What's the best advice you could give to a First Time Mum?

[Itsmyarmsthatarecold]

I'm due my first baby in a few weeks and would like to hear any words of wisdom!

Ignore all the advice and trust your instincts :)

Always do what you think it right, not what everyone else tells you.

Trust your instincts and massively lower your expectations of what you'll get done in a day.

Take time out for yourself.

The baby stage isn't the hardest. It's one of the easiest. Terrible twos, threenager, pre teen, teen....you've got all that to look forward to.

The baby is YOUR baby, don't let anyone try tell you how look after your baby.

Know it's okay to cry, it's a really emotional time. You'll be tired, sore and you will feel like mush tbh.

Enjoy it, because they don't stay babies for long.

Go with the flow. Don't try to be super woman. Spend the first few weeks getting to know your baby. Time spent sitting with a sleeping newborn in your arms is not time wasted - it's good for baby and good for you.

You will survive it and it does get better. Most people want another one so that should reassure you on the dark , sleep deprived early days .

Sit back and relax for the first few weeks
Then go with the flow once you’ve got to know your baby a bit!
Definitely trust your instincts, both my kids are different but my instincts have definitely helped me know what they need at any time. As in, not one thing works for both of them and I just instinctively can tell that. Trust your instincts!

Go out. Whether it’s groups or just a walk. Find out what there is in your area to do with a baby.
Contact with others in the day was a godsend to me.

It’s a cliche but so true - the nights are long but the years are short

Definitely trust your instincts. Take all advice with a pinch of salt.
Take time for yourself.
If you feel overwhelmed and you're alone with baby, put baby down in cot- and take 5 minutes to breathe!!

Buy this, read it, follow it! It was re onmebded to me when I was pregnant with my first and I followed it to the letter. Both my babies slept through from 2 months old. Her books on weaning are great too.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=gina+ford+book&index=aps&tag=hydrukspg-21&ref=pdsll2pchhlbe00b&adgrpid=48662638530&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=259064181777&hvpos=1t1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16325492579041092418&hvqmt=b&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007247&hvtargid=kwd-315013346868

As someone with a three week old I would say don’t breastfeed at the cost of your mental health. Absolutely try if you want to, and you may find it easy, but if it gets to the point you’re regularly crying over it and not enjoying time with your baby, adding a bottle here and there is absolutley fine and do not feel guilty for it.

Ignore any 'helpful' advice about sleeping through , making a rod for your own back and how often you feed the baby.

Google '4th trimester' and enjoy newborn cuddles.

Trust your instincts
Go with the flow
When it gets hard, remember it will get better
Do what's best for baby & you
Don't worry about cleaning or cooking too much
Enjoy it... such a special time

Enjoy every moment even when you feel its tough because it goes so fast. Before you know it they are all grown up.

When the kids are driving you up the walls, remove the walls. Seriously, pack up the kids in the pram and take them outside. Push in the buggy, anything will do.

I would disagree and say don’t enjoy every moment. Sometimes the moment is spectacularly awful so don’t feel like you have to love every second. It’s ok to have a bad moment/half hour/day so long as it’s not all the time. I beat myself up worrying I wasn’t enjoying every second of my first borns existence and once I let go of that it was actually easier!

I would say it's okay not to enjoy it all 100% the time. Don't get me wrong, so much of it is amazing but some of it is a bit shit. And I totally agree with the PP saying follow your instincts and do what feels right for you.

My advice is as follows and it’s about other people’s opinions. People love to tell you what you should be doing but in my book the only non-negotiables are that you must feed them and you must change their nappies. The rest is all up to you. So rock them to sleep if you want, keep them in sleepsuits til they are 6mo, follow the Gina Ford routine - whatever you want!

If you have a partner make sure they do their fair share of cares and looking after from the earliest stage. If his confidence builds at the same rate as yours, it'll be easier to get more than 3 minutes peace over the next decade!!

It goes really fast. You'll worry about them over everything in the early days, weeks and months but before you know it they will be almost ad tall as you and those days will be a distant memory. My eldest is ten and I have younger children so I'm going through it all with them but I still feel a pang of sadness knowing those days are gone.

As someone with a three week old I would say don’t breastfeed at the cost of your mental health

This times 1000. It affected my mental health a lot, both times. I don't know if I regret it exactly, but I do think I made life much harder for myself than it needed to be, and now they're older it doesn't seem to be remotely relevant, so perhaps it made zero difference for all my struggles.

My main advice is: fuck the house. Nobody gives a shit that you haven't hoovered. If visitors announce they're calling, shove everything out of sight.

Ditto showering. You won't be able to do it every day, or maybe even every other day. There will be days you thank God for baby wipes and dry shampoo. These things are a godsend. Use them!

From my experience, don't get hung up on establishing routines, have lots of nice snacks around as that is all you will probably feel up to eating. Remember it is your baby and noone elses so don't feel pressured into letting other people have bonding time with the baby/taking over (talking about your mum/MIL :-)), because you will possibly feel territorial. Also, say no to visitors if too much. The health visitor/midwife visits are enough sometimes!
Remember to look after yourself by drinking lots of water and get outside for a walk when you can. Best of luck xxxx

I'm going to contradict previous advice and say its OK to stay in the house if you want to! If cuddles in the sofa or more sleep makes you feel better then don't feel obliged to leave the house every day.

Best advice I was given came from a mum of five so she should know. She advised to stay in your pyjamas for a week after you came home even if you feel well enough to get dressed. It sends a signal to everyone else that your body has just been through something momentous.