Shock at doctors attitude for reduced movements

[0310Star]

So last night I went to triage for the 2nd time since Tuesday for reduced movements. I am 39+5 FTM and been having stop/start contraction's for 10 days, had 2 sweeps and a scan last week.
Now I have always been under the impression that if you felt something wasn't right that you go in, and yesterday I felt just that so that's what I did. After all, it's not a mistake you can take back if something were to be wrong!!
Midwives were great, monitoring went fine, they then sent on a doctor at the end to discuss what to do next. In walked a male doctor that basically asked me why on earth I was there, my baby had moved during the monitoring so insinuated I was lying, and also said that since I was there Tuesday I had no reason to be there as that gives you a weeks worth of reassurance after each monitoring session?! Not something I have EVER been told before, in fact I've always been told quite the opposite and to go in as much as I felt I needed to!

I'm not the kind of person to let someone else worry me enough not to call even with that shit attitude, but it got me thinking that some women may genuinely be put off going to triage for such instances if they may be potentially met with that kind of attitude! After I stated to him that I've always been advised to go in if I felt something wasn't right I think he realised I wasn't the type to be fobbed off, and I got a reply of 'oh yes always come in if you feel something isn't right as we can put you on the monitor as many times as needed'... quite a change in his opinion all of a sudden...
When we were leaving we saw him walk out with his coat on, so was clearly the end of his shift. Yes he may have had a rubbish shift, but this is the life of my baby we are talking about.

Is this something that has happened to many other people?! I found it quite astonishing to be honest, and with all these threads on here with woman asking whether they should go in or not when they are concerned got me wondering if this is a contributing factor for some women when deciding whether or not to go in?

Agree endoftheline

OP hasn't said she was ungracious and ungrateful. I'm sure most women are grateful for the care they and their baby receive. However, in this instance her care has been undeniably poor, and if the reason for that was that she wasn't being 'gracious' enough for the doctor's liking, that's not ideal is it. His advice was pretty far off the mark.

It is their job, they are being paid to be there, and that's exactly what a midwife said to me when I told her I felt bad that my baby has been fine each time I have gone in. As she said, movements is the only thing us women can go on, if I feel something is wrong then I will go in.

I work in an office, it's not life of death, and 'the customer is always right'...
You make out I'm a disrespectful person, even though a person who potentially may be in control of the safety of my baby has given me false information, which I KNOW to be false, yet I should have been apologetic?!

He was wrong to say this. However I do also think that when you say you've gone into A&E five times for a straightforward pregnancy and 'arent the type to be fobbed off', it does also sound like you could be on the side of nervy or potentially slightly hard work.
With medical staff as stretched as they are, it can be difficult sometimes for them to see people in dire need and ubderresourced and then a nervous ftm back again for a another scan. Doesn't make it right, but can explain it a bit.

@Nottakenusername if the finances is what you're worried about be rest assured that it would cost more to deal with the complications arising from a lack of movement (including sadly still birth).

The medical profession as a whole has worked really hard to ensure that expectant mums go in every single time there is reduced movement. None of the myths around this are helpful, it's not true that you get less movement at the end, or that a trace is good for a week, or that you need a cold drink and lie down. Reduced/lack of movement should be checked.

OP I do think you should (if you can face it) write to the head of childrens/midwifery and explain what he said and his attitude for two reasons 1. It's just not clinically correct and 2. It could put people off seeking the help they should get.

Oh, and if women had to pay each time they sought reassurance re. Reduced movement, I imagine fewer women would go for monitoring, and more babies would be stillborn. That's what's at stake ultimately.

Please don’t misunderstand me endofthelinefinally, I think the doctor was in the wrong but I would have been relieved, apologetic and grateful if I had went in and then the baby had moved.

Can you really deny that women don’t ever try to pull this one to get an early induction or section after 10days of stop start labour?

I don’t think that is what the op was doing, but I understand doctors frustration.

@nottakenusername how ridiculous. The OP clearly didn't feel the need to be apologetic because SHE COULDN'T FEEL HER BABY MOVING and felt like she needed to be there!! If you'd got stabbed would you go to A&E and say "oh I'm so sorry someone stabbed me and I'm taking up all your time making you do your job"

Just ignore the goady fucker 0310Star

@Namechange128 so what you are saying is that when I feel something is wrong I should ignore it as I've already been in more than some other women?
I am not a difficult patient, or an over user of he nhs, this is something you have assumed, but I do wonder if attitudes like that would prevent other women who may be more sensitive to situations from seeking help for worry of feeling a nuisance..

Wow really? That's erm....an Interesting take on it!!!
Why would she apologise?!

If I hadn't gone in due to reduced movements/feeling something, DD wouldn't be here today. When I arrived at the hospital, I did get the impression the midwives thought I was just being over-anxious, and just monitored me to humour me. As soon as they got the trace on, I was straight in for an emergency section, DD was born about 20 minutes later & straight into Special Nursery. The placenta had been failing and she'd been not getting enough oxygen. Always trust your instincts. The Dr in your case is so wrong, it's worrying that he is giving out bad information like this.

As a midwife I’d rather see a woman 20x in her pregnancy and there be nothing wrong each time than have her not make the phone call that one time.

If there’s reduced feral movement they need to be seen, even if they were seen the day before, even if they’ve already been seen 10x. Doesn’t matter. I would never think such a visit was a waste of time.

Fetal not feral!

I can’t believe some of the attitudes here! Do people honestly not realise that a not insignificant percentage of babies die shortly before birth?

Where I live, monitoring referrals go through your midwife and they sent me to hospital maybe 3 times in the last week of pregnancy with DC2.

I remember one woman being really apologetic when her baby was moving so much and saying sorry for wasting their time. The midwife was emphatic: “We’re dealing with human lives here”, she boomed across the ward loud enough for everyone to hear it. “We’d rather see you 99 times for nothing than risk not seeing you that one time that there’s a problem.”

That doctor was a dick.

Cross-posted Nico!

I remember the midwife saying to me when sending me in yet again, “You’re so close [to giving birth], it would be terrible if something went wrong now”.

DC2 is school agr now and happily watching YouTube next to me. Some mothers/children are not so lucky, when it could have been avoided.

@nottaken and what about the women who couldn't afford to pay a fee at point of access? Just leave the poorer babies to die is it?

Most fucking ridiculous comment I've seen on mn and I've been here a long time.

Op, I'm glad all was and that you were able to defend yourself, not that you should have needed too.

I was in for monitoring every other day, still nearly lost my son due to placental failure. That doctor is giving out seriously dangerous advice.

I never say this as I support the NHS and think they are underfunded and overworked. But complain as this is quite frankly dangerous advice. The next person he tells this to may listen and end up loosing their baby.

Monitoring only lets you know everything is ok at that point in time. I have lost a baby . The circumstances were different but would not wish that on anyone.

Even if we took this out of the context of doctors and babies. If I gave my client incorrect advice and had a bad attitude, my boss wouldn’t care if the client had Grace or Gratitude. I know doctors are only human but in that same context they can also be wrong and in this case he shouldn’t be punishing people and making them feel bad for utilising the service (as they’ve been told to do) because some other people take advantage. Sorry, people taking the piss is not my problem and if I feel concerned for my babies welfare (even if it’s anxiety induced and not ‘real’) it’s their job to check and they really shouldn’t be making anyone feel bad for utilising the service.if there’s a problem with that at their hospital there are other ways to deal with it and in many cases valid reasons for people being overly cautious

@NotTakenUsername Enough now. Your comments are not helpful. I'm sure OP couldn't care less if you would have been apologetic and grateful - good for you have a gold star for your perfect attitude.
OP carry on doing what you are doing and put your baby's health first. You sound very strong and able to do what you know is right.
I clearly remember gojng in for a planned C section and a (female) doctor becoming very annoyed with me when reading that I had had several private scans throughout my pregnancy. She didn't bother reading the rest of my notes, if she had then she would have noticed that I had previously had a late miscarriage at 20 weeks. The scans were for my own reassurance and non of her business. Anyway, my pint being, do what is right for you and your baby and ignore the grumpy doctor, and the goady poster.
Best of luck for a safe birth.

Oops should have proof read before posting, several typos there

I just wanted to say that the OP is completely in the right. I lost my baby at 27 weeks, mainly because I listened to mw and the maternity triage unit about her movements not being consistent at 27 weeks and that what I was feeling as RFM wasn't real. I believed them, and felt like I was causing a fuss in going back in again and when I did my baby was already gone. RFM are not to be messed with, this is the only chance your baby has to tell you that something is wrong.
That's it end of. And as previous posters have said, pregnancy after loss where my care will basically be monitoring every week, with detailed scans, mental health referrals, additional time, consultant appointments only will cost the NHS much more money in the long run.
Monitoring for RFM is the only way we can try to save these babies. The stillbirth rates in the UK are ridiculously high for a developed country, so advising people to be grateful when their doctor has been a dick is not helpful.
OP you absolutely did the right thing, don't even flinch if you have to go back every day this week. Good luck.

Anyone reading this PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT listen to the comments of NotTakenUsername

I went in for RFM several times with DD1. Often when she was actually moving, I could not feel it. She was fine.

With my next pregnancy, I also often couldn't feel movements. DH and I would often to say to one another, ah but this is just the same as last time, perhaps I won't go in, I don't want to waste their time....

The last week of my pg I went in on the Sun and then again on the Thurs. On the Sun, all well - on the Thurs, the MW was concerned and ordered an ultrasound which showed that cord blood flow was compromised. A few more days and the flow through the cord would have reversed, causing brain damage.

I was induced that weekend and DS is luckily fine.

But I felt exactly the same at the Sun scan when all fine and the Thurs scam when it wasn't you. You have no way of knowing when it is a false alarm and when not, so always go in!!!

Thank you to the posters who have been very supportive of my decision to go in and be checked.
As far as I'm concerned the only way to look at it is if there was something wrong that I'd have ignored it's not a mistake I can take back. I feel some of the negative posts on here only heighten people's anxieties about being checked for fear of wasting time, and in turn is why there are so many posts on here of people unsure whether they should be checked.
I pay my national insurance, I've never over used the NHS, if I had to pay to check my baby was safe then I would do so (not that I feel the suggestion of that is at all relevant to this topic) but we are all told time and time again to get checked for reduced movements so I for one will be following that advice...

This is (thank god) why we have an NHS with a founding tenant free at the point of need !! not left to self diagnose and make decisions about their health (and in this case baby's health) based on guess work and ability to pay.

The 'paying for drunks' argument is equally invalid unless you think it's perfectly ok for some silly teenager to die in their own vomit because they made a stupid mistake and drank too much.

It makes us a 'civilised country' where health and life is not related to ones bank balance. An institution that is far from perfect due to chronic underfunding but nonetheless one that I for one would fight to my last breath to defend and be grateful for.

I have lived in two countries where the health care doesn't have this system and have seen the consequences.