Feeling pressure to breastfeed

[lucy19977]

Hello, I'll try and get to the point as quickly as possible. I'm pregnant with my first baby due in January and I think I'm prepared (well as much as you can be for a small human who relies on you to survive😅) but one thing that's always mentioned and has annoyed me since my first midwife appointment at 9 weeks is wether to Breastfeed my son or to bottle feed.

I was always adamant that I wanted to bottle feed due to the fact that I personally would feel uncomfortable breastfeeding (I have NO issues what so ever with other women doing it - unsure if it's an age thing as I'm 21 and can be self conscious at times), I have a rather large chest 34GG before pregnancy and I would also like other people to be able to feed the baby mainly because I'm no longer with the father of the baby and I would like the baby to get used to staying with him for a period of time but might be difficult if I'm breastfeeding.

Recently I've felt more pressured into breastfeeding and I'm unsure what to do now as I obviously want to do the best for my baby and give him the best start.

I also planned on SMA milk if I bottle feed - is this type ok or is cow and gate or aptimil etc better?

Please advise what you think is best and if bottle feeding would be ok?

I don't really selfishly want to worry about what I'm eating/drinking for another 9 months

Please don’t perpetuate this myth. Breastfeeding mothers can eat and drink pretty much whatever they like, including moderate drinking, unless their baby has allergies. There are lots of valid reasons not to breastfeed but this isn’t one of them.

It's completely up to you how you want to feed your baby OP, don't let any midwife pressure you. It's one of the tick boxes they have to cover in appointments and there's a big drive to promote bf'ing as the rates are low in the UK. Don't take it personally they are just tying to educate women on the benefits as there are a lot of misconceptions around bf'ing. You could even express your milk (after the first few weeks) to allow other people to feed baby.

I went into it all with the idea that I would give it a try and see how I got on with no pressure on myself. He ended up latching beautifully within the first hour of being born and I bf until he was 2 months old then switched to formula. For us it was the right decision to switch then as I was exhausted. I don't for one second regret switching so early but I would have regretted not trying at all.

In regards formula every baby is different but Aptamil worked well for us. We also have a perfect prep machine and swear by it. When your making what feels like a million bottles a day and you have a baby screaming to be fed it's a life saver as it makes the bottle in a few minutes. They are not recommended but we have never had issues with it and run a regular cleaning cycle on them and replace the filter when indicated. For your hospital bag buy some of the ready made bottles of formula as they come with the sterile teats in the pack. Again I had them in my bag incase bf'ing didn't work out as most hospitals will not supply formula.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

I don't have anything to different to add to this thread other than echoing PPs in that it is your choice and my own experience.

I BF child 1 until 1 year, BF and then switched to formula with child 2 and then child number 3 was BF then combined after 7 months or so.

I had the opposite feeling because I wanted to BF but with my DC2, it didn't work out. With DC3, I personally hated having to do it all alone and with 2 other children (one who is extremely difficult) I found it hard to EBF.

Again, completely your choice and do whatever suits you, your baby and your life. Just go with it and you'll be fine

Sorry, meant to read as
"it is your choice and here is my own experience"

Hello everyone thank you so much for all the replies! (Sorry for the delay as I've just learned how to reply on the app)

I feel a lot better after reading all your responses and I don't feel like I have to breastfeed if I'm uncomfortable, I will speak to my midwife at my appointment next week!

I think SMA seems like a good option and I'll definitely take the advice of sticking to newborn milk and not moving on after 6 months. I do have a perfect prep machine already as my auntie had a baby not too long ago. I think I will buy the ready made milk at first as it seems easier while tired and getting used to a new baby. I'm not overly concerned of the cost as my work as still paying me full pay for 9 months and half pay for the last 3 months if I choose to take a year! I will need to do some overtime before I finish just to make sure I can still pay for my mortgage etc over all the baby supplies I need😂

Thanks again for all the advice and the congratulations

I am in agreement with those who say it is totally your choice how to feed your baby. We don't set out to harm our children with our feeding choices and I really do not see what is to be gained by forcing a new mother to breastfeed when she is already clear about her choice. It just makes her stressed and upset and that isn't good for her baby or for her relationship with her child.
I do think I would be flexible about what brand of formula you use. I fed both mine on SMA and they did well. DC and DIL started dgc on Aptamil ready made, who h was fine but when they transitioned to powder, he struggled. They switched to Cow and Gate and have had no issues with either the ready made or the powder. They have a perfect prep machine and both Dh and I have used it with no problems when we babysit.
Enjoy your baby.

I am also going to mainly ff, I am going to try and hand express some colostrum into syringes straight after birth though (I've been told these are provided by the hospital) but aside from that I will be FF.

My hospital does provide formula but I think just in a pack that needs to be made up, so I have a couple of boxes of the ready made bottles to avoid trying to find hot water etc if that is the case!

Don't feel pressured about BF, I have been asked at the last 3 appointments how I'm feeding and I've just said straight out formula and it hasn't been pushed by the midwives any further which is refreshing!

Good luck with baby!

My next one will have colostrum and then bottle milk. DC1 was breastfed a bad sleeper often ill very intense and clingy personality (also funny, energetic and beautiful, but the former is true too). DC2 spent the first month crying on a breast pump as he never latched, but he was then formula fed, a wonderful sleeper and much more laid back personality. Also his immune system is better. I think FF babies tend to be easier to look after than BF babies as they are fuller and therefore more content. Also, I intend to be working and studying ASAP and as a single parent don't want to be a dripping tap. Also, I take medication for health conditions which I have to stop when pregnant or breastfeeding so it is important to me to be back on my medication as even though I can do without it for short periods I am much better sum taking it. I think I made my life very hard breastfeeding DC1 for a long time when I could have just given her a few days or weeks of goodness and then gone back on my medication. It's such a personal choice, and I felt infinite pressure to breastfeed both mine, but honestly now I'll tell them to go shove it this time! Not their baby, not their body, not their boobies. And yeah sterilising is a pain in the bum and formula expensive but so is lanolin, breast pads, breast pumps, nursing bras and nipple shields lol

Your baby, your choice. I was adamant I was breastfeeding. It wasn't working. He kept losing his latch, screaming, generally very angry so it wasn't good for either of us. When I want3d to stop, health visitor nearly had me in tears as she didn't want me to stop.

Point is, this time round I'll just be telling them it's my intention to try but if the bottle saves us then bottle it is!

The pressure is immense but you just have to be clear about your intentions. You don't have to provide reasons for them. As for formulas, one is pretty much the same as another. We used cow and gate comfort milk and it worked fine for us. One think I would recommend would be the perfect prep machine. The formula tells you to let the kettle cool for 30 minutes before preparing the feed. Babies do not wait 30 minutes!

The formula instructions don't tell you to wait for exactly 30 minutes, they tell you to wait for no longer than 30 minutes! Totally different. You're supposed to use water that is greater than 70 degrees, which it will be if it's been less than 30 mins since the kettle was boiled. That's all it's trying to get across. I really hope that there aren't loads of parents waiting for 30 minutes each time they make a feed up!

No, I bought a perfect prep! Even holding it under the cold water didn't cool it quick enough!

Do whatever is right for you. I'm still breastfeeding my nearly 3 year old but I would never judge someone for not choosing to breastfeed.

Lucy19977, thanks for making this post! Reading all the responses it makes me feel so much better as I’m in the same situations! I’m having twins and I’ve been feeling like I don’t know if I want to even try it sometimes but I think I will definitely try but I still want the option to bottle feed as I imagine it will be very difficult with two! Like the other posters have said, we will hear different opinions to ours and this is only the beginning I think we just need to learn to not let others opinions worry us and do what is best for us and our family!

The ready made milk is a different consistency to the powder, I found it didn't stay down too well, so just watch out for that .

Yes DC2 could not stomach ready feed to start with, only after he'd been on powder for a while X