Is my antenatal care rubbish?

[mandler]

I had antenatal appointment number two today (at 22 weeks).
I have had a few other appointments (scans of course, and a fetal medicine consult after talipes diagnosed) but at no pont have I had a proper (ie more then 10 minute) talk about what is coming up, what to expect, issues/worries I might have.
Am I being naive to think that that is what antenatal appointments are meant to be about?
My first booking in appointment was hideous, the midwife ignored my quesions and wanted me out of there sharpish, and today the GP took the appointment and again I was out in 10 minutes.
This being despite having the talipes diagnosis to contend with, plus SPD so not an easy few weeks for me!
Rant over - is it like this everywhere?

No it's not - but sadly it sees to be getting more and more common. Hopefully you may get more tim to discuss worres and ask questions at your antenatal class.

It seems you need to pay someone to listen (private midwives, NCT classes). Really sad. Thank god for mumsnet!

I felt like this too at times, although I think a lot of it is to do with the manner of the midwife/health professional. Some people can get you in and out in 5 minutes yet still make time to listen to your concerns. Others can take 10 minutes and you still feel totally ignored.

Mainly I think they are just under incredible time pressures - also I found they were reluctant to discuss issues too far ahead - so for example I developed high blood pressure about halfway through the pregnancy and they wouldn't discuss what that meant for my delivery options until about week 36. I think in some ways it's sensible because so much can change and then you just have to have the discussion all over again in view of the new situation - but it is frustrating.

I should have mentioned that this is my first pg -although that is probably obvious! I guess I expected to be treated like a very clever and special person at all times!!

As I understand it the recommended minumum appointment schedule has changed recently so you get:
booked in
12 week scan
16 weeks mw (bloods)
20 week scan
24 weeks mw (bloods)
28 weeks mw
32 weeks mw
then every 2 weeks til birth

Thats if everythings straightforward. You may have an odd consultant appointment if there are any 'issues'

Seems really poor to me and its changed loads since I had my DS (only 3 years ago!). That time I saw the mw every week for the first 12 weeks cos I'd had loads of mcs and had appointments every 2 weeks throughout. I kind of expected the same this time but I seem to have been downgraded to normal. It was a bit disconcerting at first but actually now I'm 20+3 I'm quite glad of the lack of interference. After all we aren't ill

I think if you feel you need more support you have to be more assertive and demand more of the mws or gps time, not always easy I know.

Good luck and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy

Our local community midwives are great and I can phone my surgery where they have a clinic on a Friday & make an appt if I have any worries, which I did this week. Some people prefer hands off too so it might depend on the person as well, when it's your first it's all new & exciting & like you say you expect to be treated like you're special. This is only right imo it's all new to you & you will have lots of questions and concerns. The NHS shouldn't have to rely on the likes of MN to answer people's queries, sadly it does. Sometimes tho' all you need to do is be a bit assertive, tears don't really work as they're to be expected but explaining why you need an answer and when you want one can do, just don't be shirty as they are only trying to do their job. Sadly as with every profession some people are good at it & others not quite so much. Good luck with the rest of your exciting journey.

I hear you on the 'expecting to be treated like your special' and getting the exact opposite.

I had to wait more than four weeks to get an appointment with a midwife at my medical centre... they did get a midwife to call me to organise a scan (because I'm going to end up getting a scan before seeing a midwife at this rate) and she couldn't get me off the phone fast enough.

This is also my first and I'm not really that familiar with the system... so I'm pretty sure that I'm going to plump for an independent midwife to get some personal attention, otherwise I think I'll freak out.

I thought that once I told the medical centre people that I was expecting they'd be all over themselves to tell me all the rules about what to do and what not to do... but they made it pretty clear they weren't interested until I was well through the pregnancy. Pretty disappointing

I've had the care Pheebe outlined. Had to change Drs to get it though (one with a midwife) as my first GP refused to do his part of the shared care ("If you are feeling alright I don't see why I need to see you" at 24 weeks!).

Got to say I was surprised at the lack of input at first but since my pregnancy has progressed (4 days overdue today)it seems about right as I have had nothing wrong with me and whenever i have had concerns a call to the birthing centre or midwife has alleviated them straight away.

Just glad I changed Drs though -made the pregnancy instantly less stressful.

Hi Mandler

I had the same thing with my first pregnancy, i was really excited by mw appointments but they never lasted more than 10mins and during that time my mw would regularly be on the phone! I cried after my first one as i just couldn't believe i was pregnant and i was in and out in 4 mins without hearing the heartbeat i was so disappointed. The mw's are just too busy for pregnancy's which aren't problematic - suppose i should just be glad we had no problems (DD is now 4 and a half months)

Good luck with everything xx

Mandler - I have have had pretty bad experiences with MWs. I had to ring to get my 12 week scan because I still hadn't heard from them by 11 weeks. Then at 32 weeks still wondering why I hadn't heard about antenatal classes I rang the MW and she said I "wasn't in her book" ! I have seen 3 different MWs and have shared care with my GP, none of the appointments have discussed anything important, just taken BP and had a quick feel - bish bosh in out! Plus they always write stuff in my notes and never explain it to me or discuss it.

One of the notes surprised me. All the other MWs/GP had written stuff like "a bit worried" "feeling low" etc. as I basically cried every time I went for an appointment because I was feeling so awful, and the MW who "didn't know about me" had just written "well" despite the fact that I had again cried, and she had told me it will be a miracle if I don't get PND!

Sorry, that was a bit of a rant, but just wanted to empathise with you. I'm very disappointed in the MW service here.

checkout the NICE guidelines as to what to expect.

generally though I felt like I "wanted" to see the m/w more than this early on, but in reality they don't need to see most people very much until late pregnancy, when problems are most likely to start developing.

That said you have got some issues, so it might be worth speaking to your local supervisor of midwives about the care you've had.

MissG is right though, a good m/w can do wonders in 5mins & a bad one do nothing to help in 20mins in my experience...

It seems to be so hit and miss. Where we are I have a choice of 2 hospitals - and the care couldn't be more different with each group of midwives.

If you are unhappy, it might be worth exploring alternatives, and possibly changing GPs or hospital (as I did to get the care and birth I wanted).

We know that MWs are stretched to the limit, but if you truely feel the care you are getting is inadequate do speak up. My MW tried to cancel my 37 week homevisit on Friday, but once I explained that I wanted the appointment to be kept and I could not go to her and my reasons why she came out and was fine. Please don't think you can't ask for what you want, sometimes we do need to be a little assertive. Good luck with it all

You are not alone Mandler.

My first contact with my ex MW was at 13 weeks for a booking appointment. The appointment was supposed to last 1.5 hours but as soon as I got through the door (bearing in mind it was the first contact I'd had with her) she said that she was too busy for a full booking and could only spare half an hour!

I was out within 25 minutes and she refused to take any bloods as she didn't agree with the EDD that I had worked out from my known cycle dates! After I left I realised that I didn't know when I needed to see her again. I called the surgery who left messages for her to contact me and I left numerous messages on her answer phone but she didn't get back to me.

At 17 weeks I signed up with an independant MW and I'm so glad that I did. They come to the house and spend as long as you want answering questions and giving advice. I'm 24 weeks now and am so happy I made the move.

Thanks for messages - one the one hand I am not alone, on the other - how flipping depressing! I thought about getting a doula (although DH not keen) as I am now so worried about birth and being ignored that I need someone to fight my corner