Who was there at the birth?

[mommysharkdodo]

So getting closer to my due date me and my partner have been making a plan of action of when I go into labour giving different scenarios for example time of day where we are etc..

I am having my partner and my mum as my birthing partners but think I'd like it to just be me and my partner at the beginning then my mum to come more for support later when I get a little further along (obviously depending on circumstances of how my labour is)

My partner has said he thinks his mum and dad will head straight to the hospital once I'm in labour to wait along with his younger siblings and possibly his nana so they can see the baby as soon as it's born.

Now I know they're gunna be excited but I also know what I'm like when I'm poorly hating people around me so it's made me a little worried of how I will feel straight after giving birth so many people coming in to see the baby and talking to me.

Just would like to know other people's stories of who was at the hospital, did you make people wait a certain time after the baby was born to come in? How did you feel after giving birth about seeing people?

I'm just getting a little worried of the unknown and it's awkward as I'm a very private person and my family know that whereas my partner and his family are the complete opposite.

I had a really long labour and birth (AND 11 days over!) so was exhausted when he finally made his arrival!! I gave birth at 12:20pm with just my partner in the room and made everyone else wait til visiting hours at I think 6:30pm/7pm.

I think people have been watching too many episodes of the Kardashians. You and your birth partner. That's all. People come in small doses as you feel appropriate. If they want to be useful they can cook for you .

I had just my dp in with me and nobody else at all waiting at the hospital. I don't understand people wanting their mums there.

Nobody came anywhere near the hospital apart from my DH. He stayed with me the whole time and drove me and DS home. Five days later my parents came to visit us at home, and a week after that DH's parents came. Your baby, your house, your rules. It's pointless having an entourage hanging round on the day. The only person who NEEDS quality time with the baby in the first few days is you.

I had my DP there from the start (I went into hospital at 5am) but didnt contact my mum until they confirmed I was 4cm and would be staying in. She lives 2 hours away so I think she got there about 10am. She was great at first but like a PP she was more interested with updating my sister and the rest of the family and she actually facetimed my sister (without my permission and who had her drunk boyfriend there) hen I had just given birth at 10:15 ), I still had my legs in stirrups! At the time I was out of it but it makes me very angry now!! I didnt get onto the postnatal ward until about 4am the next morning and the hospital was very strict on visitors (only 2 in the room at any one time) so my FIL visited in the first visiting hour and my sister in the next - the rest waited until we were home!

I think you need to be clear that you will call other people to come and see the baby when you are ready. Having your mum can be helpful, explain to her you will call her when needed.
Knowing there is a waiting room full of people will put pressure on you.
Also in those first hours, it's you who should be holding your baby.
Good luck 💚

I split up with my ex when I was about 7/8 m8nths pregnant. It was awful. My mum was with me at home through contractions but both she and ex came to hospital with me. Was in labour a long time and ended up with an emergency c section. Mum was with me in surgery and was first-person to hold my boy who is 12 next week. Mum sadly passed away 5 years ago but was the best person by my side! Good luck xxx

I had only my DP there at my birth. It was very traumatic and ended in EMCS. After the section I was really unwell and couldn’t have faced any visitors at all. My DD was born at 6.30pm and my mum visited in the morning at 9 which was a huge help as she helped me shower and looked after the baby while I went for a chest X-ray too.
My grandparents then came to visit in the evening I asked them to come but honestly even with them who I love so much I felt so vulnerable

I am having my DH and DM as the two people you can gave for birthing partners/in the birthing centre/labour ward with you but intend for it just to be me and DH. Unless I start finding things really hard and want my mum for support.

I have told DH I do not want his family waiting in the hospital because it will just add pressure. They can visit in the hospital once we, and the staff, okay it.

I think DM thought she would be there for the whole thing and for cutting the cord etc so I felt a bit bad saying that I would like it just to be me and DH until we see how I am at the time, but we have waited for this baby for a long time and I want it to be about the 3 of us.

My family unbeknownst to me were waiting outside and came to see us when we were taken to the ward - they got to see my dd before I did in scbu.

Oh my goodness I would have gone mad. Like, asked them to leave mad.

Only DH with me and no one was told until after DS was born. I didn't want a room full of people waiting whilst I gave birth and I wanted the first few hours to be just me, DH and DS.

Just DW and me. I rang parents when baby was born (didn't tell them when DW went into labour). They didn't visit in hospital. Came to our house and few days later.

I don't believe in not letting them know that I am in labour, unless of course everything is going 100mph and the thought doesn't enter my head! As long as they know not to come until invited I'd like them to be updated on what's happening if possible, as long as that doesn't mean my partner being on his phone more than supporting me!

I have checked my hospital visiting times and rules so they wouldn't all be able to barge in when they want anyway!

I hate how unpredictable child birth is I like to have a plan for everything 🙈

My logic for not telling them was partly my mum is would have become a bag of nerves. Why have her sitting on nettles at home when there was nothing she could do?

Incidentally she woke at the moment I gave birth and couldn't get back to sleep.

Hmm, not sure why they need to know to be kept updated.
I'm not going to tell anyone until it's done! Don't want to worry anyone and especially if its in the night/small hours. There's no point worrying people and keeping them awake.

It's not that I feel they NEED to know, if it happens where we don't even get chance to tell them then I won't be bothered in the slightest, but I also don't feel the need to do it in secret as long as I'm confident that them knowing won't make any negative affects.

Both our families live no more than a 10 minute drive from the hospital so they know that if/when we say they can come they can be there in no time! So hopefully that will stop them from feeling the need to be there before invitation.

Birth is not a spectator sport. The purpose of the people or person in the room is to support you. You need one or maybe 2. The mother always chooses, as it is her who needs the support. Make all plans to take that into account, and don't tell people who will ignore your wishes. End of.

It isn’t a spectator sport and if you’re not comfortable they’ll just need to stay at home- especially if they are only 10 mins away. Camping out at the hospital seems utterly bonkers.

After a long labour and 3am delivery my husband and I were knackered and we conked out after they sorted my PPH. It was bad enough being woken up for hourly checks but I would have told any visitors to bugger off if they’d have expected to see me that evening. I also didn’t leave the delivery room until 9am the next morning so they wouldn’t have been able to come in anyway. If anyone had been crazy enough to turn up at the hospital when I went in they’d have been waiting from 8am on day1 until 3pm the next day before they’d have been allowed to visit and even then I wouldn’t have been ready for them.

@mommysharkdodo thats a lot of people ringing/ texting every 20 mins for an update

Just tell him that you don't want visitors straight away and you'd rather they weren't hanging around the hospital. Where does he think they would wait anyway? Also there are very strict waiting times in maternity departments. You could be in labour for ages who needs the kind of pressure of people hanging around waiting.