AIBU at feeling upset for being bump-shamed at Xmas dinner?

[Monipop84]

I don't want to be a total snowflake, but I am feeling so sad/upset right now. I kept very active for the first trimester (trained for and ran a half marathon at 13 weeks!), then kept on going to the gym in the second trimester. True, on our babymoon to Belgium (end of 2nd trimester) I ate loads, and I might have had too many mince pies lately, but it's Christmas damn! So I was totally taken aback when both my mother and MIL kind of ganged up bump-shaming me on Xmas day. Mother: - Oh I looked like that when I was 9 months! - MIL: - Oh yes, I hadn't seen her for 2 weeks, I left her slim and found her back so fat! - (she actually said fat). I am only 5'1 and realistically there is no where for bump to go but out. Should I be concerned about my size? Already feeling quite down as I spent 3 days in hospital for a blood clot and having injections twice a day....

What?! That’s so rude!
I bet that if you had a small bump, they would be making you worry about That saying you were too small 🤦‍♀️
You eat those mince pies xxx

DM did this to me when I was pregnant... I got sick of it one day and just said "well there is a baby in there" she said she was joking so I said it's not funny I made me really self conscious because I'd just lost loads of weight then put it back on...
As long as your midwife has no concerns then I'd tell them to piss of

Sorry forgot to say, I am 25 weeks today!

Oh no, they sound awful, poor you. Of course you shouldn't worry about your size. It sounds like you're doing brilliantly keeping yourself active and that's the main thing (much better than I did with mine I should add!). Ignore them. Maybe they're actually jealous because you're managing to do so well?

Op if there was an issue the hospital would have addressed it while you were in

Sometimes people just say stuff for the sake of saying something

I’m sorry they were horrid & ganged up on you. Gaining weight while pregnant is normal & inevitable unless you are heavy for your height at conception. I don’t know how you can stop their comments hurting but it sounds as if you have done brilliantly by not getting annoyed with them & walking out.

It’s normal to get bigger when you’re pregnant, there is a baby growing in there!

Ignore the pair of them. I’m sure your midwife / doctor would say something if your weight was a concern.

Ignore them. I don't know why people think it's acceptable to comment on bumps like it is "fat". Clearly it's not - there's a baby in there!

Different people "pop" at different times and it can happen very quickly. Baby's position, the clothes you're wearing can also make a difference in how the bump looks from one day to the next.

Just tell them to do one next time. Or comment back on their weight and see how they like it.

For some reason older women tended to feel the need to tell me (probably completed fabricated) stories of their pregnancies and how bloody wonderful they all were to make me feel like shit. In reality i bet they also puked their guts up, put on weight etc. I put on 2st whilst pregnant and I'm only 5ft 4. Your 25 weeks pregnant so your body is going to change. Tell them to shut up next time!

Ignore it. You are going to need a thick skin with those two as grandmas so you may as well start developing it now! Laugh it off.

Pregnancy seems to give people a license to make all sorts of comments about women's bodies people would not otherwise say. When I went to get a flu jab, a nurse commented on how small my bump looked. I was measuring normal, but I found this really stressful. I think you have every right to be upset about those comments, and if I was you so would let your MIL and Mother now how you feel.

I found when l was pg that when people had no chat, they would divert to bump size chat- also short at 5" so was completely all bump- but only from the side- so would actually get random people saying things- 'you are hhhuuuuggge' 'so massive' meh- you are growing a human- ignore the numpties!!

Honey, IGNORE THESE TWATS!

At your height, I bet you've suddenly properly popped. I'm 23 weeks and just popped. I'm really tall, but I still look like I've swallowed a beach ball all of a sudden. Someone called me "chubs" the other day and I told them to fucking like it, then ate another crumpet.

Christmas and one holiday won't make you fat. You're blooming. And staying active and fit, so just laugh it off and compliment them on their wonderfully supportive natures. "What charming grandmas you'll both be if this is your attitude".

I am 5"1'.
Like you, literally I had nowhere in terms of body length for the baby to go! You sound fit and healthy. Put their comments in the "they are mad and have forgotten box" and move on.

Mean - just smile and have another mince pie . Then tell them their personal comments on your size / apparent weight gain are unkind and hurtful . I’m guessing you’re especially tuned into comments like this as a normally slim runner . It will all spring back to normal after the baby in time

How horrible of them. You're so lucky to have been able to stay active - I've had SPD since about 12 weeks and am extremely limited in what I can do, and I feel so unfit and isolated because of it.

You're growing a human, your bump will grow because your baby is growing. That's a good thing. Mine got noticeably bigger each week from about 22 weeks onwards, and I started to look bigger in the face and hips at around the same time. I hadn't been eating any more, I had terrible heartburn! It's just normal, your body is storing fat for breastfeeding.

The hospital would have said if there was a concern about your size.

There were a few people who did this to me at work. One day I snapped and bit one of their heads off... it stopped. It's ok to bite back, sometimes, and it sounds like they deserve it!

I do think though that some people are just chronically insensitive about the possible effect of bump size comments. The only acceptable bump comment, imo, is a general none size referencing comment on its lovliness, followed by a change of subject or at least a move to how the pregnant woman you're talking to is feeling, like they're an actual human being who matters!

1. I'm incredibly impressed that you managed to do that kind of exercise whilst being pregnant. I have managed to walk the dog.....

1. Ignore them completely! I'm 34 weeks and very bump heavy my dad said to me oh you've reached the whale stage

1. Everyones bodies are different in how they carry, mine is a huge bump out the front, my friend has a small bump as she's pretty tall and baby is far back (she gets comments about being too small) etc

1. Tip would be to come up with a one line response which actually embarrasses people as for some reason people think it's OK to discuss it with you so it's just going to increase.

Mine is yep I'm a whale Japan have me on their hunt list..... People's reaction to this is usually to go red, start apologising and then never mention my bump size again.

You poor thing, that's so mean. To actually say the word fat is downright rude and you'd be well within your rights to bite back.
You've done so well to be so active, I spent the first 14wks with my first in bed or on the sofa!
At about 25wks I definitely popped too. Fil had a habit of exclaiming how huge I was before he even said hello. My stock response was always 'yes well, there is a growing baby in there' along with a bit of an eye roll. What's wrong with saying you look well/glowing/what a beautiful bump
Let it be known its not on OP. You've another 15wks to go so nip it in the bud!

There are some women of a certain generation that seem to do this sort of thing

MIL is like this - she’s just fucking rude IMO. I now see her comments as just her lacking social graces and feel sorry for her. She is in no way accurate or correct. So just reframe how you think about their inane comments.

I think people forgot how enormous bumps can get towards the end of pregnancy. I've met people who I thought must be 9 months, only to find out they are only 6 or 7 months. But in any case, they sound exceptionally rude.

Try to keep some perspective. This is a really trivial thing to get upset about. Save the drama for a real problem.

I'm 5ft 1' and put on almost 3 stone during my pregnancy and got all the 'you're huge' ' you're about to pop' comments.
Ignore them and nothing at all to worry about aslong as your midwife is happy.

@Monipop84 that's not on. If it's mentioned again then call them out on it. Or have a nice big rant about how people shouldn't body shame pregnant women as there is enough worry around pregnancy without people putting doubt in your brain. Your midwife will measure your bump and plot it on a graph. She is the person who will tell you if there is an issue with size. No one else. My bump hugely fluctuated in size. It's normal. Try to ignore them and enjoy your pregnancy. This bit is the good bit!