breastfeeding in public

[kittenbaby]

hi girls
ive just been thinking about breastfeeding and i think its something i want to do well at least give it my best shot
do you know what puts me off though the fact its not our legal right to do it in public
which i think is outrageous
i think it must be horrible to do it in public and be told off
or to leave wherever you are
im shocked by the amount of people that think its disgusting !!

and have to put up with comments and stares
how do you go about dealing with this?
do you have any hints and tips?
or even better quick one liners to say to rude people? be good to have a quick answer to fire back at anyone that wants to have a go !!
im not very good at thinking of something quick to say at the time,then i always think afterwards ....why didnt i say such and such !!
im shocked by the amount of people that think its disgusting !!

I'm scared of B/F full stop!!!

to be honest, no-one has ever tutted or complained (well - they might have but I didn't notice!)

In some ways, I wish they would so I can trty out some of the lines I've picked up on MN

Don't worry about older people ? I was a bit nervous about feeding in front of my MIL and her friend but friend noticed and reassured me, saying 'don't worry, we are both mothers, it's perfectly normal and the best thing for this gorgeous little boy'. Which was very sweet of her (they are both in their 70s).

RGP, I was scared too before I fed DS1, but when it came to it, it felt really "right". Somehow I didn't even think about it, when he was born the first thing I did was put him to my chest, and off he went. I have never felt so needed.

RGP, thats fine if you are scared, I've always said that whatever you decide to do is the right thing for you and your baby. But am intrigued, what is it that scares you?

Bananabump, the ring sling sounds like a good idea if you are nervous. Anything that helps to boost your confidence is a good investment.

I never had any problems bfing in public. I found being a bit discreet helped and once DD had got the hang of feeding, we would feed anywhere (park, bowling alley, church, train, cafe, restaurant,...)

Make yourself go public early on so you get used to it; you'll be glad you did because it gives you so much more freedom.

Hmmm perhaps scared wasn't the right term. What i mean is that i view boobs as a sexual object and therefore the thought of having a baby sucking on them just feels..... wrong to me, IYSWIM.

RGP what do you think breasts are for?

Funbags

Are you male?

Erm... no!! I surely must not be the only woman on this planet who is not comfortable about BF?

No, I'm sure you aren't, but I don't know many women who view breasts as purely sexual and refer to them as "funbags"

FrannyandZooey - i was actually joking by referring to them as funbags - hence the wink at the end of my post. [rolls eyes]

SWC - I will of course give it a go, because i do feel i must give my baby the best start, even it if means expressing and feeding with a bottle.

Yes SWC. With DS1 i expressed in the hospital as he was in SCBU for 2 weeks and they had this enormous big industrial type milker thing. It was great for expressing but i did feel rather like i was a cow!!

I BF DD until she was 16months & I was never asked to leave anywhere - In fact I got quite a few comments from older women that it was "lovely" to see someone b/fing.

In fact it always seems to be older women, they all have an opinion, either "it's lovely" or disapproving stares....

Once I overheard one saying I should be doing it in the loo (lsaid loud enough for me to intentionally hear). So I said to the dear old bag "why don't YOU go & sit & eat YOUR lunch in the loo, that way you won't be able to see us" - she blushed & turned away & never said another word! The cafe owner (who I know quite well) whispered "good for you" next time she passed!

Mostly it is just occasionaly stares, I normally say (patting the seat next to me & with a lovely smile) "would you like to come & sit here so you can have a better look at my daughter eating her lunch?" - they tend to stop staring then!

Don't let them put you off from doing what is totally natural & best for your baby (and I say this as someone who never though she'd b/f in public, & in the end I was whipping them out anywhere!!)

RG are you expecting your first child? I do kind of understand how you feel, if you are talking about your OWN feelings. I felt a little like that, I couldn't work out how something that had previously basically been a sexual object for me could be used to feed a baby without it being deeply strange. I do think these feelings are rather common really.

But it DOES work out. I don't get how, but it DOES. Initially you just switch into baby mode anyway (sorry, but you do, all libido reduced to nil for a bit anyway).

All I am saying is, if that is all thats stopping you, it is well worth giving it a go.

RPG, never really had the "they are only for sex" thingy even though its usually my favourite hobby.

What I did experience though was an overwhelming urge to do the best for my baby once he was born and a complete lack of sexiness.

If you feel like your boobs are still there for sex and you are really up for it after having a couple of weeks of sleep deprivation and looking after a new baby then you will be a very rare woman indeed!

ive jsut been reading the good comments
on th link by fillyjonk
about people being nice about bf
sounds like most people are nice about it xx

When DS was born, I was shy about BF anywhere and at first only breastfed in private. Went to town one Saturday morning and he got hungry unexpectedly early and I had not choice but to feed him on a bench. TBH it was easier (and more discreet) than I ever imagined and after that, I breastfed everywhere and anywhere both in Malta and on holiday in UK without any problems or comments.

In truth breastfeeding in public is actually easier and more practical than bottle feeding in public (I stopped breastfeeding DT's very early on).

Fillyjonk - No i'm expecting my second child but as DS1 was born nearly 3 weeks early and with meningitis, he very poorly in SCBU for the first two weeks of his life, being fed by a tube. He found it very hard to suck so i think BF was out of the question really, even tho they did try him out on me but to no avail. I do feel therefore that this will be my first time at trying to BF as i dont know what it's like to actually do it! Oh and yes, i am purely talking about MY feelings, not how i feel about others BF their babies. I'm all for it, but do get a bit embarrassed if i see someone BF in public, but probably because i've never done it myself, IYSWIM.

mum2george - obviously i know i'm not going to be up for it after being up all night with a crying baby etc, but that doesn't stop me thinking of my boobs as sexual, past, present or future!

I am probably stressing over nothing and will (hopefully) get on ok with it when this one arrives. I have to give it a go, mostly because i want to, but also due to pressure i'm feelng from MIL too.

Sorry for the waffle!!

Thread hijack alert - Maltesemum, I grew up in Malta - what area do you live in? We lived near a tiny village called Mgarr, but that was so long ago it's probably not a tiny village any more!

OP - feed your baby where and whenever you like. i think sometimes my problem is i look for stares and problems when there aren't any, IYSWIM most of the people i know have never had a problem, and the worst comment i had (when ds was very young, unfortunately) was from a man who almost certainly had learning difficulties.

you will be doing a wonderful, natural, miraculous thing by bf-ing your baby, and don't ever let anyone tell you different. if anyone looks like they're staring at you, smile winningly at them (usually works for me!)

congratulations on your pregnancy and hope bf-ing works well for you

ps: there is some brilliant advice out there on the breastfeeding topic, so if you do run into difficulties, make sure you come and ask for help!