Do I have to take my baby when I go for a wee?!

[Scout1774]

Ok so this is a strange question perhaps but one that is really stressing me out!
I am pregnant for the first time, due in October/November, so all getting quite soon. One of my friends kindly gave me a bouncy baby chair she no longer uses, and she said "it's quite small so you can take it to the bathroom with you when you need the loo." I didn't say anything, but I thought, "why do I need to take the baby to the loo with me?" Then I have read a couple of pregnancy books, and one of them said "if you have friends come over try and get them to hold the baby so that you can go to the loo."
What's wrong with putting the baby in the moses basket in the bedroom, shutting the door (so the cat can't get in) and then popping to the loo for two minutes? Obviously if the baby was hungry or needed something from me at that moment I wouldn't do anything, but if he was calm what's wrong with him being alone for a few minutes?
Sorry - do tell me if I am being very naive!

I've had many bathroom trips holding a screaming baby. You just do what you've got to do.

I would have been fine leaving DD in her basket and going for a wee, but she had other ideas and I can only handle so much screaming. It was a lot easier to arrange baby parking places in strategic locations and take her around with me. Sigh.

I don't remember taking young baby with me but that stage where you turn your back and they have climbed the bookcase and swung from a light fitting, then I used to lock them in with me. And yes we did have a playpen but they learned to escape. It was a short-lived phase to be fair.

See how it goes - when suffering with anal fissues post birth, I often spent 20 mins - 30 mins in agony in the loo - wouldn't have wanted to leave a newborn that long. For quick wees if they were happy I'd leave them, if not I'd often just wee holding them, or pop them on the bath mat for a sec!

It’s sounds like a very PFB thing to me. Not that I ever did it with my PFB though, I just left them in a safe place (cot/bassinet/basket/floor mat) and went to the toilet. Unless you are my DH going to the loo does not take long irrespective of the reason for the visit so it’s not as though the baby is being left alone for any length of time. If they cried then that’s life, it’s only for a few minutes at most, hardly going to scar them for life.

I laugh when first time parents have such conundrums. It just doesn’t occur when you have a demanding toddler and baby. A toddler cracking it demanding instant attention generally wins out over a baby and at that point most parents will be fine with having a baby (even if crying) in a safe place they can’t see or attend to for a few minutes in order to deal with the toddler first. You will always get some parent who claims they walked on water and calmed a toddler (probably by farting unicorns and rainbows) while having their baby strapped to them 24/7 and it’s all so perfect. Then there’s everyone else in the real world.

No never did any of that nonsense

Secure baby and go to loo in peace

Newborns you can leave in a safe place but if I’m home alone with my baby now I never go to the loo on my own as although he can’t walk yet he climbs, eats things, is fascinated by plug sockets etc etc. Much easier to relax if he’s in with me shouting into the bath and waving toothbrushes about!

Just used to leave them in their cot / bouncy chair.

It's fine, it really is.

As verbena says toddlers are a different kettle of fish. I turned my back the other day and DD was standing on the kitchen table!

I left mine to go to the toilet and I never understand people who say they can't even get to the toilet or the shower. If I wanted a shower then we would be in the Moses basket in the bedroom, I'd be in the ensuite with the door open.

If all I wanted was a wee but my baby cried because I had left the room I would still go.

I think it’s filthy to take your baby into the bathroom while you use the toilet, why would you want them breathing all those horrible shit and piss bacteria?

I try not to urinate and shit all over the bathroom and aim for the actual toilet.
Our bath is next to the toilet, how long am I supposed to leave after a "piss or a shit" before all the germs are gone and I can bath the baby by your rules?

I try not to urinate and shit all over the bathroom and aim for the actual toilet. hmm
Our bath is next to the toilet, how long am I supposed to leave after a "piss or a shit" before all the germs are gone and I can bath the baby by your rules?*

When you close the lid of the toilet and flush then waterdroplets splash up and escape into the air. That’s why it’s recommened that you don’t keep your toothbrush in the bathroom, to stop it from getting contaminated with toilet water.

Hopping, it’s wasnt PFB for me it was PTB (3rd baby). Some babies are just more demanding and hysterical than others. My #4 will sit anywhere for 20mins without a peep.

Yes, I’ve heard of all those people hospitalised from flying poo particle on toothbrush syndrome. Horrific.

When you close the lid of the toilet and flush then waterdroplets splash up and escape into the air. That’s why it’s recommened that you don’t keep your toothbrush in the bathroom, to stop it from getting contaminated with toilet water.

I was a Dr for many years (retired, doing other stuff). Lots of friends and family are Dr’s. I have never ever come across anyone sick due to their toothbrush being contaminated with toilet water in the scenario you describe. I do not know of anyone else who has ever come across this, something that should be a widespread phenomena given the number of people who have bathrooms/toothbrushes/toilets in the same room. I’m sure it would be a talking point if it was indeed a thing but it’s not. I have come across people who have become ill by cleaning their teeth with non-bottled in third world countries (people are careful about drinking but forget when it comes to brushing teeth, ice in drinks etc). That has nothing to do with a toilet in the room, it’s due to running water not being suitable. I think you need to regard these stories with a healthy dose of scepticism and also unclench!

My first was quite happy in his bouncer chair for a minute so I could use the loo. If I needed a bath or shower, I’d put the chair in the bathroom so I could keep an eye on him and that seemed to work ok.

I think I was lucky though! Mine wasn’t terribly clingy, whereas friends of mine have had their baby in a sling around the clock just so they could get things done.

@dingdongdigeridoo I've never had a clingy baby either thank god!

But surely keeping them in a sling only makes that worse?

My oldest is nearly 19 and it never occurred to me to take them to the toilet with me.

im always baffled why anyone would.

I never understood that glued to your baby bit either though.

I've never taken either of mine with me to pee and DD2 does whine when I'm not around. I couldn't take DD2 anyway even if I needed to as we moved and our bathroom is tiny compared to the bathroom we had with DD1.

I've always just made sure they are somewhere safe (moses basket, cot etc) and gone.

MrsSnooty, you’d think wouldn’t you. But then as with all parenting it’s just hypothetical and easy to judge until you find yourself in that position and then you simply do what’s best on that given day, week or month.

For the record I’ve never used a sling. Just saying that all these things seem neat and tidy until you experience them yourself.

Thank you for your messages everyone! I do keep my toothbrush in the bathroom though so maybe I should worry about that instead ...
Good to know that I am not a terrible mother if I leave baby alone for a few minutes. Thanks again!

I never understood that glued to your baby bit either though.

It’s a new fangled thing. Apparently if a baby makes a sound and you are not holding them immediately they are mentally ruined for life. I’m guessing parenting book authors have to come up with new material every so often when the market goes flat so make up this sort of stuff up, it dies down then they have to come up with another new fad. These people prey on parents guilt so there’s pretty much unlimited potential material. I’m sorry to say your 19yo is obviously screwed.

No you don't need to, as long as baby is put in a safe place they will be fine. Same for showering. I've got four kids and never missed a shower, I just got up a bit earlier and made sure I had time.

As PPs say it depends on the baby, if you can handle the screaming of you put them down etc. Then when the baby it sitting up you might be ok for a short while or they might topple over and cry. When they can crawl they can go fast so you have to pee quickly!

I once unpacked the shopping and DS rolled off his mat, bumped himself a tiny bit and I felt so guilty, so Mum guilt might mean you don't want to. A couple of towels on a hard bathroom floor whilst they can't go far is fine x

It’s a new fangled thing

Nonsense, people have used papooses and slings for thousands of years.

Just because it’s not what you did doesn’t make it new.