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Pregnancy

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Original poster

breastfeeding in public

88 replies

kittenbaby · 21/06/2007 08:59

hi girls
ive just been thinking about breastfeeding and i think its something i want to do well at least give it my best shot
do you know what puts me off though the fact its not our legal right to do it in public
which i think is outrageous
i think it must be horrible to do it in public and be told off
or to leave wherever you are
im shocked by the amount of people that think its disgusting !!

and have to put up with comments and stares
how do you go about dealing with this?
do you have any hints and tips?
or even better quick one liners to say to rude people? be good to have a quick answer to fire back at anyone that wants to have a go !!
im not very good at thinking of something quick to say at the time,then i always think afterwards ....why didnt i say such and such !!
im shocked by the amount of people that think its disgusting !!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Dogsby · 21/06/2007 08:59

well anyoen who does itnormally you cnat even see any boob

well you oculdnt with me

EffiePerine · 21/06/2007 09:01

I have never had any comments, stares or problems. Most people will not notice. If you're worried, start off with 'friendly' environements - mums groups, Starbucks, bf meetings, then spread out

Still feeding DS at 8.5 months and will now feed him anywhere.

FrannyandZooey · 21/06/2007 09:01

kitten I bf for nearly 4 years, often in public and no-one EVER made a comment to me or asked me to move or anything like that

I think these cases are shocking and dreadful but luckily not the norm

beansprout · 21/06/2007 09:01

I really braced myself when I used to feed ds but have never had any comments and that goes for the majority of people on MN too.

Don't worry! Some people will always have mad views, you just go ahead and look after your baby.

FrannyandZooey · 21/06/2007 09:02

and cod you know I've explained to you before, if you are breastfeeding an older baby you cannot help showing some breast - they wriggle and pull your clothes

it isn't normal to show nothing and odd to show something - it just depends whether you are feeding a tiny baby or an older one, often

beansprout · 21/06/2007 09:03

Personally, I wouldn't want to see cod's breasts.

EffiePerine · 21/06/2007 09:04

good point, now DS is older it is more obvious (but I am more oblivious so it works out)

EffiePerine · 21/06/2007 09:04

My breasts are miraculous and I count anyone lucky who gets to see them

bookthief · 21/06/2007 09:05

Don't worry about it too much. The worry of being "told off" is far more likely to limit you going out and feeding your baby at your convenience than the reality that no-one will notice or care.

JodieG1 · 21/06/2007 09:06

I've never had stares or comments. I bf 5 month old ds2 in the middle of a busy Clarkes store at the weekend

bozza · 21/06/2007 09:06

kittenbaby please don't worry, I breastfed both my children for several months, and particularly with the second, I fed her lots in public and never once did I get told off or asked to move or anything like that.

FrannyandZooey · 21/06/2007 09:07

The only time mine are worth looking at was while breastfeeding

I am buggered if I wasn't going to flash them about a bit

Freckle · 21/06/2007 09:08

I breastfed all three of mine in public and in some rather bizarre places. I was never asked to stop or to move (and wouldn't have done had I been asked).

Most women who breastfeed do it so discreetly that most other people are totally unaware that it is happening. Often it just looks like the mother is cuddling a sleeping baby.

I would really not worry about that aspect. Enjoy breastfeeding your baby and the "b/f in public" bit will just happen.

bozza · 21/06/2007 09:09

I think there was a thread once about places mumsnetters had breastfed and there was quite a range and variety. I found it much easier to go to a cafe or just a bench in the middle of the shopping centre having sorted DS out with a snack and drink beforehand. Being stuck in a feeding room is not much fun for a toddler but having a drink and snack and watching the people go by is much better. And when I went out with her on my own, it was lovely to go into a cafe and get a drink and cake and maybe even magazine while she fed.

I fed in pubs, restaurants, children's play places, shopping centres, beaches, parks, museums etc. Although it was a gradual thing as I got more confident IYSWIM.

EffiePerine · 21/06/2007 09:12

Would really recommend Starbucks for your first time if you have a local one - changing facilities and comfy chairs and LOTS of bfing mothers.

fillyjonk · 21/06/2007 09:13

kitten, i think very few women have actually had bad experiences like this.

Those who DO have problems-and they are a minority-get it mainly from family and friends, I think. And thats something you'll probably know about ahead of time and can perhaps sort if need be.

A lot of things aren't legal. Its not your "legal right" to go into a shop and expect to be served, tbh. I'm pretty sure you could be asked to leave for being a woman, and it wouldn't be illegal (have a feeling there is a law change afoot here though?). The fact is you aren't.

I agree it should be illegal to disciminate against breastfeeders, but don't worry overmuch about it not being illegal to. I think a law change would help general attitudes, thats all.

fillyjonk · 21/06/2007 09:14

ps i fed ds in the UN building in geneva without incident

the tour guide stopped the whole tour for me and everything.

Chirpygirl · 21/06/2007 09:16

I would second Starbucks, they are very breastfeeding friendly, I always got offered a glass of water in mine while I was feeding.
Also no-one ever said anything to me but one man complained loudly to the manager of a cafe I was BFing in asking that I be removed, and he was asked to leave!

I would just pick where you feed, so not in the middle of a shopping centre in a prominent bench (teens and older generation are more likely to comment), but rather a nice cafe or coffee shop. I have also BF on a very busy commuter train and had to ask a loud businessman to move so I could sit down next to his colleagues to feed, and they all starting 'aahing' and saying how nice it was I was feeding her and not worried....

fruittea · 21/06/2007 09:19

I found that a muslin square draped over the "other" shoulder helped with discretion where it was necessary - covered up any gaping bits! Also that tops that lifted up, rather than opened up shirt-style, were easier from that point of view.

fillyjonk · 21/06/2007 09:23

tbh though-

don't worry too much about discretion! Just get on with it.

NO ONE LOOKS

no one really cares, tbh.

Just don't WORRY.

fillyjonk · 21/06/2007 09:26

look-lots of us haven't had problems

(I am hoping that more people will add their names, btw)

midnightexpress · 21/06/2007 09:26

Move to Scotland, kitten. We are much more sensible about that sort of thing up here and you are legally entitled to bf wherever you darn well please.

katelyle · 21/06/2007 09:28

I breastfed mine everywhere and anywhere! I was actually hoping to be challenged because I felt very confident about it and wanted my chance to tell an "anti" what I thought of them, but I never was! Twice I thought I was going to get my chance - I was in a crowded very uncomfortable train and it wasn't easy, dispite the best and kindly efforts of people to give me room and the guard approached me "Here we go" I thought. "Where's your bag?"he said "Come with me" and he established me in an empty first class compartment then brought me a cup of tea! Istayed happily in the compartment all the way to Edinburgh, and was brought several more cups of tea! Another time in Waterstones cafe a very old retired colonel type came up and barked "Well done, my dear. Good to see some sensible child raising going
on!"
Those were the only comments in a total of 3 years public bf. And I don't think I ever got anything but kindly glances either unless I was very insensitive! Go for it - it'll be fine!

fillyjonk · 21/06/2007 09:31

yes this is the thing

people are BASCIALLY nice, and they are polite

I am actually quite to think that anyone is worried about this. becuase you'd have to be really unlucky to get comments from strangers, tbh. I've bf for at least 3 years in total and have had NOTHING bad, LOTS of positive comments

katelyle · 21/06/2007 09:31

The other thing to remember is that once you get good at it, you can latch a hungry baby on in five seconds flat that there is nothing to see. People probably won't even notice you're doing it. Mind you, they noticed me once when I was feeding one handed in the queue at Sainsburys while packing my shopping with the other hand!

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