Mother in law doesn’t want us to tell the family we are pregnant

[Julia124]

So we told our mother in law last week that we are expecting, I had my 12 week scan that day and we told her straight after. He reaction was to cry and cry and say that we wouldn’t be able to do it etc. Which I’m still pretty hurt by. A week on she’s asked us not to announce the pregnancy to the rest of his family until she’s had times to come to terms with it. I don’t know if it’s just pregnancy hormones but I’m so annoyed about it. It’s our first child and I’m excited and want to be able to discuss it but she wants us to stay silent. Am I overreacting? Should we be giving her more time to adjust until we tell other people?

Hmmm there's clearly a reason she thinks you can't do this. She must have elaborated.

That's teddy was meant to be flowers... Emojis obv arnt working properly still.

So she thinks you're both too young, not been together long enough and should be married first?

Tell everyone you want to! Congratulations

Congratulations.

It’s really poor of her to shit all over your news. Is she usually as dramatic? You may need to establish very clear boundaries with her, starting with the fact that you are adults whom may tell anyone you wish of your news. Her coming to terms is her issue, there may be a good reason she’d deserve sympathy, like PP have suggested a loss maybe but that still shouldn’t impact on you sharing your news.

Congratulations how exciting!!

Ignore her! It’s your news to share with who you wish when you feel the time is right so if that’s now then so be it. Nothing to do with her xx

Put an announcement on social media and tag MIL in it!

She may have reasons. I have known a family member in the same age bracket and situation who had the baby removed in less than a year due to their inability to cope. It’s not always good news.
Of course she may just be batshit.

Ah well - given you aren't in year 12 and living with and dependent upon your respective parents she should have kept any reservations about you not being together that long or being relatively young firmly to herself and congratulated you! As neither of you are under 18 or dependent upon her it's really none of her business to judge and tell you when to tell people.

Congratulations, tell family whenever you like!

Mil sounds batshit!

It's your pregnancy, your decision how, when and who you announce it to!

I'd tell her you're sorry she feels that way, but it's not about her. You and dp are ready to share your happy news and will do so accordingly.

She sounds very controlling. I'd imagine this is the tip of the iceberg, unfortunately...

@ThinkOfAWittyNameLater I totally agree. Set your boundaries now. You are a grown adult and you can do what you want. She may see her son as her little child but you are adults. She needs to come to terms with that. Be confident, polite, direct but please please please do what you want

Don’t comply with her unreasonable request: tell whoever you like!

Don’t give up full time work after DC arrives!

Update

We’ve come to her house tonight it’s the first time I’ve seen her since we told her last Friday. She has not said one word to me since I’ve been here and is completely ignoring me.

Fuck her. This is your news. You've presumably waited a week already out of courtesy to her. When does she think she'll be in the right headspace for other people to know? When you're in labour? Wtaf.

Just get up and walk out, shes acting like a stroppy teenager. You're pregnant you don't need this drama.

Your mother in law is a twat.

Jesus christ she sounds batshit. Id tackle it head on. Nowt to lose if this is the alternative.

Go home. What is your partner saying about his mum's childish behaviour. If she's allowed to act like this now,imagine what she will be like when the baby is here.

For the benefit of your own mental health I would tell her straight that it's your body and your and your partners child and it's not her business. Then go home.

How bizarre

Is there a reason she doesn’t want you to have a baby?

Leave, both of you do not put up with this shit.

God, it's all about her isn't it?! I'd leave, OP, you don't need this.

Leave and on the way out tell her she wants to consider how she is treating you if she expects to have any sort of relationship with her grandchild. Congratulations on the pregnancy

It's not her decision as it's not her baby. I would leave and announce it to who you like. This is her issue not yours. Congratulations.

That’s very weird. I can only think she’s either very possessive of her son or can’t accept that her days of babies are over and is jealous of you. Either way she’s trying to make it about her when it should be about you and your partner.

Whatever it is I would ignore her and avoid her as much as possible until she decides to behave like an adult. Oh, and tell your lovely news to whoever you want.

None of her business when you tell people.

As for her current behaviour - what is your partner doing/saying to address this? He should be supporting you and making clear to her that this behaviour won't be tolerated and that the very least he expects is that you as his partner and soon to be mother of his child are treated with civility.

Personally I'd be leaving hers and telling him exactly why if not her too.