Has anyone free-birthed?

[Chalkybee]

Hi, please don't jump on me as I know this can divide opinions but I wonder if anyone has experienced free birthing and would mind sharing their experiences.

I'm pregnant with my 3rd, the first two births were fine, no complications. The first was a planned home birth but there was only one midwife on duty and she didn't want to deliver on her own so I ended up in hospital. The second baby was born in London, where I had an amazing dedicated HB team and baby was born at home with 3 wonderful midwives and the experience was exactly how I wanted it. Now we're back living in In the same area as we were with baby 1, but even more rural. There's one midwife who covers our village and I don't like her much. They've already mentioned that I might have to go into hospital if there aren't enough MW to cover and that it something I definitely do not want unless there is a medical reason for it. Hospitals make me anxious and feel out of control. So I am genuinely considering the option of free-birthing if there is no MW available.

Not only that, I'm also wondering about free birthing to be prepared incase there is a MW available but baby arrives before they do, given our rural location!

I'd love to hear any experiences, positive and negative to help me with this decision.

I haven't done it but I would consider it in your position. Personally I'd probably be nervous though as I've only had one labour and for it to go smoothly you need to feel confident, it sounds like you are. Is it an option to hire an independent midwife? You've probably looked into that and I don't know what it costs. I'm about to attempt second home birth after a transfer with the first. I have a feeling it'll go smoothly this time but we'll see. I believe in birth being aided by the midwives being as hands off as possible, not talking to me too much etc, and like you I'd have concerns about a midwife I didn't click with being there. I'm fascinated to hear if you get responses from people who have done it and most of all hope you don't get judgy responses from people projecting their fears onto you, that's something you definitely don't need.

Thanks :) yes, I'm pretty confident though not so much about not having gas & air! I did look into a private MW but the price was well out of our reach. The alternative is a doula but then I wonder if that would be worth it.

Could you hire a private midwife? Has your nearest hospital got a home-from-Home unit where you’d feel more at ease? Is there a way that you could get to know your community midwife a bit better so you feel more comfortable with her?

I just feel that a free birth is a drastic solution to a solvable problem in this situation.

Fair enough if you feel up to it yourself, but you’d be intentionally denying immediate medical care for your baby if something should go wrong.

I can understand why it might be your only option tbh. You shouldn’t be forced into hospital because the trust have inadequate staffing (sounds like an ongoing problem rather than a rare one off). I would probably just see how things go and if you feel safe/happy call once you are in well established labour. If they can send someone out, great and if they can’t, you are well within your rights to decline transferring into hospital and this is not (like someone will try to tell you) illegal.

Your other option would obviously be an independent midwife?

Is a doula affordable? You could have a consultation with one to get a feel for if they'd add anything. No gas and air obviously! Or you request a home birth and so get provided all the Nhs equipment and then choose not to call if you feel things are going well? How long would it take to get to hospital if there was an issue?

You won't be able to hire anyone other than an HCP who is qualified to deliver babies. So don't bother to even ask a doula, as all you'll be doing is putting them in a position where they either have to say no, or are agreeing to committing an offence.

Yes, people deliver with unqualified attendants quite often, if onset of labour is unexpected. But that's not the same as planning to have unqualified attendants, which is not allowed.

Can you find out more about the MW provision in your area? Because only 1 covering all births doesn't sound a terribly usual arrangement. A chat with the local head of midwifery might be useful, to see if you wave bottomed out all the possibilities for an NHS staff attended home birth. Which I suggest because that is what it sounds like you really want.

Delivery is only ever normal with hindsight, and I would not be happy with a completely unattended birth..

I agree with the above re: a doula. I’d avoid any doula who offered to deliver a baby like the plague.

Is private midwifery care an option?

@dinosaurkisses private MW is too expensive unfortunately and there is only one which covers our area. There is a MW lead unit but it's still in hospital. The other issue is my partner doesn't drive so there are logistical issues with hospital, as it's about 35mins away (although he could get lifts etc if needed).

I don't see the risk as being much more than opting for a HB as the distance is the same if anything was to go wrong. We'd definitely research it and ensure we were fully aware of the signs that it wasn't going to plan otherwise I wouldn't do it.

Presumably your husband will be with you and if this baby is your third, he'll know what it is all about and can learn the rest.

Doula seems pointless to me, better to have a friend or relative who has experience.

I hope you manage alright whatever happens.

You could die. Your baby could die. And even without the worst case scenario, there are so many things that can go wrong. You starting to push without full dilatation, cord prolapse, shoulder stuck, brain damage if breathing issue, placenta rupture, do I have to go on? An unexpected birth is one thing, planning an unassisted birth is irresponsible. Not sure you are aware the baby of one of the free birthing movement died during labour here in Australia.
If you don’t like your local midwife, hire a private one.

@scaevola - sorry I wasn't clear - I wouldn't expect the doula to help deliver but be there as support.

I only have contact with one MW and not sure how to ask to see another when there's no more in the area? I'm sure there might be more that cover births but my worry is that the only one available is the one I don't get on with. I'm also terrible at saying no, because I don't want to offend people.

I might look into the MW provision in the local town and see if I can be seen by them instead, my first app. Was there then I was referred to the local community MW.

What does it cost to hire a private midwife (out of interest as much as anything!)?

Is there any way you could cut costs over the next few months, get a loan from family etc? It could be the best money you ever spent.

Thanks for the helpful advice @KingIrving

@dinosaurkisses - it was £3.5k and my partner is freelance and his work has dropped significantly these last couple of months which has ruled it out unfortunately. I'm due in Dec so not that much time to save.

This might help.
www.midwifery.org.uk/articles/unattended-or-unassisted-birth-in-the-uk/
Technically your husband can not assist with the delivery.

I would contact the HoM for your area and voice your concerns. There are significant Midwife shortages nationally. There is also a requirement for trusts to support home birth, so adequate arrangements should be made unless there is a sudden outbreak of norovirus amongst the midwives. Ask to be seen by a different community midwife. Home births are much, much cheaper for the trust.

“Presumably your husband will be with you and if this baby is your third, he'll know what it is all about and can learn the rest.”

With respect, no matter how many births OP’s DH has seen, if she has a PPH or the baby needs resuscitating etc he’d be as much use as a chocolate fire guard.

I don't see the risk as being much more than opting for a HB as the distance is the same if anything was to go wrong. We'd definitely research it and ensure we were fully aware of the signs that it wasn't going to plan otherwise I wouldn't do it.

The difference being that a qualified midwife will almost certainly notice that things are heading in the wrong direction quicker than you might, thus speeding up the arrival of help.

Free birthing could result in your death or the death or serious disability of your child, because you don't like a midwife.
Fucking hell, Darwinism in action.

Planning an unattended birth, for any reason, is insanely irresponsible. To plan this because you "don't much like" the midwife Seems unbelievable to me.

Loads of women "free birth" every day in lots of parts of the world. The survival rates for them and for their babies are horrific. In birth, things can go catastrophically wrong in seconds. Even the most low-risk pregnancy is not a zero-risk.

You have been lucky with two straightforward births. I don't think you realise how dangerous birth can be. You say your first midwife "didn't want to" deliver the baby alone. You fail to understand that it would be grossly irresponsible for her to attempt to do so - from the moment the baby is born, there are two patients and an absolute bare minimum of two healthcare professional attendants is needed. What would happen if the baby was born unresponsive and needed resuscitation at the same time as the mother began a post-partum hemmorage? Neither of these scenarios are uncommon. So it is not a case of your midwife didn't feel like it, as you put it. I'm concerned that you don't understand just how risky even the most textbook pregnancy and labour can become.

Don't plan to "free birth". It is dangerous and irresponsible. In every culture and throughout human history, women have sought the most qualified help available to them because the consequences of not doing so are horrific. You live in a county with the enormous privilege of access to healthcare in birth. To reject hag for an Internet slogan of free-birth is foolhardy.

My partner was okay last time but he wasn't amazing and tbh, I wouldn't trust him to tell me what to do! Run my back, yes. Make tea, sure but other than that I don't think it would work or be fair on him to put that responsibility on him. I'd only ask him to be aware of the signs of things going wrong etc.

Thanks @Numberofthemouse. Very insightful

@sycamore54321 - I'm researching my options not jumping into something which is responsible. Jumping into it without research would be irresponsible. I'm looking for experiences, not opinions, but thanks anyway.

I'd only ask him to be aware of the signs of things going wrong etc.

and how exactly do you plan to monitor foetal distress?

Hi there, my fourth baby, was born at home. I ‘threatened’ to free birth, mostly because of how awful they dealt with number 3 (I delivered him on my own in a hospital room because they wouldn’t believe I was in labour) and in light of trauma of number 2 (stillborn)

I declined all obs led care, I declined any additional care and made it quite clear they either came to me, or I would have the baby at home.

In the end I spoke to the head of midwifery at who I had spoken to after my last experience with them

We are also very rural. She agreed that thogih on paper I was incredibly high risk, in reality I was low risk and basically agreed to attend herself if there was a problem

So I had my last baby, in water, at home on my own. I’m glad they were there. birthing babies is not difficult for me, but delivering the afterbirth is horrendous for your third and just gets worse.