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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

We've been trying for a baby but now I'm pregnant DP is freaking out!

94 replies

Hopelessandworried · 18/03/2019 08:56

Hi all,
My DP and I have been trying for a baby for about a year now.

I found out this morning I'm pregnant! I was so elated I ran straight to our bedroom to tell him and his first response was "Oh shit was will my parents say?!"

We are both in our late 20s and have been living together for 2 years.

He's now running around our flat like a headless chicken trying to work out how he's gonna tell his mum and dad and that they're gonna be so disappointed etc.

I feel like I've been stabbed in the chest.

It was his idea to start for a baby, I agreed with him but he suggested it. Now he's making it seem like we're a couple of 16 year olds who made a mistake.

Any advice on what I should do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
merdde · 18/03/2019 13:22

What about if you didn't want to tell his parents yet?! Fuck sake I'd be so so cross.

The least he should do is answer his sodding phone.

Singlenotsingle · 18/03/2019 13:22

All very strange. Why would she not be happy?

MynameisJune · 18/03/2019 13:24

Well I was going to say his reaction is quite normal. Both DH and I freaked out and both my pregnancies and both had been planned and wanted for a long time.

But rushing round to his parents to tell them straight away. And then texting you that they aren’t happy is strange. Why is he so bothered about his mum?

MynameisJune · 18/03/2019 13:25

Also did he miss work to go round to his parents house?

PCohle · 18/03/2019 13:26

What ATailofTwoKitties said.

He needs to come to his senses and be grovelling apologetic to you for how he has acted.

FrozenMargarita17 · 18/03/2019 13:26

Jesus is he married to his parents then?! What's it got to do with them, in the grand scheme of things?!

Also you can't be that far along and he's already told them - what if something goes wrong?!

merdde · 18/03/2019 13:26

I also wondered why he's not at work? Shift work or something?

LorelaiRoryEmily · 18/03/2019 13:28

Jesus I’d be furious that he went straight to his parents to tell them. You’ve only just found out. And who gives a flying fuck if his mother is happy?? Op I hope he realizes what a dick he is being and I hope you can forgive him.

Drogosnextwife · 18/03/2019 13:30

I would be sending him a text telling him to man the fuck up and stop clinging to the spring strings, then I would probably text his mother and tell her to stop putting a bloody downer on your exciting news which was her precious sons idea in the first place.

ButtMuncher · 18/03/2019 13:31

I'd actually be really fucking hurt - my ex had a bit of a freak out when I fell pregnant, but he didn't run to his parents, engage in telling them and let them be unhappy and argumentative and then say we'd talk when we get home leaving me adrift with worry. And my ex was an arsehole. I

I think he's behaved really badly to you. Freaking out is one thing, but immediately leaving the property and leaving you alone to worry about the reaction and then adding more fuel to the fire by bringing his parents into it is pretty shitty and I'm sorry Thanks

Ohhgreat · 18/03/2019 13:32

This with bells on
'You utter dick. What about whether I'm happy or not, rather than your bloody mother?'

gamerchick · 18/03/2019 13:33

Worra knob!

Send him a text telling him you'll see him when he's grown up a bit then get in touch with someone IRL for some support. You'll be reeling a bit ATM.

Good luck on the pregnancy Flowers

YouBumder · 18/03/2019 13:34

Jesus not very bright is he? “Couple having unprotected sex in pregnancy shocker!”

He’s probably just a bit overwhelmed and hopefully he’ll give himself a shake and be fine soon.

YouBumder · 18/03/2019 13:35

Oh and congratulations

Darkstar4855 · 18/03/2019 13:36

Sorry you are having to deal with this at what should be a happy and exciting time Flowers

Hanab · 18/03/2019 13:38

Hmm could be she hoped you 2 would not last or she knows something you don’t .. MN has made me very skeptacle

averythinline · 18/03/2019 13:38

Seriously he's gine to tell his parents -without chatting to you first....and you've only just found out......are you really late 20's sounds a complete child - Congratulations - hope he grows up a bit

Disfordarkchocolate · 18/03/2019 13:38

Congratulations, give him time to get used to the idea but a few choice words about telling his parents so early and being so bound up in their feelings need to be had.

Hanab · 18/03/2019 13:39

Congrats though OP .. our OH is a sorry excuse of a person who still seams to be tied to his moms apron strings ... enjoy this with or without him .. a child is a gift and should be treasured imho 🌷

MyGastIsFlabbered · 18/03/2019 13:39

What a prick. As someone whose ex was unhealthily close to his mother I sympathise.

Hanab · 18/03/2019 13:40
  • your OH 🙈 nothing to so with me!!!!
Hanab · 18/03/2019 13:40

Once again apologies for spelling errors .. I am upset for u 🌷

YouBumder · 18/03/2019 13:42

Don’t let him start on you with any shite either OP. At the end of the day it takes 2 to tango its hardly like you’ve done this on your own!

MMmomDD · 18/03/2019 13:48

This is why the traditional path of getting married first then having a child is there....
The commitment of marriage first is a step that is difficult, but not irreversible....
I am still totally at awe that people decide to have babies - which is a life-long attachment to another adult - that that decision is taken with greater ease than a decision to marry....

OP - I do hope he sticks around for this baby. And if he does - just don’t sacrifice your career and earning potential. Make sure it’s all shared.

NancyJoan · 18/03/2019 13:51

What?! How mad. Hope he comes home soon and tells you, properly, what his/their issue is.

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