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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

And so it begins. The I hope it’s a girl comments..

61 replies

Fundays12 · 04/12/2018 22:19

Just having a rant here really I have 2 darling sons both very much loved and wanted. We absolutely adore them and when pregnant with ds2 I had almost hoped for a second boy as my oldest was desperate for a brother.

During both pregnancies we had some not nice comments made about the fact they were boys not girls (hubbys family actively favour girls very sad). Anyway I am now pregnant again which was a lovely surprise and the comments about I hope it’s a girl have already started Confused.. We are just hoping it’s healthy especially after nearly losing Ds2. Honestly I get parents to be can suffer gender disappointment but we have never so for other people to be disappointed in our unborn baby because its not the sex of child they wanted it or assumed we wanted beggars belief. It’s downright rude and inconsiderate.. Angry... now it’s time to get my thinking hat on to give cheeky answers

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Fundays12 · 05/12/2018 19:40

TheDowager you have totally misunderstood that or maybe I wasn’t clear enough.

I meant me and hubby were not being overly careful with contraception so knowingly took the risk that I would fall pregnant. We would never have taken risks with contraception if either of us had even the slightest preference towards having a girl. As to us if you will feel disappointed in a child purely because of its sex you should be ensuring you do your best to prevent a pregnancy. That’s just a personal view we both share.

We had thought about having another baby but were not actively trying yet. The risk we took was purely with not using contraception every time. We never even really considered what sex the child would be until we started getting unwelcome comments from others.

We are just delighted and exceptionally thankful to be having another baby.

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TheDowagerCuntess · 05/12/2018 19:53

OK fair enough - it was just the 'took the risk of knowing another baby maybe a boy' comment that seemed to be an unnecessary add-on.

Stormwhale · 05/12/2018 20:01

I am pregnant with dc2, I already have a dd. People assume I want a boy this time. I don't. I want a baby. I want a squishy cute little new born to snuggle. I want to see my dd bond with her sibling. I want to experience all those firsts with a child again and watch them grow into a little person. None of these things are dependent on them having a particular set of genitals. Perhaps remind people of this when they make their stupid comments.

Lookingforadvice123 · 05/12/2018 20:17

Excellently put Stormwhale. I'm pregnant with my second son and luckily have only had a very small number of comments, which I think/hope reflects that my family and friends are actually moving with the times and away from gender stereotypes.

Fundays12 · 05/12/2018 20:17

TheDowagerCuntess I am very tired today and not feeling well at all so o haven’t written it as well as I shoulda have.

Stormwhale that’s how I feel. I love watching my boys grow and can’t wait to cuddle my newborn.

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Monipop84 · 06/12/2018 07:26

I can totally relate. My own mother was a bit annoyed when I told her that the baby is a girl (after an earlier ultrasound had suggested boy). She didn't say anything direct, just commented: "Ah, it will be worse for you when she becomes a teenager...."

We are over the moon and don't care what strangers say one way or the other. Angry

mollysmammy · 06/12/2018 11:56

My ex partner was desperate for a boy (he had a Daughter from a previous relationship). I would have been happy with either, BUT, I think deep down I wanted a little girl, as they would have bonded more easily (I'm probably wrong about this!) when he heard the baby was a girl I knew he was disappointed (gender disappointment affects both parents, either way, not just the mother). He now has a boy (with his new wife), and they have a very close bond. DD doesn't even get a Birthday card (we were together for four years). It makes me wonder if it would have been different if she had been a boy (the relationship was over, but his attitude toward his child...) he'd talked about a son to have a 'kick about with' that day was full of emotions. His obvious disappointment, me feeling though I'd somehow robbed him of a son, whilst imagining all the things me and my Daughter would do... I remember a friend of mine wanted a girl after four boys and it just never happening, what made it worse is everyone saying 'this time it's got to be a girl' she raised four lovely sons who are all so close ☺️

Heatherjayne1972 · 06/12/2018 16:17

People are just thoughtless
I had a boss once who proudly told people that he’d ‘done it right’ by having a boy first and then a girl
17 year old me didn’t know there was a ‘right way’ to have babies
As long as they are healthy who cares

LadyRochfordsFrostedGusset · 06/12/2018 16:22

That's a curious one Heather, my elder DD and younger DS are close. I wonder what the theory is there?

And DS isn't into football in the slightest, bores him, but an old friend's DD is semi-professional now in a female football team.

IdblowJonSnow · 06/12/2018 16:27

I think people are just a bit daft and thoughtless aren't they. The few people I know who've had 3 kids happened to have all boys. Both families were fairly keen to have a girl but obviously didn't give a monkeys when they actually both had third boys. I think people can have a nice to have 'one of each mentality but it doesn't actually mean anything. I'd ignore.

presentcontinuous · 06/12/2018 16:55

XH's entire family was disappointed when DC2 turned out to be a DD2. In their family, they only ever alternate. And always starting with a boy, so I even got that wrong!

And when I was pg with DC3, his grandmother told me to "make sure this one has a little tap" (I assumed she meant a penis).

It was almost a shame he turned out to be a boy.

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