Has anyone free-birthed?

[Chalkybee]

Hi, please don't jump on me as I know this can divide opinions but I wonder if anyone has experienced free birthing and would mind sharing their experiences.

I'm pregnant with my 3rd, the first two births were fine, no complications. The first was a planned home birth but there was only one midwife on duty and she didn't want to deliver on her own so I ended up in hospital. The second baby was born in London, where I had an amazing dedicated HB team and baby was born at home with 3 wonderful midwives and the experience was exactly how I wanted it. Now we're back living in In the same area as we were with baby 1, but even more rural. There's one midwife who covers our village and I don't like her much. They've already mentioned that I might have to go into hospital if there aren't enough MW to cover and that it something I definitely do not want unless there is a medical reason for it. Hospitals make me anxious and feel out of control. So I am genuinely considering the option of free-birthing if there is no MW available.

Not only that, I'm also wondering about free birthing to be prepared incase there is a MW available but baby arrives before they do, given our rural location!

I'd love to hear any experiences, positive and negative to help me with this decision.

My 2nd was pretty much a free birth as it happened so quickly! MW arrived as the head appeared and he pretty much just popped out. No gas and air. Unfortunately, I tore quite badly and had to be transferred to hospital to be be stitched up. BUT the birth was fine, and not stressful, even though he arrived on the toilet!
We're pretty rural, and there was a chance I'd have gone into labour during the snow this year, so a free birth was always a possibility! TBH I'd always choose the path with least intervention if it's low risk and expected to be straightforward.

How about a doula?

@CherryPavlova - thank you for the link, it's really useful.

@CantankerousCamel - sorry to hear that your 2nd and 3rd births were traumatic :( thank you for sharing your experience.

My ideal would be to have a MW present who was as hands off as possible allowing me to birth.

Op you seem to be annoyed with posters who are disagreeing with you - but I'm pretty sure they are just concerned that you are purposely putting yourself and your baby at risk. I totally understand you wanting absolute minimal intervention - but can't you speak to the midwife and clearly state your wishes? That her job would be to be present but that is it unless you need assistance?

@inappropriateraspberry - I'm due around Christmas and there's always the chance of snow and ice is always possible. Thank you for sharing x

@Kittykat93 - I asked for no judgement and for people's experiences whether positive or negative to allow me to make an informed decision. I'm only annoyed with people who are being judgy and voicing their negative opinions.

Honestly if you are genuinely concerned about the distance and driving, access in the snow and ice etc, the sensible option would be planned induction of labour or an elective c-section at 39 weeks. I strongly suspect you will not consider these options.

I can understand why OP is unhappy with people threatening her that she and her baby could die, of course she knows of possible risks and is going through a process of weighing them up against the risks of a medicalised labour. They are not helpful responses and more about those posters than helping the OP come to a decision. I'm assuming that you could have a homebirth with disliked midwife if that's the only option but have little contact, ask them to wait in another room and allow occasional monitoring for safety purposes?

I wouldn't let a cow calve with the absence of assistance you're contemplating.

@Merename - exactly and thank you. A HB with the midwife I haven't felled with would still be an option.

At this stage I am only considering all options available and seeking experiences of real life births. Because even with a home birth there is always the chance the baby arrives before the MW!

It's okay, some people just have the need to voice their judgy opinions. More fool them tbh.

I can completely understand why this is tempting to you - you’ve had two straight forward deliveries. The problem is that many or not and you’re not trained to recognise early subtle signs of problems that need to be dealt with right away in a way that a midwife can.

I come from the opposite end of the spectrum - one of my twins almost died and I went from thinking everything was fine to being told my baby wasn’t moving to having an emcs in less than two hours. It’s really scary how quickly things can deteriorate when you’re blissfully unaware of it.

Please contact your local Head of Midwives - believe me, they want to find a solution that works for you and your baby. They definitely don’t want you to take this risk on board. They also need to be able to make sure the baby is healthy when they’re born, make sure blood sugars are stable etc, things you can’t do yourself.

Small things that go wrong in birth can have catastrophic lifelong effects. I understand that this seems abstract to you because it hasn’t happened to you. My son has brain damage and without the swift actions of the professionals his prognosis would have been far worse.

I honestly don’t say all this to scare you. I work for the maternity service now and some of the stories are so upsetting. There are so many things that can go wrong - Home births are wonderful when you’re low risk, but the professionals who attend are highly specialised and trained to monitor without tons of equipment, for your safety and the baby’s.

Also, lots of free birthers have no antenatal care and no scans - I would strongly advise against this, the risks are so great.

I think people are "judgy" because what you are proposing is utterly ridiculous and dangerous to both you and your unborn baby. I agree with a PPs statement that you are fortunate to live in a country where maternity services are generally excellent. Thank God I didn't take your approach- my wonderful 4 year old wouldn't be here if I had and I very much doubt I'm unusual in saying that.

Nobody is threatening anything. Hey are stating facts. Death is a real risk for both mother and even more so for the baby in every birth. There are a number of things we can do to mitigate that risk. "Free birth" is about doing precisely nothing to reduce the risk. You have no idea that the OP is aware of the risk of death. She has certainly never mentioned it. In fact, the things she thought important enough to mention were her dislike of the midwife's personality, and the way she described the reason her first pregnancy was not a home birth shows that she does not understand even the most basic risks of having one health care professional alone in a house for two patients. Why on earth should people not mention the most basic risks when the OP has not given any indication that she knows they exist? This isn't threatening anything. You can't demand to be told only fairy stories of the type you want to hear on an open discussion board. Not when you are seeking validation of a horrendously irresponsible idea that can kill both the poster and her baby. But sure, not hurting her feelings is an equally valid consideration ...

Yes, I unplanned free birthed. DS2 was a 2 hr labour start to finish.
I was pottering around, packing my hospital bag, and had the urge to push. I could feel his head with my fingers, so called for DH to dial 999. Paramedics were amazing - with us in 6 mins. Only one paramedic, made it upstairs before DS2 was born. His paperwork states "born before arrival".
Much as the post birth bit was lovely being in my own bed, I don't recommend the free from medical care bit. Home birth great (what happens if the singular midwife isnt on duty? Are you denied a home birth, or is there cover? In which case a working week is likely to have 2 other midwives (min) to cover?) but the potential for us to have experienced a very different was very very scary - especially for DH. Frankly i didnt really think about it at the time!!! I can see why you are considering it, but would see if therecare any other options, because it would be bottom of my list should child3 come along.

Congrats on your pregnancy

@SinkGirl - thank you for sharing, and sorry to hear that there were complications. This is exactly what I'm looking for - real life experiences as it's all to easy to read about free birthing stories which have been filtered into overly positive or even just negative and not get an actual idea without bias either way.

I'm currently trying to find the contact detail of the community midwife team to discuss things with them and see about being seen under a different MW. When I had my initial assessment the two MW that I saw were amazing, if I could see them again then no problem! :)

@KeramyJyle - thank you for sharing, glad to hear it went smoothly! If unexpectedly. My previous labours haven't exactly been short but you just never know do you! Even with calling the MW I'm aware that baby could arrive before.

@sycamore54321 - I never asked for fairy stories. Just actual experiences not opinions. I never mentioned many of the things stated because I assumed it was given I would be aware or look into the risks. The reason the first birth didn't go to plan as the MW didn't want to deliver my first baby alone, that's fine and I agreed to go into hospital straight away trusting her judgement. She had said had it been my second she would have been happy to carry on. Of course I've looked into this but on the internet you can easily just read a biased view of something - on both sides. The only way I felt to avoid this was to speak to people who have actually gone through it.

I don't see the risk as being much more than opting for a HB as the distance is the same if anything was to go wrong.

Really?

With a standard home birth you have a qualified midwife, midwives who can manage a pph, resolve a shoulder dystocia, resuscitate a baby. So I would see a free birth as quite a bit riskier than a home birth.

I'd been drawn to the idea of a HB but as my son was breech ended up with a ELCS.

After the CS I was told he had a knot in his cord, had I laboured every contraction would have pulled that knot tighter and the possible outcomes don't bare thinking about, especially as I live rurally and the time it would have taken to get to hospital might have been too long.

Had I laboured in hospital it would have been picked up and it would have been an immediate EMCS and crossed fingers that we caught things in time.

It's ludicras to say that as this is your third your partner will be in a position to 'help', midwives are far from qualifies to watch for signs of things going wrong after 3 births so why on earth you think your partner can . . .

You say you are very rural, just bare in mind that IF anything does go wrong, what would your transfer time to hospital be?

And I'm not judging. If you want to do it that's fine. But your decision needs to be informed and your earlier post gives the impression you think if something goes wrong at a homebirth the midwife does nothing apart from call an ambulance.

Any chance you’re in Dorset? The east of our county is very spread out. Even if there’s only one midwife that covers your village for antenatal care, that may not be who’d come to you for a homebirth. Here we have a dedicated homebirth team who are highly specialised so if you ask you may find there are special arrangements, which may be different than they were when you had your first baby.

I totally understand not wanting someone who makes you uncomfortable present at your birth, I honestly do. I’d just be careful not to throw the baby out with the bathwater (pun not intended!)

Also this bit: The other issue is my partner doesn't drive so there are logistical issues with hospital, as it's about 35mins away (although he could get lifts etc if needed).

That would be a real concern for me - you could of course call an ambulance if you’re in trouble, but we all know that ambulance services can’t alwahs be relied on especially if you are rural.

Have you been to visit the midwife led unit? The one we have locally is absolutely wonderful and would be a lovely place to give birth - ours is on the site of a hospital but not one with a labour unit, and the nearest one is a 20 minute ambulance ride if you do need to transfer, but it’s certainly a much safer option than birthing at home without assistance. In your situation I would definitely consider it.

"She had said had it been my second she would have been happy to carry on."

Charitable interpretation - she was telling an inconsequential white lie to soothe your disappointment at not getting a home birth. Alternative interpretation - she is a dangerous and reckless midwife who practices well beyond the scope of her practice. Either way, you STILL haven't grasped the foundation point of the enormous risks of birth.

@NicoAndTheNiners - transfer time is about 30 mins, which is the same as it would have been in London with traffic a d distance considered.

My dsis had 2 sort of freebirths. I say sort of as she's a midwife and her dh is a doctor. They were her second and third babies. With the second, the labour ramped up quickly and she got in the bath, her dh arrived home as the baby was crowning. They had talked about using a private midwife for a home birth but didn't bother in the end and had kept an open mind about going to hospital. With her dc3 her dh went to bed while she was having mild contractions in the evening but still coping well, she woke him up when it got intense and she gave birth again in the bath, then they all got back in bed. But she lives literally just up the road from a hospital where she works as a midwife and she and her dh did have training and some equipment that they were experienced using (she was also a paeds nurse working in nicu at one point before becoming a midwife... Obviously she wouldn't have been in a position to make professional decisions while in labour but had seen a lot of births and had more of a sense of what things going wrong can look like than the average second and third time parent). So while technically not attended by a professional it was quite different to going it alone completely.

I guess for me the question would be whether I could live with myself if it went wrong. My answer would be no but other people are more comfortable with accepting the risk and living with any unexpected consequences. I think the desire to free birth is very understandable and seems quite natural, but I also feel it comes from quite a privileged position where death or serious harm to a baby or mother during childbirth seems really abstract and unlikely. The reality - which we all know in an intellectual sense but rarely actually see or experience - is that women and children can and do die or have life-altering injuries during birth - they are also a rare but "natural" part of natural birth... its just so abstract because we don't see it often these days. I'm just not sure it'd be worth the risk.