Has anyone free-birthed?

[Chalkybee]

Hi, please don't jump on me as I know this can divide opinions but I wonder if anyone has experienced free birthing and would mind sharing their experiences.

I'm pregnant with my 3rd, the first two births were fine, no complications. The first was a planned home birth but there was only one midwife on duty and she didn't want to deliver on her own so I ended up in hospital. The second baby was born in London, where I had an amazing dedicated HB team and baby was born at home with 3 wonderful midwives and the experience was exactly how I wanted it. Now we're back living in In the same area as we were with baby 1, but even more rural. There's one midwife who covers our village and I don't like her much. They've already mentioned that I might have to go into hospital if there aren't enough MW to cover and that it something I definitely do not want unless there is a medical reason for it. Hospitals make me anxious and feel out of control. So I am genuinely considering the option of free-birthing if there is no MW available.

Not only that, I'm also wondering about free birthing to be prepared incase there is a MW available but baby arrives before they do, given our rural location!

I'd love to hear any experiences, positive and negative to help me with this decision.

I gave birth unexpectedly unaided but I really wouldn’t recommend it. Your babies safety is more important than whether you like your midwife.

Sorry if I missed it but what does your dp think?

I know ultimately it is the birthing woman's choice but our dc2 was born blue and needed a lot of help in the first few minutes without any real warning. I wasn't really aware as I was delivering the placenta but dh was watching terrified.

I would have dc3 at home but dh argued that he wanted paediatricians etc on standby having watched what went on with dc2. As it turned out, dc3 slipped out without any fuss (15mins after arriving in hospital) and would have been fine for a hb.

So while it is ultimately your decision, I do think the person you will be relying on and presumably the baby's other parent should have some input into the final decision.

I've given birth alone - unplanned. I wouldn't choose to do it. Third babies can be tricky I was repeatedly told when pregnant with my third. Each labour is different, just because you've had 2 uncomplicated doesn't mean your third wouldn't be.
You could have a real emergency, and what would you do, especially being rural? How would you handle a shoulder dystocia? How would you know if your baby was coping with the contractions? I haemorrhaged after my third, that had never happened before.
No judgment as I see your predicament and I understand how you feel about hospitals. But is it worth the risk?

Can you not just put yourself down for a home birth then if the midwife cannot come out refuse to go into hospital. Then just ring an ambulance when you are in established labour and they will come out to check everything is okay with you and baby. If it is they will not take you into hospital if you were booked for a home birth.

I was booked for a home birth and this is what they told me to do if my labour was quicker than the time the midwife took to get there.

@TheRedRoom - yes I agree, it definitely does come from a place of privilege. I've found it hard to find many negative stories when searching and I'm sure that's not because they don't happen. I think it's a whole different story if you're medically trained, which I'm certainly not!

No I didn’t want to risk my baby’s life for hippy credit.

@PhannyMcNee - my partner supports my choice and agrees with the HB. His suggestion is to just refuse to go to hospital and demand a MW but the idea of any conflict during labour makes me anxious, it's not something I'm comfortable with.

@keepingbees, hospital birth isn't something I'm considering unless advised it's the safest option. I've no doubt that a home birth is the right choice for us and I would prefer a MW present.

@toothtruth - this is what my partner is suggesting if they say they aren't any MW available. It's definitely an option. And if I did have to go to hospital I'd have no choice but to call an ambulance as my partner couldn't drive me.

Where are your other two DC going to be in this scenario? Still at home? How would your DH calm and tend to your two existing children whilst also being an effective and supportive "birth partner"?

I'm putting "birth partner" in quotations because what you're potentially asking him to do (i.e., look out for the signs of things going tits up) actually goes well beyond what could be reasonably expected of a birth partner. You are essentially putting the responsibility for looking for warning signs on his, an untrained non-medical professional's, shoulders. Never mind your guilt, how would you expect him to deal with the outcome if things did poorly and you or the baby were harmed? That is really quite selfish.

Fair play to the women who do this out of necessity, but planning this is a different scenario altogether.

My first baby was a planned home birth. However, on the day I went into labor, we were unable to reach the home birth midwives because they had changed their phone number. A new hospital had been opened and their offices moved, as well as new phone numbers! The phone number we had kept ringing through to the maternity ward, for some reason. After speaking with the maternity ward many times, they finally sent a nurse to find the head of midwifery in the hospital. She rang us back and told us she would attend us at home. However, by then, we could already see the baby's head, so we were told to ring for an ambulance as they would reach us quicker on a blue light. The paramedics arrived but weren't really sure what to do with us. I was in a birth pool and the head was out. The midwives then finally arrived and baby was delivered and pulled out of the water very quickly. The paramedic looked relieved. Fortunately, everyone was fine and we didn't need to go to hospital.

The midwives managed delivery of placenta, and checked to make sure baby and I were all right.

The experience was good but looking back, many things could have gone wrong. I'm glad the midwives showed up at the end. Just to make sure we were all okay.

PP says to just call an ambulance and this is what I was told to do when the midwives weren't going to make it on time. They would be able to assist if you are not in the water.

another thing you might want to look into is renting a holiday cottage in another area and giving birth there? or at a family member or friends house in a different area?
I know you can do this because I went to stay with my parents in a holiday rental for my first birth... and although i ended up being induced they did easily swap over all the care to that location. So I had all my visits there from the local team.
So just might be worth thinking of that to get to be in a better area for home birth where they would have more midwives available?

@TheCraicDealer - the children will be at one of our neighbours. We live in a small but tight community and they are more than happy to have them over no matter what time and for as long as needed. Failing that for whatever reason, my dad is already on hand to come pick them up (and also give lifts to my partner if needed in case of a hospital birth).

@The8thMonth - thank you for sharing. Glad your experience was positive.

Hearing all of these stories is certainly making think twice about it. I think I felt if I had a plan then it would be better than winging it and just refusing and calling an ambulance and possibly having conflict and stress, even if the plan was to go alone if no MW was available.

@toothtruth my due date is 21st Dec or 27th adjusted for a 33 day cycle - so right around Christmas! I'm not sure we could go away then, and it would mean a smaller support network. We've got some great neighbours who'd be on hand to help with anything we needed, childcare, lifts etc.

Still trying to get through to MW. Their number seems to have changed 🙈

I can understand why you are considering and a hospital birth isn't everyone's ideal.

If I were you I would push for a properly planned Home birth.

To me the idea of giving birth on my own is horrifying. If I hadn't been in hospital with my first we'd both have died. My DS2 was becoming distressed during labour as well which was picked up by the midwife. She was able to break my waters and deliver him safely as well. Without the midwife present he may well not have made it.

I had a homebirth with a midwife present.
I was low risk.
I had a major PPH before delivery. I received clotting drugs within seconds from the midwife, followed by an emergency transfer in where I was greeted at the door and rushed straight into surgery. I had an emergency section and several transfusions.

If I’d been unattended both myself and my son would have died, quite possibly before the ambulance got there.

Don’t be an idiot.

Guess what ? Your birth experience does not trump the safety of your unborn child.
Childbirth is an extremely dangerous time for mother and baby.
Does your mild dislike of the MW out weigh your desire for a healthy baby?
Women who free birth are as self centered as they come in my opinion.
A totally narcissistic thing to do. Makes me furious.

@Tootyfilou - I don't think you've actually read the thread or my concerns, but thank you for your input anyway. May I suggest a cuppa to calm down?

@Cardiganandcuppa - that must have been terrifying! This is what I need to hear as there aren't that many negative stories that I could find anyway and that made me dubious.

I won't be an idiot - don't worry :) If I was, I wouldn't be researching. I think after hearing from real life experiences, having a snooty, rude & grotty MW present is better than not having one at all!

@strawberrypenguin I'm glad it worked out for you in the end, but must have been scary! Thank you for sharing, it has definitely helped. X

Free-birthing is the norm across quite large parts of the world - this is why childbirth is known to be dangerous. I lived in a village where it was the only choice. Death rates were quite high.

Personally I wouldn’t consider a home birth even with a midwife present, if your hospital transfer time is 30 minutes. You can lose your entire circulating blood volume from an intrapartum haemorrhage in considerably less time than that.
The labour suite keeps a shock pack of 6 pints of O negative blood on stand by. Your home midwife doesn’t.
My second baby was a normal labour and delivery with no warning signs at all. But she arrived almost dead with an Apgar score of 1, convulsing, apnoeic, and with a barely registering heartbeat.
She needed a paediatric crash team, intracardiac adrenaline, intubated, ventilated, 3 different anticonvulsants and a transfer to SCBU.
How in hell do you think a home midwife would cope with that in your house? My DD would have died if I’d had her at home.

Is there any chance the One to One Midwives service is available in your area? www.onetoonemidwives.org
I've had two home births with them despite having previously had an emcs under GA. They are funded by the NHS and the service is free but in my area you wouldn't be told about them you would have to ask/know. Worth checking if your area is covered.

I've just had my third homebirth - things progressed very quickly and the head was out as the midwives arrived. Delivering the placenta was no problem - not sure why someone said the afterbirth was horrendous and gets worse - maybe they meant afterpains? Anyways everything was all fine. Don't listen to sycamore1234 - induction or section isn't the solution. What you need to do is have an appointment with the head of midwifery and express your concerns. They can't make you go into hospital, however if they feel they are not safe from a staffing point of view can recommend you going in. They have to send you a midwife and can't deny you a homebirth, but obviously if there isn't any one to send it becomes tricky. The midwives thought I'd planned a freebirth because I'm a midwife myself, when actually I didn't need anyone one minute then the next thing was I needed to push. I wouldn't recommend a freebirth, hopefully talking to the ejad of midiwfery or a midwifery advocate will reassure you and you can come up with a plan