Can't stop crying - baby measuring 8 weeks at 12

[Firstbornunicorn]

Had my 12 week scan today and the midwife couldn't get a good picture. All she could make out that was remotely baby-like was a foot. She could hear the heartbeat but not see it. She said that the baby was only measuring 8 weeks and asked about my dates.

My dates are correct. I'm 100% certain of that for reasons I won't go into now. Anyway, the date she gave means I'd have had a positive test before I was even pregnant.

I tried to tell her this but she wasn't interested. Attitude was very "stupid woman has her dates wrong". I had a scan at A&E at 8 weeks which was fine. She didn't have a record of that so wouldn't take it into consideration.

What do I do now? Just sit about and wait for my 20 week scan, when I'll actually be 24 weeks?! Just need a bit of a handhold, please 😭

@Celebelly you're right. It's a pity, because even though I wouldn't consider an abortion due to Down's, it would be nice to know if it's a risk so we could prepare ourselves. The cost of having those tests privately is not something I can afford. I took the money for the scan tonight out of my pram fund!! 😂

The comments on here are giving me the warm and fuzzies. Sometimes Mumsnet is a horrible place, but sometimes it's brilliant!! Love to all of you

For those who have asked, I've got a hold of the complaints address for my trust, so I'm planning to write a letter at the weekend.

Hopefully things will change there in the not too distant future! But I think your scan was def worth it for the peace of mind, although a shame you had to fork out to get that because of an incompetent midwife! Congratulations fingers crossed for a very boring 6 months ahead!

@shouldidoitspoilt what the hell indeed!

Congratulations, I'm so glad you got to see your beautiful baby and that everything was ok! Xx

@Celebelly so far I've had a suspected ectopic, relentless sickness that my GP wouldn't sign me off work for, a hospital admission overnight for fluids, and now this! I'm hoping for a very boring 6 months indeed.

This is brilliant news. Hope you get some rest tonight.

Sorry to hear she wasn’t nice. Technically you are classed as pregnant before you conceive though when dating. They use the first day of your last period so your not actually pregnant then. Are you sure on your dates.

@mrs2468 are you really asking me that?! RTFT, dude.

Not sure what RTFT means but when you said in your op that the date was before you were actually pregnant is technically true.

@mrs2468 I'm not up in the lingo but I think it means read the f ing or full thread?

RTFT means Read The Full Thread.
You will see that the OP couldn’t have had her dates mixed up AND that she had a private scan this evening that shown she is indeed 12 weeks pregnant with a lovely bouncy baby.

So yes reading the whole the thread before posting helps......

Yay! Pleased you had the private scan and were able to get the reassurance you needed! The private scan looks just as you’d expect (at least from my total layperson perspective! Looks a lot like the 12 week scans for my kids anyhow). And now at least you know that you are right on your dates and that baby is looking good. Congratulations

@Firstbornunicorn So pleased the scan went brilliantly for you. Definitely complain about that midwife! Absolutely no need for all the stress she caused you 

@mrs2468 no, I said that if the midwife's dates were correct, I'd have had a positive test before I was pregnant. I did say I was sure of my dates.

Sorry if my last response was a bit abrupt - been a long day.

Absolutely delighted for you op🌹.
Wishing you much straightforwardness!

I'm so glad your private scan went great. Can't get over the midwife! I'm NI too midwife scanned me at booking in appointment and faffed about for ages not confident with the equipment at all. Just about got a measurement. I got booked for consultant 3 weeks after so was happy to wait for his dating scan! With my first 6 years ago I had no midwives doing any scans- I think it's a recent thing getting midwives to do them here.

Apologies if not sure what happened but I could have sworn that the updates weren’t there. Congratulations and glad all is ok

@Firstbornunicorn I've been checking this thread all day and I'm SO chuffed with your update...what a beautiful wee baby! Congratulations

Good plan about complaining...No woman should be put through what you went through today.

Brilliant news! So pleased for you, and a great scan photo too!
Make sure your pregnancy notes are updated, and changed back to show 12 weeks!

I personally would ask to be put under a different midwife, and explain that you were not happy with the way you were treated. (You now have proof as well, that she was wrong and incompetent!)
Good luck going forward.

So pleased you've been reassured😀

Congratulations, what great news. If you do get the chance to write a letter of complaint that would be brilliant - hopefully they will then give the midwives better training and not put other women through this ordeal.

@Firstbornunicorn at your 16 week appointment you can ask for the triple test. In NI it's something you have to request and I had it with both of mine. Its a free way of picking up on possible abnormalities. Like you, I wouldn't have aborted, but wanted to be prepared

OP are you sure your dates are correct?

I'm KIDDING! 😁😁😁

Congratulations!! I genuinely stared agog at the screen when I scrolled down to see your lovely baby in the second picture! I wasn't expecting that at all. Your MW Is clearly untrained and it needs to be bought up.

The fact that she couldn't see the heartbeat could lead people to go down the MMC route which could end a perfectly good pregnancy. Doesn't bare thinking about!

So glad to see all is well OP. I think you do need to complain. It sounds like they just let some random in off the street to have a play at scanning you, rather than someone who was properly trained. How they could miss the baby almost completely is unbelievable, and just not bloody good enough!