kids. What an awful thing to say. Don't pay any attention to those remarks OP. Your child will be what he will be. In fact if you dress him in gender neutral clothing people won't know what to make of him.

I've heard people say that boys wreck your house and girls wreck your head. I wouldn't worry, people will always have an opinion to give. Totally depends on the child.

I had a boy 3 weeks ago and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me and my DH. Congratulations!

When people make comments on the gender of your baby ...just say' it's a baby first and foremost....well discover his/her personality as s/he grows and develops. But thanks for your comments....byeee.....'

Am getting quite emotional reading all these lovely posts
Don’t worry a bit OP I think people just feel they need to say something- I probably come across as disinterested as I tend to not pass any comments for fear of causing offence !

I have one of each and yes maybe some of the stereotypes do apply to him - DS (5) definitely plays more physically, more energy to burn off ..
but oh my goodness that boy makes me so happy to be his Mum - he is so kind , funny, loving , thoughtful - even his teachers are charmed by him.. my DD is a very different character very independent so I love all the affection and company I get from my boy...
ahhhhh OP you have special times ahead when you meet your son - whatever his personality brings you will as you say fall in love and not be able to imagine your family without him
Good luck

It's about being aware of the language we use around children too.....do we use more endearments to girls ? More robust comments to boys??
Do we praise little girls for looking pretty ?
What's interesting is that little girls are often praised for sitting still and doing art work ,etc.....while boys are tutted at for running around....all kids need exercise.
The girls should be encouraged to run around more because when they hit puperty most of them will become body conscious (sadly, largely due to social media)

People are funny. I'm expecting my first DS after two, lovely DD's. Everyone I tell celebrates like we've won the lottery, because we MUST have wanted a boy this time. We're obviously thrilled to be having a baby, regardless, but what must my DD's think when people clap their hands with glee when I tell them?! It's most odd. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Oh, and incidentally my 7 year old DD won't sit and colour, she's like a puppy and needs constant exercise. She even said to me recently, on a lazy Sunday afternoon, mum, I need to run!

People forget it's a baby in there...your baby , regardless of gender.
When you're pregnant you need to protect yourself from these comments by just saying ' it's a baby , my baby '

People are morons 🙄 there is no difference between girls/boys except for the obvious bit between the legs!
My son is active, loud and a little bit crazy sometimes, but he is also extremely sensitive, cuddly and loving at the same time. He is very much a mummies boy.
When I was pregnant with my second, it honestly didn't phase me if I had a girl or another boy, in the end I had a girl and while it is lovely that I have one of each I would have been just as happy with 2 boys. Sex doesn't dictate what type of personality your child has and people who are negative towards having a boy seriously need to get over it. I love my boy and wouldn't change him for the world ♥

It's a proof that gender stereotyping and therefore conditioning starts in the womb. And it's other people doing it, not only the parents.

think for me it's knowing that girls grow up to care for their families, and boys usually don't. Cue 1000 posts replying that OH (other half) no, in their family their brother has taken in his disabled parents and looks after them all on his own, alongside being SAHD (stay at home dad) for his own kids, meanwhile their sister has never even called them up and has abandoned her own children. However in the real world, women do most of the caring work

I agree. Obviously some men do step up and stick around and see their families often etc but in every family I know, the men have nothing to do with their parents except on Christmas Day! Sad really! Whereas all the girls visit their parents at least once a fortnight.
Thing is, a lot of people love having boys and say they’re sweet and sensitive and loving and mummy’s boys but by the time they’re at secondary school, they’re no longer cuddly and sensitive. And even worse as they go through secondary.

I think the whole boy/girl thing is bollocks. I'm a teacher, I see hundreds of them every week. Lots of boys like sitting down and colouring and doing wordsearches and show lots of empathy/compassion / care for others. Lots of girls run around like they've got ants in their pants, shout/scream and play lots of sports. People are who they are!

I'm glad we have teachers like you Katniss.