Advice needed please, Dr wants to induce my partner at 38+5 but we want a natural birth

[daddytrashpanda]

Hi, first time poster long time reader, normally the first place i come to then the nhs :p

My SO is 38+1 had bloated/swollen legs and feet since 33+5 and now has pain in the groin area more recently.

She's being monitored twice a week for high blood pressure since being in over night at 35+0, but been fine since. Urine sample shows minimum sugar and protein, so no scares there.

Baby is above the 90th centile weighing 8lbs at 37+3

Mucus plug started coming out at 36+6 and a failed sweep shortly after.

My question comes from what the Dr wants us to do. He makes it seem like we have 2 options, to be induced or to have a C-section because of the size of baby and how uncomfortable my SO is.

We're both quite tall and was hoping for a natural birth. Fully under the impression, everything to do with the birth was our plan unless there was an emergency and the Midwife then makes the call.

My worry is, we live in a built up area and it seems they prefer c-sections to keep the beds free, even self admitting 1/3 of births are C-section at that unit.

Any advice would appreciated, becomimg uneasy over how we're being handled by the Dr, the midwives however are great.

If the induction recommendation is being based purely on size and discomfort then I would decline. There is actually a 15% discrepancy at this stage in estimated fetal weight. @SinkGirl you have mentioned that most babies are 'ready' at 37 weeks...whilst term is considered 37 weeks, there is new research that shows a significant amount of neurodevelopment occurs between 37 and 39 weeks gestation. The hospital I work in as a midwife have started a campaign to ensure there is no inductions prior to the 39 week gestation unless there is significant risk factors. OP, you have asked a couple of times about induction being successful etc...an induction would technically be classified as successful if your partner was able to have her waters broken and started having contractions, even if it ended up in a caesarean. If there is concerns over your partners BP, I would obviously reconsider declining IOL but if it was just a one off and has been normal since and bloods are normal then I see no need for induction. I recently had some BP problems in my pregnancy at 34 weeks, they monitored it, it resolved without meds and I spontaneously laboured at 40 weeks and had a normal birth. All the best...I think you sound like you are getting a bit of a hard time from some on here and I get the feeling you are just trying to be informed and involved.

I was told I needed to be induced. I refused and said that I would come in for monitoring but unless either of us where at risk I wanted to wait and allow things to progress naturally. Large babies can be born naturally, pelvic pain can be caused by the babies head being down and swelling is natural. Just be polite but firm and be willing to change your plan should problems arise.

I would definitely go with the doctors advice. Safe delivery of your baby is the most important thing here. And having a very definitive birth plan isn't a good idea as it leads to disappointment when medical intervention is needed.

@WLondonMum

I would always trust a medical opinion over my own, the Dr wasn't direct and it seems such a lacked guess, which is what knocked us off.

Not rude at all for asking, not just assuming. As I've said before here, it's her plan and whatever she wants i will honour. She knows I'll give her space at a pin drop. We currently don't live together (refurbing new home) and i also work full time, so time together is minimal really

@Ginger1982

What a horrible experience. I hope you both came out the otherside healthy

If the doctor is recommending it then I'd believe what they are saying. Remember that doctors have a way of saying things calmly so you don't panic. I knew my daughters scan was bad because I needed a c section 8 weeks early. None of the doctors ever showed panic or urgency though it was more "we've taken a look at the scan and we think it would be best if she was born today, so we are going to take you for a section in a few hours. Here is the paperwork we will go through". It wasn't until afterwards the surgeon said if it was a few hours later she wouldn't have survived.

They will really actively avoid causing a mass panic when they can guide you into what they think is the safest option at the time. The best outcome is a healthy baby and a healthy mum, it doesn't matter how that happens.

@citykat

Youre right about, a healthy baby and mother is key, i fully agree. Please understand, I'm only supporting my partners plan, no intervention is wanted unless required

I think you've had a lot of good advice here... but I guess one needs to be careful of the word 'plan'... birth is an extraordinary experience and there are so many factors that can take you off a planned path. Intellectualising the process (when you are someone who 'leads') can give you a sense of control... but may end up not helping your partner and baby. I wish you both the best of luck.

@photofinished

Certainly right, they couldn't have given less thought, on both our sides we have a lot of tall men in the family

Thank you for the details. If it's not to rude, what was you recovering from? the pain relief side effects? Damage from the delivery? Sorry to here you had such a bad time

The hospital I work in as a midwife have started a campaign to ensure there is no inductions prior to the 39 week gestation unless there is significant risk factors.

Oh I absolutely agree, and certainly in my LMS an induction would never happen for a singleton prior to 39 weeks unless there were very significant risks to continuing. I’m just saying that the idea that babies will come when they are ready is a lovely one but not always accurate, and the longer you wait past full term, the greater the risks you’re facing and it’s important to understand this.

I also agree with the PP who said doctors don’t always fully voice the extent of their concerns in an attempt to keep you calm. I had no idea how seriously wrong things had gone until I was literally on my way to theatre. Everyone was so calm and breezy.

OP, of course you should trust your own instincts over the advice of an obstetrician with more than ten years specialist training. Oh, wait.... !

Joking apart. I detest the term “birth plan”. You do not have any control of birth, it’s a brutal natural process which kills 800 women a day worldwide. It’s mere wish fulfilment and fantasy to think it will go the way you decide. It would be more realistic to view it as a life threatening process and be glad that you live in a country with free healthcare, that has reduced maternal and infant mortality to very low levels, by having highly qualified obstetricians in charge of labour suites. Labour is no place for amateurs or control freaks to be calling the shots.

@daddytrashpanda recovery from the birth, as many women I was cut to help the baby come out, so had stitches. It normal to have some incontinence after birth, and after such a large baby thing took an extra long time to get back to normal. Lots of pelvic floor exercises and not over doing the lifting etc.

I didn't have an epidural, so I didn't need time to recover from pain relief. It was hard to walk though... ouch. But I did walk to the ward from the birth suite. I only had pethidine, gas & air. The pethidine can make the baby a bit drowsy at birth, but I don't think it had any side effects on me.

OP Dh is tall (Dutch!) Dd was ten pounds on the nose when she was born. But the labour was chaotic and I ended up having a c-section.

Dd1 ( to my first partner) was 7lb 6 and I had a normal delivery.

It was suggested dd3 another Big baby was c-section too which I happily agreed with. I thought the recovery from c-section was much easier than a natural one.

It was so much more controlled

Honestly don't worry. I would take the induction it's fine, better that than go too far over with a bigger baby and end up induced anyway. The important bit is you get your baby here safely.

The people providing graphic descriptions of birth injuries on this thread might want to think on...

@Justus22

Thank you

I've also heard around a pound a week at this stage. If they was straight up worried i wish they would be more decisive

I thought I might add also that I've begged to be induced early previously and they won't have it unless they feel you really need it. I was in a lot of discomfort due to excess fluid that they somehow missed until 41 weeks (I am not exaggerating my size when I tell you I got called octomum and asked if I were having multiples daily from 30wks.) Then when they did get me in for induction they had no bed spaces to induce me so I sat on the ward for a week waiting at the top of the list of 15 women who also needed induction but first priority is given to those in spontaneous labour... It wasn't fun. I understand you not wanting induction, if I'd read half the things on here about it before I was induced previously I'd have been terrified by it but reality is those early inductions do give you the best shot at as natural a Labour as is possible if you have a big baby as the bigger your baby the more likely your other half will need episiotomy (to be cut) ventouse or forceps because they can get stuck and distressed... I know this first hand because my first two they let me go over due and I needed forceps for number 1 who was 8lb12 and ventouse for dc2 who was 9lb10, dc3 I just about managed to push out without assistance but he was under 8lb and induced at 38 weeks. The most calm, laid back labour was the 3rd. I agree with previous posters who say there really can be no plan and to trust the professionals. X

@steppemum

I've obviously came off wrong. I'm here for my original question. I'm not controlling over her, if i was, she would definitely tell me. I'm worried and new to all this, not being filled with confidence from the NHS. Somehow this thread is become riddled with haters coming to prejudmental conclusions on off subject issues that is all

As I've said many times before here, it's her birthplan, I'm honouring it.

The birthplan was together from the NHS website and small guidance from the midwives, how is it possible to not be idealistic about this, being the first child and all? At least we've done something.

@BabyNameQ

Thank you at least one person on here understands. Not bothing with them now i just view it as they're possibly disappointed with their own lives and it makes them feel better trying to bring someone else down, as petty as it may be. Quite sad really.

I've mentioned what you said to my partner, you seem a very strong person

You don't have to link them, been reading lots, thank you though

@Clankboing

I'll take that onboard

@daddytrashpanda Many people understand your view. However, doctors make their decision based on statistics. Believe me when I say it once you feel the pain the birth plan is out of the window. I had planned C-section, but my baby had a different idea. My water broke too early and I end up being induced and having forceps. We had a choice to have C-section or induction on the day, however, for C-section, I would need to travel to another hospital and it was a greater risk of breathing difficulty. We made a good decision as the baby was born safety with no breathing problems
. If I have chosen C-section the outcome might have been different as an hour after our decision the snow-covered all roads and you could only travel 4x4. Unfortunately, birth is not always what we plan.

@boredpanda84

The 10% is just what they admitted. The more i read into it some have been closer to 30%

"neurodevelopment occurs between 37 and 39 weeks gestation." Development is the main reason we want baby to come when he's ready, there's still so much unknown.

Your clarity of what's deemed as a successful induction is really helpful.

" I get the feeling you are just trying to be informed and involved." Exactly, i did lead the thread with Advice not Judge Me

Thank you for being so helpful

@MumUnderTheMoon

Exactly, bang on

@Downthecanal

I suppose recovery from either one has it pro and cons over the other.