Advice needed please, Dr wants to induce my partner at 38+5 but we want a natural birth

[daddytrashpanda]

Hi, first time poster long time reader, normally the first place i come to then the nhs :p

My SO is 38+1 had bloated/swollen legs and feet since 33+5 and now has pain in the groin area more recently.

She's being monitored twice a week for high blood pressure since being in over night at 35+0, but been fine since. Urine sample shows minimum sugar and protein, so no scares there.

Baby is above the 90th centile weighing 8lbs at 37+3

Mucus plug started coming out at 36+6 and a failed sweep shortly after.

My question comes from what the Dr wants us to do. He makes it seem like we have 2 options, to be induced or to have a C-section because of the size of baby and how uncomfortable my SO is.

We're both quite tall and was hoping for a natural birth. Fully under the impression, everything to do with the birth was our plan unless there was an emergency and the Midwife then makes the call.

My worry is, we live in a built up area and it seems they prefer c-sections to keep the beds free, even self admitting 1/3 of births are C-section at that unit.

Any advice would appreciated, becomimg uneasy over how we're being handled by the Dr, the midwives however are great.

As it happens I have a partner. One who was sensible enough to know that in the delivery room, his opinions on the best way to get our baby out meant squat.

@SinkGirl

You like assuming rather than asking

@daddytrashpanda at your appointment please ask if there is a suspicion of preeclampsia as the high blood pressure and protein might be a sign of it. If there is a slight chance of this, there is a greater chance of stillborn if you will wait for a natural delivery.

I'm willing to bet you are a 'we are pregnant' kinda guy...

@BabyNameQ

Thank you

Why are you so against being induced?

@Dvg

Good to know, I'm hoping they would advise, if not, I'll ask before is inducing is involved

@TwinkleStars15

Thank you. They've admitted 10% allowable error in the growth scan. We've witnessed scans closs together, seeing the measurements performed in slightly different ways. The most accurate would probably be having the same person each time.

Your very right and I've made clear everything is her choice

I was told I was having a huge baby "off the charts" so I agreed to an induction for fear of ending up with a c-section. I had my little boy at 39+3 and he was 7lb3 they'd said he was over 8lbs at 37 weeks. The induction was fine & quick but I don't think you can trust the scans too much, or not in my case anyway. Good luck whatever you both decide

@yesyesyesmama

They haven't talked about shoulder dystocia, i know about it, but I'll be sure to ask. Also about pre-eclampsia, they did rule it out but I'll ask again.

Protein is minimal and blood pressure has been ok

@SirBobblyofSock

Glad you found each other. You actually took time out of your day to come to a thread like this where someone is at a bad point seeking some guidance, only for you to try and put them down multiple times.

You'll have to try harder than that

I was told privately by a friend who is a very respected consultant that the one thing he saw over and over again was people waiting too long (sometimes in the hope of a natural birth...) and losing their baby to stillbirth.

Please don't focus on your 'belief' that the baby will come when it is ready. An experienced Dr might have a strong gut feeling that all is not well and might be right... a failed induction followed by a C-section is definitely, definitely not the worst thing that can happen to you.

I was someone who was preparing for a home birth and sadly lost my baby (nothing to do with the birth). I went on to have a second induced baby (ventouse at the end but no real issues, I even used the birthing pool and had a 'walking' epidural) and after that an elective C-section with my third.

Your only concern should be a healthy baby and mother as possible... and induction and C-section may be part of that journey.

This is going to sound a little odd... and I hope not rude... but I hope your partner has enough space to actually 'feel' and interpret what is going on in her body and what choices she needs to make.

My pregnancy was IVF and I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to go over my due date. They told me my baby was big and induced me at 38 weeks. I had three pessaries that all failed and were as painful as hell. Then I had my water manually broken and put on the drip. Contractions were agony and I quickly opted for the epidural which was great, but did keep slipping on one side.

I couldn't push properly when the time came and DS was still quite high up. They told me forceps then I ended up with an emergency section. I lost a lot of blood post op too. DS was 9lb 4oz.

If I have another baby. I'm definitely not being induced again.

Normally don't post on topics like hear but have to given what poster above just said. Colleague lost baby at 40+2 weeks. Still born , I went to 40 + 1 week no sign of baby. "What baby wants etc" is not definitive, what doc thinks is more relevant in my view. Pessary- not invasive, no effect for me though. Waters broken manually by midwife led to immediate short labour and a healthy baby home 2 hours later. If I had waited til "baby was ready" might have been very different. Previous posters have referrrf to 'outcomes', basically it matters not how baby comes, provided baby comes healthy and alive. Too many people don't achieve that end. Why take the risk? No one after the first 2 years could care less induced/ceasarean/ivf/breastfeed/bottle fed/co slept/cot/ any other parenting trend/ method. Healthy baby is the aim. Good luck and best wishes and in my view listen to the medics they are there to help.

I was induced due to being over due. They planned the induction for 12 days over 40 weeks ( or 41+5) I am tall, my DH is 6 ft so not small, but not massive for a man. My family has history of large babies, but that's not considered by the NHS.

Had a sweep at 39 weeks, but apparently whatever they feel for was no showing any hope. But we waited for nature to take charge. It didn't.

Anyway had the pessary in the induction ward at 41+5, monitored and sent home to come back in 24 hours. Told to go for walk. I didn't feel much, but had a rough nights sleep.
Went back next day so 41+6, monitored and they said not much happening, we will brake your waters and put you on a drip to cause contractions. This was about 12 midday, baby born at 8pm.

So they did, it started off slowly but the active part was intense and fast. Yes it hurt. But I expected it to hurt. It hurt a lot, but once my baby was born I felt fine. It's over.

I had gas and air and pethidine painkiller in early stages, but it wore off. I gave birth to an 11 llb baby via an assorted birth using ventouse ( suction)

Now I'm very lucky after a loooong recovery I am fine. But if I could of been induced earlier, I would so the baby wasn't so big. If I have another I will have c section to order.

The best thing is to have your baby arrive safe and well.

Good luck.

I haven't the same experience but babies put on weight fairly quickly at that stage of pregnancy. If your baby was measuring 8lbs at 37 weeks another week and a bit they will be even heavier, I was told by a midwife they gain approx 1lb per week at the end and so in your other half's case that could potentially mean an 11lb baby by due date or if she goes over even heavier... They wouldn't be able to let her deliver, she'd need a c section then. My relative was forced to have a section as her baby measured almost 11lbs with no signs of imminent labour. Ive been induced but delivered naturally each time, it's not bad at all in my experience and not accepting the induction would've led to c sections or put my baby's life at risk in my case, I went 16 days over due with my 2nd and I doubt anyone would want that. I hope you get the birth you want but please listen to all the advice, a healthy and safe mother and baby are far more important than a birth to plan (not many experience those anyway, especially not with first babies). Good luck x

*@SinkGirl

You like assuming rather than asking*

Do I? About what?

Here was me thinking I spent a considerable amount of my limited time writing out a reply explaining why the ideal of an intervention-free birth is not always safe or best.

If you’re referring to my two word support of another’s post - i agreed with her reaction to the wording. Nothing more.

It sounds like it's time for that baby to come out. Go with what the experienced medical professionals recommend, they'll be doing what's best for your partner and the baby. Birth plans rarely go to plan. Good luck to you both

Sorry but you don't "go through the pregnancy together". Your partner is pregnant, you're not.

I always find these threads weird. Why doesn't your partner write herself? Does she know that you're writing about her intimate medical info online?

You’re in cloud cuckoo land OP

Just wondering what your mean when you said My worry is, we live in a built up area and it seems they prefer c-sections to keep the beds free Women who have c-sections generally stay in hospital longer than those that have intervention free vaginal births, so this doesn’t make any sense.

SirBobby he’s a guy that “naturally leads” 🙄

My worry is, we live in a built up area and it seems they prefer c-sections to keep the beds free

Doesn’t happen, not anywhere. If anything, hospitals are reluctant to perform c sections in this country without it being medically essential. Keeping c section rates in line with national averages has been a huge focus of most LMS for years.

OP, I mean this kindly, but some of the stuff you’re saying sounds like some of the propaganda spread by some organisations. I know women who’ve really bought into this stuff in pregnancy and have suffered severe birth trauma, PND and feelings of failure when interventions have become crucial to saving their or their baby’s life. It’s so important to focus only on your personal situation and what’s medically best for you and your baby because ideals about what should happen rarely mean much in practice, and mortality rates have improved enormously because of these interventions.

OP, I have a loving suportive husband, and to be honest, your posts sound controlling.
What happens in the birthing suite is up to your wife. Not you. You don't get any say in it at all.
Your role is to support what she wants.

I have had 3 inductions.
the first was because ds was 14 days overdue. They wanted to induce at 10 days over, and, having read all the books, I insisted they wait the full 2 weeks, in the hope he would come naturally, he didn't. I had pessaries, they started labour, but ds was back to back and labour was very painful and did not progress. After 24 hours, they suggested a drip to speed up induction, then an epidural as the drip can cause strong painful contractions. They tried to time the epidural to wear off enough to push. I pushed, for 2 long hours, as as they were preping me for a forceps delivery, ds was born. He was 10 lbs 1 oz, and had an enormous head
It was horrendous.

with dd1 I was ill, and had to be induced at 38 weeks for health of baby. I had pessaries, labour started, pregressed naturally, was quick and easy and dd was born a few hours later. Very easy birth, very straightforward, she was 8lbs 7 oz

dd2, I was overdue and asked for induction as soon as possible. was induced at 10 days over, pessary, contractions started and she was born 1.5 hours later. Very easy and straightforward, but very painful, as she was 10lbs and 7oz.

scans are not a goo indication of size, none of mine were picked up as being big. My two big babies were hard to give birth to. ds nearly got stuck, dd1, if she had gone to term, would probably also be a 10 lb baby. It was SO MUCH easier, because she was 2 lbs smaller.

In the end, all desires to have natural birth, minumal pain relief etc, vanished in the sight of extreme pain, and the fear that my baby was in danger from my long drawn out labours.

You sound sadly idealistic, and that is actually not helpful to your partner.

@daddytrashpanda

No to induction mainly because of the continuous contractions mentioned before. I don’t want to spend 4-5 days away from my little girl while I wait for an induction to kick in and as stats show they usually end up with intervention or a c-section i’d rather go straight to that.

Also, I’m not sure why people are being so judgy on here about you asking questions on behalf of your partner. Some people are so odd! Not sure why a man being interested and gathering facts seems so odd to people.....

There have been a couple of good threads about big babies recently if you use the search. Lots of examples of positive birth experiences with bigger babies and details what choices they made. Might be useful reading for you and your partner. I’d link to them but I’m not sure how!

I've had 4 babies and each one of them induced. My first was over two weeks overdue when he arrived and was huge for me. Let's just say the effects 'down below' were not pleasant for the first year of my baby's life. After the second baby I started to realise that I appeared to be a person for whom labour did not seem to happen naturally. If the poor woman is uncomfortable, the baby seems ready and the doctor has given the nod, I think she should go for it.