It’s twins - “are they natural?” 😡😡

[didihearthatright123456]

Why does that question irk me so much?

Well my twins aren’t aliens but yes we did go through 5 grounds of gruelling IVF to get there.

How about the first thing people say is “congratulations, that’s wonderful news”

I’m not ashamed of my IVF treatment, far from it but really, should that be the first thing people ask when they find out you’re having twins?

I can't imagine asking anyone the details of their DC's conception. And yet I have a confession to make... 😶

A year ago a friend RSVPd to my wedding saying that she couldn't come because she was expecting twins just before. Queue lots of excited texts, congratulations and eventually, from me - so do you have twins in the family?

When she said no, I was genuinely amazed, and thought this was good news as DH and I don't have twins in the family but had talked about how great it would be.

It was only when we started ttc and I engaged my brain, that I had a hideous flashback to that conversation and realised the implications of what I'd asked. She hasn't talked to me since. I like to think its because she's busy but I wouldn't blame her for thinking I was a rude cow.

(If one of you recognises this story I'm So Sorry!)

Congrats on your twins, I can’t believe people would be so rude to ask such a personal question? I would never dream of it personally. Ignore them, they don’t deserve an answer.

Mine are 15 months and we still get that or “do twins run in the family”

Prepare yourself for an onset of
Was it buy one get one free?
Ooh, double trouble!
Bet they’re a handful!
Etc etc

Someone said to me "well done for having them naturally instead of using ivf!" (As if that was better!) I told her we did use ivf and her response? You can't tell!

Brace yourself, it'll only get worse.

Are they natural
Do they run in the family
You've got your hands full
Double trouble
Did you have them naturally

The amount of people that stick their head in my prem babies carry cots in winter flu season 😡😡

I was huge when pregnant..no twins but people constantly saying ooh you must be having twins, double trouble etc annoyed me. Strangers lol. Why are people so weird and akward around pregnant women

Mine are 5 months old and I dread going out with them! People step in front of the pram and say "stop, I want to have a look!". And then proceed to ask all of the questions above. I've been told it's very confusing for passers by because mine are identical but I don't dress them the same. I was even asked the other day if I'd had trouble giving birth to them!

As for "you've got your hands full", I tell the truth which is that my older 2 are much more trouble at the moment!

‘No, we they’re robots’

Like pp I had lots of " do twins run in your family". They do indeed, that wasn't what they were asking. Such people always drew the wrong conclusion from the wrong question. But seriously why would you ask.

Trying for twins

Mine were 6 attempts
I got those questions a lot and on one occasion I broke and said... oh can I ask you, on what position was it that you got pregnant.....

I felt guilty but one particular day I had just had enough. It never ends but I do say I get double the smiles and I wouldn't swap it for the world

Twin Mum here too. Sigh.

Enjoy the opportunity to make people feel uncomfortable about bothering you with annoying questions.

Most annoying comment about having a single baby is the “You must be having twins” comment about the size of your belly. Urrrgh

Possible responses for twins

• next you’ll want to know if my tits are natural
• yes I’m carrying two babies. My body is amazing don’t you think?
• my hands will be full, are you suggesting I can’t cope and should put one up for adoption?

Make em squirm.

Don't want to put a dampener on the twin smugness but I also had numerous rounds of ivf and when finally got pregnant lost a twin. I was desperate to find other people who'd gone through a similar experience so may have enquired once or twice but quickly discovered people are cagey. I have one child - people assume it's because I don't want another as obviously if I'd had ivf I would have another child. I did have ivf again and again until I got too old. Instead of getting grumpy with people why not just enjoy the fact that science has given you children you may never have had?

I made friends with a lady going through IVF in the lunch line at a course because she shared her IVF experiences and then I shared mine.
I would respond very differently to someone saying to me, "oh, I see you have twins, I had IVF with two embryos but had a vanishing twin" compared to "Did you have IVF ?"
In the first you are sharing your information, in the second you are asking for my information without giving me any reason to share.
I love my twins and am eternally grateful for them but I don't ask personal questions about conception of anyone.

@doodlejump1980 I love the twin bingo card! 😆 will prepare myself for that.