It’s twins - “are they natural?” 😡😡

[didihearthatright123456]

Why does that question irk me so much?

Well my twins aren’t aliens but yes we did go through 5 grounds of gruelling IVF to get there.

How about the first thing people say is “congratulations, that’s wonderful news”

I’m not ashamed of my IVF treatment, far from it but really, should that be the first thing people ask when they find out you’re having twins?

You'll get loads of this ..... just smile and move on.

One egg or two
Did you get them in the BOGOF aisle

Are the main ones that sprung to mind

@BigSandyBalls2015 lol looking forward to the BOGOF question.

You are so right just smile and wave 👋

Because it is unusual? And interesting?
Yes it is a nosy question, but it is really interesting if they are naturally occurring.

Get a few answers ready.

"One is but the other is made is a plastic simulant, I can't say more or I'd have to kill you"

"Natural what?"

"They are as natural as you are itenligent"

Sashh I cant imagine answering like that to anyone.

I guess the reason it annoys you is because it seems like they are in some way less special if they are IVF rather than naturally occurring.

It is certainly less unusual or surprising if they are IVF hence the question but to you thet are even more special.

It is nosy and intrusive to ask tho so YANBU. I do think a glib answer is the best tho!

I was asked again yesterday and I just visibly sighed and asked what she meant by natural? She asked if it was IVF and I said yes. She then asked if it has worked on our first attempt 😂 I bloody wish!!

Banging head against the wall 🙈

We weren’t ashamed of our IVF treatment either, we just consider it no one else’s business.

And yes, it’s rude and irritating.

Brace your self for a while litany of annoying twin questions:

Are they twins?
Yes
Two boys?
No, one of each.
Are they identical?
No, I have a son and a daughter.
Yes but are they identical?
No
Which is your favourite?
I don’t have a favourite
Which is the bad one?
They are both lovely.
Do they have a twin language?
No
Are you sure because I can’t understand them?
That’s because they are babies and they are just babbling.
Are you sure?
Yes

Then they tell you that twins in their worst nightmare and that it’s “double trouble” by which point you want to beat them bloody with your oversized baby bag.
Instead you say “twice as nice” while gritting your teeth.

Regardless of other people’s idiocy have twins is hard work but wonderful.

Get yourself you a twins club if you haven’t already, you'll find their support invaluable.

People say the most rude and ridiculous things to pregnant women and mothers of small children. It's as though normal social skills and boundaries disappear when babies are involved. I'm very bad at confrontation and would probably just do the "smile and wave" response, whilst internally raging. I think you need to practise your death stare and maybe come up with a line that turns the question back on the other person. "That's rather a personal question. Why are you asking?"

Completely sick of this too.

One mum at my four year olds nursery felt it appropriate to loudly ask this in front of all of the waiting mums.

Just because it's twins doesn't mean you have a right to ask how they were conceived for gods sake!! Rude sods.

I can't imagine every asking that. What does it even mean? How can they not be natural, it's not like you whipped then up in your spare room from bits of frogs and old dolls!!

I've got twins, you'll get asked so many questions and have so many stupid comments made. I've had people arguing with me that they're identical, they look nothing alike. Also, double trouble is the bane of my fucking existance.

I got asked that when i was pregnant with mine

The annoying questions dont stop there unfortunately

Got asked if mine were two boys as they were both in white

Well everyone I know that has twins did so through IVF. Natural is uncommon these days

greendale17 so? What's your point?

I used to childmind and looked after 3 little girls aged 11 months, 12 months and 14 months when I started - only one mine, and the other two unrelated.

I got asked multiple times per day whether they were triplets, which was fine (although a bit unnerving when a guy in a van pulled over just to ask me that once) but at least once per week someone would argue with me when I said no, I was a childminder, and ask whether I was sure! Sometimes they were quite adamant

People are strange around multiple babies! It brings something out in people. I actually mostly enjoyed it, but then I only had to deal with it Monday to Friday, 8-6!

If anything, "natural" twins are more common than they used to be, because more women are giving birth in their 40s.

The question I got was “Are there twins in your family?” Which I realised was a coded way of asking whether they were “natural” or conceived.
Twins conceived without fertility assistance are no less common now than they were 50 or 100 years ago. In fact they’re more likely now because the chances of conceiving twins is higher amongst older women.

I used to get asked for tips on how to conceive twins, one memorable time by a stranger in a supermarket queue 

I get this all the time (more so when they were tiny). I was shocked the first time a complete stranger asked me.

Ransomed in Tesco: Were they conceived naturally?

Me: Yes. Would you like to know what position we were in? (I wish I had been brave enough to say this out loud rather than just in my head).

People frequently ask which is my favourite. I tell them whichever one is asleep.

Also about a hundred people of day will use the phrase, 'you've got your hands full.' No shit, Sherlock.

We have twins in our extended family so it was always in the back of my mind.

If I were to ask if s.o. had twins run in the family It would mean that. No code for anything.

Anyway mumsnet is useful, I now know never mention the twin thing. Or the hands full.

I love it when you're lined up at the checkout and some old dear asks, "IVF?" and you answer, "No... S.E.X." and they act like YOU'RE the rude one.

So tedious isn't it.

My friend - who thought I was a bit grumpy when asked all the usual q's - once looked after my baby Dt's in a cafe while I went on an errand... As I walked back in to meet her I heard her saying to someone in an exasperated voice "....no, It's because they had sex twice in one night"...

I also occasionally deflected "are they twins" with "no there's 5 months between them"... This usually shut people up.

gosh, well, it's something I would probably think (as many twins these days are via IVF) but I wouldn't say it! But equally, I suppose I would find it interesting if there were twins in the family.

I always think twinship is quite a special thing so am interested. But I can see how annoying it must be!

The thing that used to get me was when asked when I had teeny baby Dt's and 2 year old DS and it had been ascertained by nosey stranger that all 3 are male was "are you gong to try for a girl now?"... I wanted to yell "no... for god sake I am too sleep deprived with 2 newborns and a toddler and too sore of c section and wrecked post twin pregnancy body to even contemplate having sex again ever let alone fret over the gender of any putative future offspring"

NB: I didn't have IVF, and now my 3 are 11,11 and 13 I STILL get... "Oooh 3 boys! That must be a handful.. And twins, oh my". Why?