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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Does anyone regret finding out the sex?

98 replies

RosiePosies · 26/10/2018 23:19

Just that really - I wondered if anyone found out the sex of their baby, and then kind of wished they hadn't? I'm totally on the fence about it, and OH would love to know! 20 week scan is in 4 weeks so got ages yet to decide, but thought I'd ask the question : )

OP posts:

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SoyDora · 28/10/2018 10:16

Gosh roundthehorn, that is nothing to do with finding out the sex before the baby is born and everything to do with her issues. I’m sure if she’d have found out at the birth she wouldn’t have been miraculously delighted with a girl.

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 28/10/2018 10:26

@roundthehorn That isn’t a normal reaction, and I think it’s disingenuous the use that woman’s mental health issues as a reason not to find out

seething1234 · 28/10/2018 10:29

Jesus roundthehorn pity she didn't get help with her feelings before the birth. That really has nothing to do with finding out.

Boxerbinky · 28/10/2018 10:56

No I'm really glad I found out and would again. My friend is pregnant again and is also going to find out again!

FlippertyJibbet88 · 28/10/2018 11:05

No regret on finding out whatsoever! Agree with PP I find all the uncertainty hard and it helps me to build and identity for baby in my mind. My OH and I love crazy names too, so it cuts the debate down by 50% once we have a sex
Our first baby was also rushed off to intensive care right away after birth and the midwives didn't think to tell us the sex in all the furore so it was actually kinda nice for us to know 'who' she was during that time.

AllSouls · 28/10/2018 11:52

And that is why I never found out the sex of any of my 3 children. The very idea of being disappointed before you've even met your child is too sad to contemplate.

@roundthehorn, your boss's wife's significant MH issues are nothing to do with knowing the sex of her baby before the birth. As you will be well aware if you are a Mn regular, people frequently experience temporary disappointment about having a boy or girl if they had their heart set on one or other -- it does not generally mean they put their baby outside the bedroom door with the breakfast tray to be picked up by servants.

SoupDragon · 28/10/2018 14:01

And that is why I never found out the sex of any of my 3 children. The very idea of being disappointed before you've even met your child is too sad to contemplate.

The outcome of your story would not have been any different had the mother not found out beforehand.

I was disappointed when I find out (by accident) that DS2 was a boy. By the time he was born 2 weeks later, I was over it and his birth was not tinged with a single second of disappointment.

greendale17 · 28/10/2018 14:08

I think there's so few surprises in life these days that its lovely to find out at the birth.

^This

SoupDragon · 28/10/2018 14:13

It's a surprise whether they tell you at a scan or at the birth.

Beansonapost · 28/10/2018 14:20

I was very happy to find out...

Made choosing a name easier, made buying baby things easier .

We found out both times... and personally I felt more connected because I could use their names while I was pregnant.

Liz3891 · 28/10/2018 14:29

I found out early through harmony. I had a very strong preference for a girl and couldn’t really imagine anything else. Knowing that I’m having a boy for the past 28 weeks has made me get over any early disappointment and be fine with it.

MrsStrowman · 28/10/2018 14:57

I don't regret knowing, I'm very impatient!

SparkyBlue · 28/10/2018 15:00

I didn't find out on my two previous pregnancies but I had the Harmony test done on this one and my gp blurted it out to me on the phone as he assumed I wanted to know. To be honest it's helped me bond a bit more with the baby as this was a shock unplanned pregnancy and my emotions were all over the place. Now I am looking at girl clothes etc online and starting to get a bit excited

JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 28/10/2018 15:08

I had a surprise and it was the most magical moment of my life, I wouldn’t have missed out on that for anything. If you can bear the suspense then have a surprise, you won’t regret it.

SoyDora · 28/10/2018 15:27

Both my births were the most magical moments of my life, both the one where I didn’t know the sex and the one where I did. No difference in magic!

Stuckforthefourthtime · 28/10/2018 16:24

Both my births were the most magical moments of my life, both the one where I didn’t know the sex and the one where I did. No difference in magic!

This. The baby is the excitement, its genitals are really a small part of the equation. Once the baby comes, whether you found out or not will be immaterial. The importance of it seems much higher during pregnancy, so I'd say do what will make you happiest right now!

Original poster

RosiePosies · 04/11/2018 21:20

So we found out and... We're having a little girl. Absolutely no regrets : ) (yet)

OP posts:

LittleDoveLove · 04/11/2018 22:04

I found out at 11+4 as I did the Harmony. I'm 17 now. I always wanted to know. It's so much easier to visualise and much easier to plan what to buy :) . I know plenty who have had the surprise though! Depends on you as a person I think what's best for you :)

annlee3817 · 04/11/2018 23:53

Congrats OP :)

I'm also on the no regrets bandwagon, the surprise for me was seeing how much DD looked like DH, and feeling the joy of finally having her in my arms. I feel like that's surprise enough

lolacola13 · 05/11/2018 10:31

I found out last week and I have to say I feel like Iv spoilt the surprise . Itl pass I know and the sex is so little to do with who I am raising and my love for them I just have been feeling a little anti climatic . Maybe it's because I was convinced I was having another girl and I'm having a boy which I'm delighted about but I have analyzed this and realized when I had my first boy at age 18 , it took me a few days to bond with him and I compare this to having my daughter many years later when I was 26 and I bonded straight away Not because of The sex probably because I was bloody 18 the first time round!!! My stupid brain has now stared thinking ur going to take a ew days to bond again here which I know is utter crap!! WHY IS IT SO BLOODY MENTALLY INSANE BEING PREGNANT. I'm not even thinking like my usual rational self . :( .

SoyDora · 05/11/2018 10:36

Congratulations OP!

mumofmunchkin · 05/11/2018 14:24

I didn’t find out with my first two, but we have found out this time round (have told the world in general we haven’t found out, though, so it’s just us that know). I haven’t regretted it either way round.

tinytreefrog · 05/11/2018 18:03

I found out with my first, but not my second. Knowing dd1 would be a girl didn't make meeting her any less exciting and I don't regret finding out.

I didn't find out with dd2, I can't remember exactly why I decided not to (it was 11 years ago!). I don't think it really made it any more exciting not knowing the sex. I was actually convinced she would be a boy as I felt completely different to how I felt with dd1, so was really surprised she was another girl.

Meeting your baby for the first time is just about the most exciting thing that'll ever happen to you, it really doesn't matter whether you know the sex or not.

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