Help me with witty come backs!

[Notanotherpawpatrol]

I'm about to tell friends and family I'm pregnant with baby number 5. I had all the shaming comments when I was pregnant with number 4, things like "have you worked out what causes it yet" and "was it planned?" etc. Every time I go out with the kids I get rude comments from people such as, "don't you have a TV?" and "you've for your hands full haven't you?" (it's the look that accompanies this one and always when my 1 year old is kicking off in the supermarket or my 4 year old is running wild. Never when they're all behaving beautifully... No one is around then!)
I want some really witty come backs that I can just throw back and walk away. I'm just so done with the judgement and shaming and it's not even started yet!
My dh is also going to get me a changing bag made that says "if you think TV is better, you're doing it wrong" I'm quite excited about that one 😂

I've just had my 5th, honestly I think everyone got it out of their systems when I had my 4th. Nobody really said anything when I was having my last. I did have a random stranger ask why I had so many, I just said when you find something you're good at you just go with it. Unfortunately he took that to mean the making babies but and not the looking after said babies.

I'd just bounce the question right back - sure, I have a tv, why do you ask? Nothing like being forced to say what they actually meant to make people feel like the embarassing twats they are.

Then again if I could come up with retorts like your dh... that's gold. 😂

"I make beautiful babies, why wouldn't I want more? :)"
Or the straight forward "well, we like having sex, and the consequences are pretty good" (save that for the grandparents)
If they say "you have your hands full!" Just stare silently into your hands with a confused look :D

You need to toughen up op.
I have double figures and nobody has known what to say for quite a while now!!

God said go forth and multiply...

So we did....

Oh yes this is our 5th... We intend to keep trying till we get twins..

Oh we have a trust fund, it pays us 5k a year per child....

Thanks all, I have a pretty thick skin, but I know some very judgemental people 🙈

We do have a tv - we just prefer sex 🤷‍♀️

"there was nothing good on telly that night"

"it was either this or a holiday this year"

"what's contraception?"

"the sex is obviously better where I'm getting it..."

"I decided to have another kid for every dumbass question I'm asked but I'm struggling to keep up"