Before that’s a really good way to look at it. I HATE being so lazy, and I hope dh doesn’t think I’m milking it (pretty sure he doesn’t...) I do worry people think I’m being a wuss. I put a fb post up on hg awareness day last week with extracts from pss about what it’s like to have hg and had people commenting saying they had no idea it was so bad and feeling very sorry for me, which felt in a weird way nice that I could educate them and explain I’m not just making it all up and trying to have an easy life by staying at home all the time. I think people genuinely have no clue what it’s like. Until I read this I didn’t believe I had hg, and then so much of it rang so true for me and it was like someone understood me, someone had gone through this before, it wasn’t just me, I wasn’t making something of nothing. Because it’s not just the actual sick bit, it’s the triggers, the mental toughness, the isolation, the misunderstanding.
I’ve found dh and dd both more appreciative of me now. Dh is grateful on the days I can manage dinner for him and dd, dd always comes and thanks me when I manage to make her bed as she appreciates it and knows I can’t always manage to.
Composed just try to remember you will be able to take dd again. This won’t last forever, despite how it feels like a lifetime.
I have a consultant apt tomorrow, this is a big one where we discuss the section in a few weeks. I’m so scared I’ll be met with ‘it depends on the day’ answers to everything. My community mw assures me this shouldn’t be the case as the consultant will have my history. I’ve been waiting to see a consultant about this since I was initially told they would help me with it 15 weeks ago! Supposedly the mh nurse will also be in on the apt but I’m not sure if she’ll be any use. She was very unwilling to help me at my apt with her a few months ago and said she couldn’t help with getting a plan in place for my section. Suddenly my mw speaks to her on the phone and she can.....but she takes more than 3 phone calls from my mw chasing her up about not arranging an apt, so I’m not holding my breath of her helping me fight my corner for things. I’ve got everything written down about the section to go through with the consultant which I hope is the best way so I don’t forget anything and we can work down the list. Things like usually you have to go to a group session before the section to find out about what happens during the section but it happens in the evening. Innthe evening I literally do nothing but lie in bed and feel very sick if I try to do anything (yesterday I tried to hoover my room in the evening. I managed half the room and then had to lie down with my eyes closed for an hour recovering) so I can’t see I’ll manage to attend, and if I do I’ll be so stressed about being out on an evening feeling sick that I won’t take it in. I’m asking for them to give me an individual session or to give me a phone call or leaflet with the info they would give. Things like this, I hope they will help me with.