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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Do I have to take my baby when I go for a wee?!

57 replies

Scout1774 · 30/08/2018 11:04

Ok so this is a strange question perhaps but one that is really stressing me out!
I am pregnant for the first time, due in October/November, so all getting quite soon. One of my friends kindly gave me a bouncy baby chair she no longer uses, and she said "it's quite small so you can take it to the bathroom with you when you need the loo." I didn't say anything, but I thought, "why do I need to take the baby to the loo with me?" Then I have read a couple of pregnancy books, and one of them said "if you have friends come over try and get them to hold the baby so that you can go to the loo."
What's wrong with putting the baby in the moses basket in the bedroom, shutting the door (so the cat can't get in) and then popping to the loo for two minutes? Obviously if the baby was hungry or needed something from me at that moment I wouldn't do anything, but if he was calm what's wrong with him being alone for a few minutes?
Sorry - do tell me if I am being very naive!

OP posts:

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Bryonie2017 · 30/08/2018 11:08

It's not that you can't exactly it's that you don't want to. Hormones are powerful things and when I had my newborn it felt horrible leaving her so I took her with me - less stressful.

DunesOfSand · 30/08/2018 11:11

You don't need to take baby with you, but baby might have ideas about not being left anywhere.
Personally, mine screamed if not being held by me. So he spend most of his time in a sling so I could do stuff like go to the loo and eat biscuits.....

mumofmunchkin · 30/08/2018 11:11

Absolutely nothing wrong with that! Put the baby somewhere safe, and nip to the toilet. Nothing is going to happen to your baby in the two mins it takes to go to the toilet.

I never got the showering thing either. I need a shower each morning to feel vaguely normal - I just put the baby on a towel/blanket on the bathroom floor and had a shower for 10 mins, or had a shower when they were having a nap in their carrycot (in the bedroom or lounge or wherever).

When they are rolling/crawling you might want to take them with you, just because they can move a remarkable distance in 2 minutes... but by that point they are probably at a stage where you can take them and just sit them on the floor of the bathroom.

BigBlueBubble · 30/08/2018 11:11

I was terrified to leave mine alone because SIDS guidelines say the baby is safer in the same room as an adult. Plus I was worried he’d somehow get the blanket over his face and suffocate. I would occasionally risk a quick wee but nothing longer.

ThirdChildFourthPile · 30/08/2018 11:12

I just leave them where they are safe.

You don't need to haul them up and take them with you when you wee.

60sname · 30/08/2018 11:12

I don't take him into the bathroom when I use the loo! Much more of a palaver than quickly popping upstairs. I do when I shower unless he is already sleeping soundly in his basket.

It's more that he falls asleep on me (as now!) and will likely wake up and cry if I move. Hence why I haven't showered yet today.

ThirdChildFourthPile · 30/08/2018 11:12

That's quite extreme BigBlueBubble.

Bluebelltulip · 30/08/2018 11:16

I would leave her in her chair or basket in the living when popping to the loo same as getting a drink etc. If I was going to the loo, do teeth etc then I would take her with me.

Happyandshiney · 30/08/2018 11:19

Nothing is wrong with it. Baby is safe, no problem.

But you might find your baby will scream and you might find that very stressful.

I have twins and couldn’t take them both to the loo with me.

So I either waited for the rare occasions when the were both asleep at the same time, or I listened to them scream while I was out of the room. Singing to them while I was in the loo helped.

Not all babies cry when their Mums leave the room though so you might not have this problem - but that’s why people do it.

sirlee66 · 30/08/2018 11:24

My friend and I had babies at the same time. Her DD gets put on the floor or on her play mat in the living room and she can go to the loo, cook in the kitchen, or just sit on the sofa with a brew and DD it's fine and just lays there. Happy as Larry.

My DS is the complete opposite. He's a little limpit and will scream if I put him down. Will only nap on me, has to come with me to do everything . He just wants to be cuddled 24/7. Without a chair in the bathroom, I wouldn't be able to even wipe!

Depends on the baby I guess. Massive Congratulations on your impending arrival!!

ThirdChildFourthPile · 30/08/2018 11:56

Sirlee66 my first baby was just like yours. My second baby was just like your friends.

There's absolutely no predicting it is there?
What cracks me up is when people with one child say that their baby is calm because they are calm.

Yeeeeeaaaah that's not the case. 😂

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn · 30/08/2018 12:01

I used to to just lay mine on the V pillow in the bath and have a nice poo in peace.

Merename · 30/08/2018 12:02

Second all the above thoughts, and it's a really good question- the reality of which I think most first time parents aren't prepared for - I wasn't. Basically how you do things will largely be dictated by this baby and over time less by how you thought you would do things. Some babies will be happy to be left and others will react like you are neglecting them in the worst way possible if you put them down for a minute! My DD was a bit like that and I found a sling around the house kept us both happy. Hoping for one of the calm ones this time! So true @ThirdChildFourthPile - I'm so looking forward to having my second baby with a less inflated sense of how they are being entirely dependent on me.

dinosaurkisses · 30/08/2018 12:06

This genuinely never occurred to me- when they’re a newborn in a solid Moses basket/ carrycot what trouble can they realistically get themselves into during the 60 seconds it takes to pop upstairs, wee, wash your hands and come down again?

I wouldn’t fancy dealing with an UTI on top of everything else that comes with recovery from birth either.

happymummy12345 · 30/08/2018 12:08

I just left mine where he was.

Clairetree1 · 30/08/2018 12:09

you can leave them if you want to, if you don't mind if they are screaming, and if you are sure they are shut into a room away from dogs and cats.

but it can be easier to take them

MrsSnootyPants2018 · 30/08/2018 12:10

Unused to leave DD in her pram or in her cot while I went for a shower or the loo.

ivenoideawhatimdoing · 30/08/2018 12:10

I felt I had reached a new level of motherhood when I managed a shit with a wailing newborn but I tended to leave the fucker if I could

happymummy12345 · 30/08/2018 12:10

I never bothered with the baby must be in the same room stuff anyway. Mine only ever slept in the crib upstairs, even in the day. I had a video monitor and checked regularly. I hate Moses baskets so would never have one.
If he was always I left him in his chair or on his mat. He was fine

Happyandshiney · 30/08/2018 12:10

What cracks me up is when people with one child say that their baby is calm because they are calm.

Having twins really highlights what nonsense this is! I had one calm, one whirlwind- I wasn’t doing anything different!

FissionChips · 30/08/2018 12:12

I think it’s filthy to take your baby into the bathroom while you use the toilet, why would you want them breathing all those horrible shit and piss bacteria?
Just put them in a cot or other safe place.

Daisy2990 · 30/08/2018 12:13

We used to keep our pram/ carrycot in the front room with the brakes on... really easy just to pop the baby in there, and they are safe from pets etc because they're off the floor.
The bigger worry for me was public toilets and the hassle of trying to go for a wee with a pram. I think I only managed it a couple of times, in places with big disabled cubicles.

60sname · 30/08/2018 12:15

I think it’s filthy to take your baby into the bathroom while you use the toilet, why would you want them breathing all those horrible shit and piss bacteria?

SoyDora · 30/08/2018 12:19

Don’t think I’ve ever taken mine with me for a wee. What, it takes all of 3 mins to wee and wash your hands?!

Hideandgo · 30/08/2018 12:22

There’s nothing worse than trying to do a wee, or worse a very painful and time consuming poo, post birth while your baby does that horrific newborn cry elsewhere (shudder). Better to have them with you in a bouncer so you can pretend to yourself you’re making a difference singing to them and bouncing them madly with your foot as you go. Or you could wait till baby is asleep for all your toiletting needs....assuming you can actually hold on which isn’t always the case for the first few weeks/months post birth.

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