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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

And so it begins. The I hope it’s a girl comments..

61 replies

Fundays12 · 04/12/2018 22:19

Just having a rant here really I have 2 darling sons both very much loved and wanted. We absolutely adore them and when pregnant with ds2 I had almost hoped for a second boy as my oldest was desperate for a brother.

During both pregnancies we had some not nice comments made about the fact they were boys not girls (hubbys family actively favour girls very sad). Anyway I am now pregnant again which was a lovely surprise and the comments about I hope it’s a girl have already started .. We are just hoping it’s healthy especially after nearly losing Ds2. Honestly I get parents to be can suffer gender disappointment but we have never so for other people to be disappointed in our unborn baby because its not the sex of child they wanted it or assumed we wanted beggars belief. It’s downright rude and inconsiderate.. ... now it’s time to get my thinking hat on to give cheeky answers

OP posts:

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FoxgloveStar · 04/12/2018 23:27

A simple “why?” followed by a silent stare?

lolacola13 · 05/12/2018 00:39

I had the delight of my darling mother not text back when I said it was a boy then when I rang her she said oh I got ur text I was just disappointed that's all.. and I have a daughter and a son! It never ends! Grrrr

DramaAlpaca · 05/12/2018 00:43

I agree with Foxglove. A raised eyebrow & a simple 'why?' worked well to shut down comments like that. And yes, I had a third lovely boy

Jasperoonicle · 05/12/2018 00:49

I seriously do not get it. I have boys and would be have actually disappointed to have a girl. My boys have sisters thanks to their father and his new wife and other people actually have asked me if I am jealous of her because she has daughters!! It is crazy. I would, and have, given the stink eye about such a comment in the past. Just look at them like they are nothing because with such closed mindedness, they really are NOTHING. The cheek of anyone being saddened by someone elses baby gender!!!!

CarrieBlu · 05/12/2018 00:55

We have all girls and get the “well...let’s hope there’s a boy one day to continue the family name!” comments from the IL’s. I just ignore them. We didn’t mind whether we had boys or girls, we just feel lucky that we’ve had our lovely children. Other people can just piss off.

CarrieBlu · 05/12/2018 00:57

Congratulations on your pregnancy btw OP!

jessstan2 · 05/12/2018 00:58

I'd tell them straight that it is rude to say things like that. Because it is. It's thoughtless too. If they stopped to think about it, they wouldn't say it.

Congratulations btw. Hope you have a boy or girl.

Armchairanarchist · 05/12/2018 01:00

I got sick of this when pregnant with our third child after two DSs. We struggled to conceive DS2 and I had a nightmare pregnancy, having a healthy child was all that mattered. I enjoyed the dynamic of being the only female in the home. DC3 is a girl and although I wasn't disappointed, I was definitely not as pleased as people insisted I should be.

brookshelley · 05/12/2018 01:36

They do the same if you have all girls, as we do. Don't take it personally. People are stupid. I've had quite a few "but doesn't your husband want a boy" comments.

Original poster

Fundays12 · 05/12/2018 03:23

Omg lolcola13 that’s awful I can’t believe your mum did that. My family haven’t commented much except one said a girl would be nice but so would a boy.... People really are rude and thoughtless.

Lol why followed by a long pause it’s so simple I never actually thought to do that.

I am sure people do get it both ways but I don’t know if my friends with all girls just get it less as they have never has half the comments I have. They have been shocked at what family have said going right back to ds1 when I was told I was disappointed he was a boy by one of hubbys family 😡

OP posts:

MakeAWhish · 05/12/2018 03:28

God, people are dicks. I'm expecting DC3 and I already have 2 DD's. I'll be thrilled with either a boy or a girl, but am fully expecting people to assume (pregnancy not widely known about, only 6w along) we want a boy. I actually hope we don't so that we don't get the 'oh you must be so pleased to have a boy!' Comments. Twats.

KandoKat · 05/12/2018 03:30

I've had this, but the other way as have 4dds. Bloody rude and annoying!

TheDowagerCuntess · 05/12/2018 03:42

I have boys and would be have actually disappointed to have a girl.

These threads always go the same way, flipping over into dissing girls and being disappointed to have a girl.

helloooomeee · 05/12/2018 03:43

I have 2 ds's and am pregnant with twins. We found out at our 20 week scan that we have 2 more ds's on the way. I'm over the moon but have had a lot of comments from others saying how disappointed I must be why? because I'm being blessed with 2 more healthy children?! People are dicks!!

Original poster

Fundays12 · 05/12/2018 03:53

It really is plus I worry hoe it will make my oldest son feel as he will understand all the comments. Lol the ironic thing is I actually suspect it’s s girl as with my last 2 pregnancies I suffered terribly with hypermesis gravidurm and lost crazy amounts of weight. I also had it with a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage (boy again). This was always from 5 days before the pregnancy test was positive. This pregnancy I feel great, no sickness and very little nausea plus I swear my bum is expanding by the day 😂. Not that I will be sharing that with people as they will then tell me I am hoping for a girl 🤔

OP posts:

fieryginger · 05/12/2018 04:13

I've had both but I think same sex siblings are lovely, either sex. I have 4 sisters and 1 brother and, occasionally, my brother will say "oh why couldn't one of you have been a boy!". He says it tongue in cheek, but I think there's a truth behind it.

Congrats!

Dreamingofkfc · 05/12/2018 06:22

3 boys here. We are thrilled. So many people do the head tilt and say '3 boys? oh that's a shame' ......it's so irritating!

BertrandRussell · 05/12/2018 06:27

People just say random stuff. And if you have two of one they are bound to say "Fun if you have a boy/girl next time"Smile and wave. Smile and wave.

DartmoorDoughnut · 05/12/2018 06:38

People are twats

SoyDora · 05/12/2018 06:44

Honestly people with girls do get it too. I have 2 girls and am pregnant with my third. For the first couple of months I got ‘trying for a boy are we?’ And ‘I bet you’re desperate for a boy’. When we found out it is a boy all we’ve had is ‘I bet you’re so relieved’ and ‘I bet your DH is over the moon’ (wtf?!).
It’s reallt bloody annoying.

RollerJed · 05/12/2018 06:50

Jasperoonicle you'd be disappointed to have girls eh? Lovely.

OP lots of people think one of each is 'perfect'. I got the 'are you hoping for a son'
comments when pregnant after dd1. As it turned out I was not and was bloody delighted to meet dd2

BirthdayKake · 05/12/2018 07:03

I had a boy and then a girl. "Perfect".

Then another girl, then another girl...

I'm now pregnant again and couldn't care less what sex it is, especially as it's my first baby with my DH. But I can almost guarantee we'll get the "oh my god, you're going to have your work cut out when they're teenagers!" comments if it's another girl

EverythingNow · 05/12/2018 08:31

Yup three girls here and pregnant with dc4 when I fell pregnant with the 3rd I got bet you're hoping for a boy. Found out she was a girl and got are you trying for a boy?, your poor husbands outnumbered and you'll have your hands full when theyre all teenagers!

I have never ever had anyone say 3 girls how wonderful or anything like that! In fact my paternal grandmother doesnt bother speaking to my girls because they are girls, she adores my male cousins but actively ignores the female ones and me. She is also really interested in my siblings two sons compared to my girls some people are just rude and odd!

I do think the 'ideal' is one of each for a lot of people. At the end of the day they are just children!

whiteonesugar · 05/12/2018 08:49

Ugh some people. We have lots of boys in our family, my MIL actually said the other day ‘oh i think you’re having a girl, we need a girl now!’ Which is almost saying she would be disappointed if it was a boy. I dont give a shit what genitalia my child has. I have had 5 miscarriages, just getting a baby at the end would be lovely thanks!

mumofmunchkin · 05/12/2018 08:57

I hate this.

I have two boys. Pregnant with my third - we know it's another boy but haven't told anyone else - the number of comments I've had is ridiculous and really winds me up. I have a colleague at work who has been doing it alllll pregnancy (I'm 35 weeks now), continually deliberately referring to my bump as "she" etc etc. One of my Mum's friends actually jumped up and down in front of me with her fingers crossed saying "girl, girl, girl!".

I really don't get it to be honest - it makes no difference to their life whether it's a boy or a girl, and if they are imagining that I would be disappointed with another boy (like I could be disappointed in my baby) then... I just don't get it.

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