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Original poster

Am I miscarrying? (Photo, TMI)

78 replies

scared89 · 20/10/2018 18:20

Name changed for this

I've had a small amount of red spotting at 5 weeks. Had 2 scans since and all was fine, saw the heartbeat at 6 and 7 weeks.

I'm now 9 1/2 weeks and I've been having brown/red mixed spotting on and off since yesterday. It's fairly light but getting worse - pic is of the latest spotting. It's only on tissue paper, not on my knickers atm. No cramping but some back pain ( I was sick in the night as I caught a vomiting bug that's going around, which might be why my back hurts.)

I phoned the doctor on Friday and she's arranged a scan for me at the epu on Monday afternoon, and said only to take further steps over the weekend if I fill a pad or have bad cramping.

I can't concentrate on anything and want to burst out crying. Dh says just don't think about it as there's nothing we can do anyway, but it's easier said than done. I need to go into work on Monday for meetings (will be very hard to rearrange, and no one knows I'm pregnant) and pretend everything's okay.

I will be devastated if I miscarry 😥

OP posts:
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Clueing4looks · 22/10/2018 16:56

Sorry for your loss Flowers

pandaobsessed · 22/10/2018 17:01

So sorry to hear your sad news @scared89. Make sure you have plenty of rest and have lots of cuddles with your dh this evening 

Original poster
scared89 · 22/10/2018 17:01

Thanks everyone

@SausageBrain I'm not sure, they sent me home with some leaflets with the options but said don't open them until I'm ready. They booked me in for next Monday to do a final ultrasound but they said it's just a formality.

I was worried about whether the surgical procedure might affect my fertility in the future, but like others have said if that's not the case I'd prefer to get it done and dusted, especially as I'd like to start trying again. I don't like the unpredictability or waiting, and I have really painful periods anyway so I'm dreading the cramping. I guess there's a chance it will happen naturally before Monday anyway.

OP posts:
sprinkleofsunshine · 22/10/2018 17:23

So sorry for your loss @scared89

I'm in exactly the same position. Having final scan Wednesday for formality but have already confirmed mmc. Still not starting on it's own though I've had one spot of red blood last Friday and a little bit of mixed when wiping earlier today

I was planning on going down natural route as i an beyond scared of general but reading this not so sure.

I know what you mean about the whole feel like you've lost your future. This is my third loss  but I've read so many positive stories I'm trying to keep positive.

Iswallowtoothpaste · 22/10/2018 17:26

@Scared89 regarding the surgery affecting your fertility, I had my surgery at the end of June and I’m now 8+2.

It was my friend who advised me to opt for surgical management, she too had had surgical management and went on to conceive a few months later.

I hope you’re having some cuddles with your DH.

So sorry for you both xxx

CobaltRose96 · 22/10/2018 17:34

@Scared89, I had my surgery in April, fell pregnant again in June, and am now 20 weeks pregnant Smile So it hasn't affected my fertility.

Clueing4looks · 22/10/2018 17:38

I went with natural but I was already bleeding, took a week from start to finish but I didn’t want a d&c as was scared of an operation.

Theres a slim chance of something called ashermanns syndrome, which could affect your fertility. I know nothing much except its name but it might be something you want to read up about before you make any decisions

So sorry for your loss

costacoffeecup · 22/10/2018 17:56

Sorry op

user1492525633 · 22/10/2018 18:07

So sorry for your loss. It’s absolutely heartbreaking. There is no right answer with management - they all have pros/cons just pick what is best for you.

I personally had an MVA (essentially a procedure under local anaesthetic) which is not offered in many centres and I had to go to another centre, I wanted a definitive procedure, but didn’t want a general anaesthetic. For me personally it was the best option, but just go with what feels right for you.

I didn’t recognise how much impact it would have on me - I didn’t tell anyone and tried to go back to work a few days later as felt physically fine, but ended up crying within an hour of being at work. I took two weeks off to help recover which I really needed just time for me. Please take time to look after yourself

I’m sorry again for your loss
xxxx

Rebecca36 · 22/10/2018 18:27

We are not doctors on Mumsnet. If you think you are miscarrying, go to GP or A&E.

CobaltRose96 · 22/10/2018 18:38

@Rebecca36, please read the thread.... Shock

BaggaT · 22/10/2018 18:57

Sorry for your loss

I had two surgical procedures following my mmcs. In both cases nothing happened naturally for more than a week and I just wanted closure. I'd recommend it. I was treated very well and for the later one, the gave me a keepsake box and I felt glad that someone was acknowledging my otherwise invisible loss.

I was pregnant with DD three months after the last one, so it didn't seem to affect my fertility.

Dillydallyingthrough · 22/10/2018 19:26

FFS @Rebecca36 I understand when its a petty subject but seriously have some respect and sympathy and RTFT on these threads!!!

OP I'm so sorry, hope your having some cuddles with your DH. Take care of yourself xxFlowers

toasterstrudle · 22/10/2018 20:05

@scared89 I'm so sorry for your loss. It's such an devastating thing to go through. I had ERPC in April and I felt it gave me an element of control which I needed. The staff were very sensitive and caring. Look after yourself. Thanks

SAS2806 · 22/10/2018 20:38

So sorry for your news , I had a mmc in April 12 weeks and then a miscarriage June 6 weeks . I had medical management with first , 3 times and failed and needed an emergency d and c .

Felt immediately better post op , with second misscariage it was natural , like a very heavy painful period but tbh it dragged for a few days and I felt like every time I had to change pads etc it brought I all up again.

D and c seemed to be quicker recovery and less painful for me emotionally and physically .

I am now 20 weeks pregnant after falling pregnant within a week of second misscarriage , so please don't lose hope ! Xx big hugs

Sexnotgender · 22/10/2018 20:41

So sorry to read your update.

SecretWitch · 22/10/2018 20:45

Gosh, Rebecca36, thanks for your helpful and insightful message. I’m sure the Op appreciates reading it after she has reported her sad new.

Op, so sorry to read of your miscarriage 💐 I’m sending you thoughts of sympathy and comfort.

doistayordoigo · 22/10/2018 21:53

Sorry to hear your sad news Flowers

CageyBee · 22/10/2018 21:56

So sorry for your loss. With regards to an earlier thought you posted- I would tell people. He or she was a little life not a secret and I would talk about it. I’m sorry sorry for you xx

Rogueone · 22/10/2018 22:43

That is sad news indeed. I have had two missed miscarriages, ectopic and two miscarriages....however on a positive note I do have 4 DC,,,,, i remember being told my baby had no heartbeat and the devastation that came with it. The lack of understanding from those around me who would say things like, oh well at least you know you can get pregnant, you can always try again, its natures way....didn't take away from the grief and emptiness that is left behind. Hugs from me....

RedWineAllMine · 23/10/2018 01:03

I had brown blood and mine too was a loss. A MMC. I too was 10 weeks at the time but told the heart stopped beating at 8+3. I was booked in for a D&C but naturally miscarried the night before the op.
From being told no heartbeat to having the actual miscarriage took around 2 weeks.
The miscarriage pain was horrendous, off the scale. I can't describe how bad it was because I've never had such pain like it. Horrific. You need to have the op soon to avoid going through what I went through. I had to put the foetus in a plastic tub and take it to the hospital so they could check it had all come out. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.
Positive side I'm now 30 weeks pregnant with a very active little boy. So keep on trying, you will get your baby.

Original poster
scared89 · 23/10/2018 10:26

Thanks everyone. Dh and I had a little cry last night but I'm feeling okay today. I also phoned my mum and sister told them, and they both said they would have come to the hospital if they'd have known. It was good to talk about it.

Dh is going to tell his parents today. My sil is very insensitive (my first memory of her is her telling me that if I didn't have a baby soon then it might be born disabled. I was 22 at the time. She's only a few years younger than me 🤔). Shes been constantly asking when we're going to try for a baby since we got married, so hopefully knowing might shut her up (although I won't hold my breath).

It sounds from the posts here like surgical management has lots of benefits, and it would be my first instinct as I would like to draw a line under this and move on ASAP, but on the information sheets they gave me there were lots of risks too. Mention of creating a hole in the womb or creating scarring that might impact future fertility. There is another method involving a 'vacuum' that only uses a local anaesthetic, not sure if this is different in terms of the risks:

OP posts:
Gobletoffire · 23/10/2018 10:32

OP, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Xx

rainbowstardrops · 23/10/2018 18:53

I am so sorry to hear this Thanks

Kay2705 · 23/10/2018 20:23

So sorry to hear about your loss OP

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