Can't stop crying - baby measuring 8 weeks at 12

[Firstbornunicorn]

Had my 12 week scan today and the midwife couldn't get a good picture. All she could make out that was remotely baby-like was a foot. She could hear the heartbeat but not see it. She said that the baby was only measuring 8 weeks and asked about my dates.

My dates are correct. I'm 100% certain of that for reasons I won't go into now. Anyway, the date she gave means I'd have had a positive test before I was even pregnant.

I tried to tell her this but she wasn't interested. Attitude was very "stupid woman has her dates wrong". I had a scan at A&E at 8 weeks which was fine. She didn't have a record of that so wouldn't take it into consideration.

What do I do now? Just sit about and wait for my 20 week scan, when I'll actually be 24 weeks?! Just need a bit of a handhold, please 😭

@SpadesOfGlory you will love Window to the Womb today! They were so lovely and appropriately outraged at my NHS story!

@ThirdChildFourthPile ummmm I don't know, maybe, can you get pregnant without having sex? 😂
Funnily enough, it wasn't what I was expecting either!! I was certain it was going to something like an MMC or some kind of birth defect. I even asked DH to ask his mum if there was any dwarfism in his family as there is in mine (not sure if that's still the right term but my relative is happy to refer to himself as a dwarf...). I nearly jumped off the couch when baby appeared, waving, on screen. Even the sonographer let out a relieved laugh. Although she may have been laughing at DH, who was crying.

How the hell could that midwife only be able to find a foot and no heartbeat?! There's quite clearly a baby in there and that's a lovely clear picture.

I'd certainly complain, I get that it's tiring and they make it that way on purpose but she needs to have her work reviewed. Hopefully, she was having an extremely bad day (not your issue though) and she isn't making other pregnant women this upset and stressed.

Glad everything is OK. Take it easy now!

Oh fantastic, what great news!

I would definitely complain, exhausting though it is. Midwife clearly would benefit from more training if she’s expected to do sonography.

Glad to hear all ok. The midwife was clearly out of her depth, not fair in you or her. You should definitely complain as this will only happen again. She is not a trained sonographer- it takes 3 years to train and can't be done in 5 mins. They could potentially miss something dangerous like an eptopic pregnancy. Completely irresponsible. This is not where they should be making cuts.

Best of luck on the rest of your pregnancy and hopefully your mind is at rest now. Wishing you a better second trimester!

So happy to see the update OP! Lovely scan pic too. What a great happy outcome which has made me smile. Congrats x

Yay so pleased for you! Wishing you an uneventful next 6 months!

Aww OP I've just read the thread, firstly with my heart in my mouth and then with a little happy tear in my eye! What a fantastic scan picture! Congratulations and I'm so pleased your mind has been set at rest!

So pleased it was a good result! Best of luck going forward x

What money well spent.. amazing news. I've had a lot of scans after 4 miscarriages and 2 risky pregnancies. Your post resonated so much with me yesterday. The news doesn't get much better than this. Congrats

Oh my goodness, so pleased to hear this update but annoyed that you’ve been out through this stress too! How awful!

Aw brill news! Glad it went well. Hello baby!

That's dreadful! If the midwife isn't competent she shouldn't be doing scans.

Glad you managed to get reassurance quickly.

So happy for you! Unbelievably shoddy ultrasound picture from midwife, certainly bears no resemblance to second picture.

That’s fabulous news

I got home from work knackered today, had a 3 hour nap, and woke up to these lovely messages.

I'd say what I've learned from the experience is to trust my instincts. When midwife was telling me I was only 8 weeks, my brain naturally thought that baby had stopped growing. But there was a part of me that was just completely confident that wasn't the case at all. I suppose if I'd been a bit more pushy, I could potentially have saved myself a lot of hassle.

However, I did spend the morning before we left for the appointment throwing up, so I wasn't exactly feeling assertive. Just grumpy and a bit grim.

Just read all of this and so happy to see your second scan photo of a lovely happy baby safe in there!

Wishing you an uneventful and healthy next 6 months.

I just opened my maternity notes for the first time.

"Scan impeded by early gestation"

She didn't listen to me at all, did she?

I wonder how many other poor women have had sleepless nights and weeks of worry because she's clearly not been properly trained to use the equipment correctly or interpret the results.

I hope it's just been a bad day on her part, but I'm writing a letter explaining my concerns. I have no confidence that, if something were to go wrong later in the pregnancy, I'd be taken seriously.

@Firstbornunicorn, I’m not one to complain, I let a lot slide but after experiencing the limbo of being unsure whether or not your baby is ok and the stress, upset and hopelessness it causes this is not ok! Her attitude seemed to stink too which says it all. We all have bad day, but in her line of work surely she should have some empathy with women who are going through the mill in any stage of pregnancy. I’m just so pleased that you were on the ball and managed to get a rovate scan quickly!

Right, I've just had a phonecall from the midwife saying I've got a UTI.

I didn't give a urine sample.

ZERO confidence!

Oh wow!

This is like a comedy of errors.

Bloody hell, that MW ought to be seriously disciplined, she's clearly not fit to practice. Congratulations OP on your waving bundle of joy!

Incompetent as fuck! So now there’s a pregnant lady somewhere who has a UTI and they’ve presumably ‘lost’ or ‘mixed up’ results!

Not good enough!