Doesn't perineal massage make things a bit, well, slack when you resume "relations" with dh/dp?

[willywonka]

Didn't do it with dd1 (7lb 4oz) and had a couple of stitches for an episiostomy that healed fine within a few weeks. Hadn't started when dd2 was stillborn at 34 wks. No tear or episiostomy this time but put it down to the fact that she was early (5lb 4oz). Now 31+6 and thinking I maybe ought to try but can't help but wonder how long the effects might last

BTW have no problem with using the word "sex" in the thread title, just find the word "relations" funny and don't have an opportunity to use it very much

I thought it was giving birth to a bowling ball shaped object which caused the slackness, but what do I know?

Oh just reread about your dd2 - I'm so sorry.
Still don't think perineal massage will make much odds compared to giving birth!

Agree with minty. If anything's going to make you a little slack, it's the birthing.

no, the purpose is to help get your perineum ready and to get you used to the stretching feeling of the head crowning

it is the pregnancy and then birth that causes slackness...if it occurs

make sure you do the pelvic floor exercises

am so sorry that you lost your DD2

I know what you mean but the birth is a one-off event, rather than repeated stretching over a number of weeks. The best analogy I can come up with is if you lifted light weights regularly over a period of time, you'd develop more muscle that if you tried to lift a big heavy weight in one go.

Lulumama - can anything get you ready for that feeling of the head crowing?

erm, well, maybe ! perineal massage is as close as you can get

waterbirth can be helpful too !

Really want a water birth but they won't give me a decision until 38 wks as it will depend how much they think the baby needs monitoring (are being extra careful after dd2). Will have to see if dh will be willing to help with the massage cos I'm not sure I can reach

hope you get what you want !

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rofl summerfruit