No one tells you that...

[letsdothis123]

Currently 35 weeks and am really feeling it. Pregnancy is SO HARD. Lol. I keep making myself chuckle about the funny but awful things that no one tells you.

I thought we could cheer each other up with our 'no one tells you that...'.

My start.

No one tells you that wiping your bum becomes an Olympic sport.

GO GO GO

Love all of these, can relate to a LOT of them at 36+3. Especially the heartburn and just generally not being able to move around great haha. Getting stuck in the bath is my speciality at the moment

These are so ace. Makes me feel much less alone.

To add...

No one tells you that no matter how exhausted you are, insomnia will keep you awake till 5am.

You'll get bum hole throbbing.

Your hips will make a funny crunching when walking.

If you eat carrot cake before bed, the heartburn will ensure it comes back up.

Your chances of maintaining a sex life is minimal.

Your nipples will burn BEYOND belief at points.

You'll wake up with red patches on your face.

When your husbands away and you smell his aftershave (on the bed sheets or ironing board) you'll cry.

You'll attack people in B&Q when they don't have the door handle you want.

Winning. Every day.

@December2018

That made me chuckle!!

But yeah I agree bath time is not the same but it's nice to lie back and say hello to those toes that you don't get to see anymore 😂

The nipple burn! I experience it as nipple freeze. If my nipples get cold then rather than just going hard like pre-pregnancy nipples, they will turn to stones which throb with cold long after the rest of you has warmed up.

Pissibg self while vomiting at side of road...more than once. Plus endless insomnia

To echo the OP, nobody tells you about the rage at strangers; hot burning rage apropos of nowt.

Nobody tells you that instead of taking it more in your stride each subsequent pregnancy can be harder, physically and mentally and that you can be more anxious for the 40 weeks than the last time/time before that etc.

I could write a book on this!

During pregnancy

• Towards the end, the smell of DH would make me gag it was so horrendous
• Skin tags
• Migraines
• Heartburn
• Morning sickness until 22 weeks...not just in the morning...oh no! All the time!! Then wetting yourself while vomiting
• Linea nigra (hadn’t even heard of it pre pregnancy)

-Not being able to walk more than 5 minutes without being in pain -Not being able to bend over to shave your legs or roll in bed -The smell from my water breaking was strangely like the smell of sperm -Snoring

• All my moles going darker
• Nipples larger

-One positive...less body and facial hair

Post pregnancy

• Permanently gone up 2 shoe sizes
• Boobs still droopy
• Moles still darker
• Still pissing myself when coughing or sneezing
• Still snoring
• DH still smells to me
• Hair grown back strangely around hairline so now have long bits of baby hair poking out

Fun times

Nobody told me how empty my body would feel after giving birth and how I would long to feel the kicks and movements inside again.

• That I would wet myself with every contraction during labour...I was prepared to poo, but not the weeing all over the floor!
• That my hair would go from an every-other-day to once a week wash - winner! Unfortunately back to normal now I'm no longer pregnant, but it really helped with the tiredness that I didn't have to go through the whole hair wash debacle on week nights.)

The skin tags!

Terrible terrible leg cramping (hence posting at 4:30 am )

Internal piles

Constant shitting (hence internal piles)

Constant trumping

Everybody stinks

Hairy belly

Swollen fanny

Dribbling on pillow

Having to crawl rather than walk up the stairs

Raging constant hunger

Oh and carpal tunnel!

Skin tags @eyesbiggerthanstomach

I look like a bag of unshelled peanuts I’ve got so many

Night sweats. I’m 12 weeks at present with dc2. And I am getting so hot at night time. I woke up at some ungodly hour last night threw the duvet off (am only wearing a vest top and pants to sleep in as hot!) and then was freezing cold. Ffs.

Yes to lots of these!

Skin tags - to comfort anyone who has a vast smattering of them like I did while pregnant - they might go away. Most of mine have (20 months on) despite the doctor telling me they probably wouldn’t.

Re the wetting yourself every time you threw up.... this was me. I was really sick for most of the pregnancy. I kept a sick bowl by the loo, if I got there in time I’d sit on the loo and vomit in the bowl - no wet knickers! If o managed to get there in time to do that I smugly felt that I was winning at life.

The tiredness. No one prepared me for just HOW tired I’d be in the first trimester.

The fact your belly button would stretch out to be flat.

Nipples so massive and dark they take over most of your boob area.

And yes the middle of the night leg cramps!!! Excruciating!

Pregnancy insomnia

The insomnia....omg it's killing me! Constipation, heartburn....

I do like not having to wash my hair for days on end and that my leg hair just isn't growing

I had pneumonia in November and wet myself every time I coughed enough was basically every 10 seconds. I was so miserable.

ooh I have a few. Currently 24 weeks pregnant with twins so I'm looking forward to some of the other symptoms other have posted

Raging Heartburn
Sweaty Armpits
Skin Tags
Raging Constipation
Trapped Wind
Hairy Tummy
Cramp in both Calves - at the same time. Screaming my head off whilst DH tries to massage it out. The dog looking at us like we're both nuts
A 6 week long cough that rendered me virtually incontinent. Never thought I'd fear a sneeze coming on as much as I currently do.
Feeling as though I'm absolutely desperate for a wee, and then a teeny tiny trickle comes out
Horrible vivid stupid dreams - I dreamt last night that a doctor handed me a baby girl and I asked where the other one was. Everyone looked at me like I'd gone mad and said I was only having one, the other one was all in my head

For the heartburn sufferers, Ranatidine has been a game changer. My consultant prescribed it and I take it as needed up to twice a day. Wish I hadn't wasted weeks trying to survive on rennie or stupid gross gaviscon. Get the good stuff!

Much relieved to hear others have hairy bellies, dry hair and that the skin tags might go away on their own

When SPD/PGP begins and you turn to walk in another direction but your leg/ hip doesn't automatically follow - the pain!!

The constant nose bleeds and going through the whole pregnancy with a choked nose.

The night insomnia - tossing and turning, feeling itchy, too hot/ cold, hating the feel of your favourite duvet against your skin, so tired you're close to tears all night - then easily able to fall asleep in the morning

A few days after giving birth, waking in the morning to find your legs have swollen to the size of 1000 year old treat trunks!! As pp said - "excess fluid has to go somewhere" 😯

Plus the shock that the SPD which put you in crutches right to the bitter end actually got horrifically worse for nearly a fortnight after giving birth, not better!! 😭

that you will get awful leg cramps in middle of the night and they actually worse than the pain of labour

that you get a lot more hairy, everywhere! I remember everyone being like "oooh yeah your hair will be so luscious and thick soon" - they failed to tell me that they meant hair all over my body not just my head!

the night sweats oh blimey! they are so worse this time around!

also, this time, total irrational grumpiness! blimey, i just feel like i am a stroppy teen all the time now!

Restless leg syndrome 😩😩😩

Nosebleeds! Had 2-3 nosebleeds every single day throughout the third trimester and became so paranoid about every tiny sniffly feeling in my nose. Also suffered a lot of constipation so being able to go was a cause for celebration.

Highlight of the pregnancy was getting a nosebleed while on the loo and having to decide which one was more urgent . Decided to keep on pooing while holding nose closed with loads of toilet paper.

@Pomfluff oh that's grim and hilarious all at the same time

Spd
Restless legs
Insomnia
Rage
Night sweats

39 weeks here - Get. This. Baby. Out.