Why is everyone so negative about a boy?

[pancakes22]

Please can I have some reassurance... for some reason as soon as I tell anyone I'm having a boy I keep getting comments like oh be ready to be on your feet constantly/you won't know what's hit you/boys a whirlwinds/boys will have constant energy and are so much more physical etc/more likely to hit out etc etc. There just always seems to be something negative people say? At the moment i am used to doing colouring and my DD playing nicely with her figures etc but I just didn't really imagine it would be much different second time round regardless of whether it's a boy or a girl? At first I used to just laugh it off but the nearer I get to my due date and the more people keep going on about it, the more I'm actually starting to feel a bit nervous which is a horrible feeling to have. Are people just being silly or should I actually prepare myself for hecticness becoming a mum of a boy?

Every child is different. And will come with their own individual challenges and quirks regardless of whether they are a boy or girl. I have a 16 month old boy and he is wonderful. Hard work, but aren't all babies?

When i had ds i was asked by a mum at school if its any different having a boy than a girl.

Ds was 10 days old.

That is one of the most stupidest things i ve ever been asked!

If you haven't already, watch Girls Toys VS Boyd Toys The Experiment

It's just stereotypes. Largely reinforced because when a boy runs around being noisy it's all "ooh he's a boy they do that" and let him whereas when a girl does the same she's discouraged and so stops, eventually.

Because girls are socialised early into being 'nice', meaning sitting quietly, looking pretty, drawing or playing with dolls, and praised for these things. They are often criticised for being 'loud' or 'unladylike' or 'bossy' if they play in a more active, physical, noisy, or leading the group way.

I speak as the mother of a girl who refuses to be pigeon holed, is stronger and better at climbing than every boy in her year and despises dolls.

So, it depends how you intend to raise your son, really.

Oh, and DD also loves drawing and colouring, and is the most loving and cuddly child you could meet. Funny that. She doesn't fit any of the stereotypes. Y'know, cause she's an individual, not an amalgamation of bullshit ideas people have about the roles of each sex.

Thank you all. I have a really nice warm fuzzy feeling thinking about him now. Like you all say, who knows what he will be like but I know I will fall in love regardless! Isn't it just bizarre how people think they can say these kinds of things to pregnant people - whether it's size of bump or horror stories of births or negatives about sex. Thank you again for a lovely little ray of positivity :)

I was actually going to start this thread but from the other perspective. I have a boy and have just found out we are having a girl in the autumn. The difference in reactions when I tell people I am having a girl to when I said I was having a boy is startling - they are so much more gushing and starry eyed. More so than me as it happens. I always wanted a boy so was overjoyed that DS was one and he is a fantastic little chap - loving, cuddly, entertaining and fun. He doesn't run wild all the time, he spends ages playing with his train tracks and doing little role plays (he's 3). I'm a bit ambivalent about having a girl tbh, I don't feel I know how to parent one or relate to one which I know is insane especially as I am one!! I kind of wanted 2 boys but I know I will love my girl as much as I do my son. She may well grow up to be wilder, louder and more boisterous than ds but I won't mind that, she will need all the guts she can get!

My DS is literally amazing ... utterly the best thing ever, very chilled and loving. No issues at all.

I'm glad you feel better OP.
You are carrying a precious little bundle who loves his mummy already.
People are insensitive and bladder our rubbish with no thought to how it may effect the listener .
X

I dont why people always say that! my first born (boy) was the most content baby ever!! and is now 6 years old. He is the sweetest most well behaved boy! his sister was the opposite she was wild from the day she was born and has a larger than life personality would never change them completely thing it depends on the individual not the gender.

I had a DD first, didn't know what to expect when I found out I was having a boy! My son is now 12, when he was little he would sit and play with trains, train tracks, cars, his kitchen for hours and hours. He was very chilled out & still is. Was never charging round or climbing, never liked football. I remember feeling so chilled out at the time! When expecting my 3rd I wanted another boy! Got another DD, she wants to be a ninja when she grows up (and a food critic 🤣) they're all ace & make me proud every day, they're a joy to be with. All completely individual. Enjoy every day, they're a gift!

My precious boy is 3 and a total mummys boy...very lively and energetic but so sweet too. Whenever i am ready to go out he will say you look very nice mummy or you look cute in that outfit mummy!

If someone is negative about a boy, they are a nasty bastard.

My boyfriend has a little boy, hes 5 on Thursday, hes is defo a handful and the biggest pain in the ass ever. But I love him to bits, and honestly couldn't imagen my life without him! Because after all the screaming and tantrums hes so lovable and funny and smart.
Theres no sugar coating it, boys can be a pain in the ass, but so can girls Haha! But when they randomly come over and give you a cuddle and kiss it is so worth it

I found out I’m having a boy today, little bit of shock and that’s only because I always saw myself with a girl! Not behavioural - just because I’m girly - love girly things and always had sisters! But the best thing about today... seeing a healthy baby on the screen after a shit time last year with a mmc. I am so blessed and grateful to be pregnant again and going through what I did opened my eyes and gave me an insight in to what it must be like for couples who try for years with no success, the mother’s that have multiple miscarriages or the mother’s who can’t ever have children. The 5 months of trying after we lost one seemed like years when in reality that’s not a patch on some peoples journeys. All baby’s are blessings whether they are girls or boys and they are brought up to be like their mums and dads and how you are with them. Some People talk so much bs - don’t listen to it 😂I got annoyed with people asking me if I was excited to find out the sex of my baby today - to me it was to check if my baby was doing well. My boy is my boy now🥰 🤰🏽Xxx

@TheFairyCaravan

What a lovely post, you made me well up. I hope to have a bond like that with my sons one day.

As a mum of 2 boys and 1 girl, I can easily say that my daughter is the noisiest and messiest child in the house as well as the most adventurous. I have one quiet boy who likes reading and peace and quiet, and one cheeky boy who is extremely affectionate and loving. All so different, nothing to do with being male or female.

Well, there have been the times on a cold, wet Feb afternoon when I've called my sister and found her doing sticking, glitter and Hama beads with her three young daughters, and I'm just about to tog up my boys in wellies and coats for a tramp across the muddy fields to burn up some energy.....

That's true but obv only one tiny window in our lives!

Congratulation on your son, boys are fab - my 10 year old loves to snuggle with me and he's not a lanky beansprout, we're running out of room!

As for the other one, he's 6'2" and I could not be more proud to be his Mum.

I already have a DD and I’m pregnant with my DS. I’m so fed up with hearing how much hard work he’s going to be and how boys are tearaways and boisterous.

If people don’t know I’ve already got a girl and I tell them I’m having a boy, some people look sad or say “good luck!!” but then suddenly perk up when I say I’ve already got a DD. “Oh, how lovely, one of each.” I just find it really strange.

I’ve got a 2 year old DS and a 3 month old DS. When I was pregnant with DS2 I had so many people tell me how sorry they were and hopefully next time I’d have a little girl (there won’t be a next time, I’m done!.) I think it’s horrible how much people favour girls.

Oh and I love my nieces of course. I think the thing I've been melancholy about with not having a DD is seeing the relationship between my friends and their daughters my DS1's age (20). I can talk to them in a different way as we have more shared interest (films, books, women's issues). I'll get that with my nieces though.

Boys are fab!! My DS (11) is kind, thoughtful, will share anything with anyone and works hard at school. I couldn't be more proud of him! He has a group of likeminded friends & they are a pleasure to be around. Good luck, hope all goes well xx

Goodness.... Hanna beads are good to children, not just girls , same goes for wellies and outdoor play in all weathers.
If we , as parents/adults stopped expecting and therefore, providing gendered stereotypical activities and let the child chose and develop her/his own identity we would have fewer problems.

I've heard people say "boys will wreck your home and girls will wreck your head" but all the little boys I know are sooooo calm. I think it's just an old wives tale tbh.
Try not to worry! Xx

@roisinagusniamh I was being tongue in cheek! My boys have hama beads and my nieces have wellies.