What to do if you hate being pregnant..

[Panda368]

So this IG post set me off last night and lead to some ugly ugly crying at about 1am while hiding in the spare room so I didn’t wake my boyfriend. I’m not a crier and in his words “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry like that before” we’ve been together 5 years now so he has quite a lot to go by.

I’m 24 weeks today and I hate being pregnant. Hate it hate it hate it. I’ve not had a bad time, barely had any morning sickness only reciently started showing. Very occasional heartburn etc. Got pregnant within 4 weeks of deciding we were going to stop “avoiding it” which was a shock.

Basically so far it’s been the easiest pregnancy going so I have no excuse but I just cannot bare it. The clostrophia of having my body taken over. Not being able to sleep on my stomach or excersise the way I normally would. Being kicked randomly when I want to be left alone, the massive disgusting boobs. Not being able to work out if I’m fully justified in being upset about something or if it’s hormones. And I feel awful because I can’t summon up even a scrap of the enjoyment this post has. Surely I’m not some lone freak?

And I know some people are so desperate to be pregnant or have such hard pregnancy’s the above sounds like the most entitled whine ever but how is it possible to enjoy this process? Help!

I hear you op. That fucking horse shit poem is just pressure to feel a certain way about an experience which, for a lot of women, is not pleasant, no matter how loved and wanted your baby is. Just because pregnancy is "amazing" does NOT mean you have to enjoy it - it's shitty to go through ime. I've had a crap time, spd, sickness, exhaustion, heartburn and all the rest. It's a difficult and shitty time, and no I won't be made to feel guilty for telling the truth about how I feel by some emotionally manipulative cunts insinuating I owe it to the universe or infertile people to suffer in silence.

Hi.. I could have written this post. I'm sorry, I have no advice. I tried to explain my feelings, have cried more than I've ever done in my life, but people just brush it off as hormones. I wanted to get pregnant but now it's happening there are just so many stupid things which make me feel so negative. Taking time off work, not earning money, stretch marks, having to buy new clothes, taking out my belly bar, the tiredness, the feeling like everything is taking over and I have no control. Nothing changes for DP... The frustration I feel like it's all down to me. Eventually I just shut up. Tried to say the right thing, the things that people want to hear. I don't think there is a cure, just a slow acceptance and perhaps a feeling like it will be better when your baby is here and you can try to regain some of yourself again? I don't know.. But that's what in hoping for. I'm hoping it will be better when the baby comes. But we will see. Take it easy, you are not alone.

It's a means to an end, that's what I tell myself.

It's shit. I don't know a single woman in real life who likes pregnancy like all these bloody memes and posts suggest. I've had a relatively easy ride of it, and I'm honestly grateful and know I'm so lucky to be in this position.

But that doesn't stop it being a huge ballache. All the things I can't do, feeling ever more tired, not being able to enjoy the lovely summer, and at 27 weeks I'm really starting to waddle. And yeah, as mat leave draws nearer I'm feeling more crap about time off work, and what will happen when I'm not there.

All we can do is suck it up, but it's ok to moan too. Have some cake ladies, you've earned it

This is exactly how I think I would feel and I am not pregnant yet. The scary thing is.. I’m not 100% sure I want to have a baby to begin with so this just adds to it.
I’m really sorry you are feeling this way OP, just remember you want this baby, you will love this baby and once it’s here you will forget all this other stuff. X

That's right. It is a means to an end.

I had HG and SPD with all 3. Hated hated hated it.

But if you are unhappy about not being in control, not being able to do what you want, then motherhood isn't going to be much different. Sorry.

Yea, especially on this heatwave.

You’re not letting the side down for womankind , you’re just honest.

When it’s out you can put it down, it’s a joy!
All the best to you with it all.

I'm 30 weeks pregnant and whilst I wouldn't say I hate it, I dislike it and I most definitely don't love it like I expected to because the world is full of bullshit posts like your photo about how magical it all is

I've not even had it especially difficult. Ive had no sickness whatsoever and didn't even feel pregnant until past 20 weeks. But my hips now hurt. I can't move in ways I want. I get too hot too quickly. I don't like it being dictated to me what I can/can't eat or drink. My immune system is fucked so I'm picking up colds left right and centre. I can't sleep on my stomach and I can't remember when I last slept through an entire night. Pregnancy is just a bit shit imo.

Feel very sorry for any woman pregnant in this heatwave. It's shit.

I hear you and completely agree with everything you have said. Magical it is bloody not. I hate my body. I hate having to be so careful about what I eat, how I exercise, how I sleep. I hate the comments.
I'm guessing this is your first time. It's mine too. We just have to hope that the love for our babies replaces all of this.

I hear you!!!

I hate it too OP! DS is nearly 12 months old and we're about to start TTC number 2, I don't dread the newborn fog at all but I can't bear the thought of being pregnant again!

I was like you and had an easy pregnancy, I went overdue and those last days were fairly hard going but I just lay about watching Netflix so I didn't have a lot to complain about. The pp is right about seeing it as a means to an end, I found the newborn stage 100 times better than pregnancy.

Plus this heatwave is not fair for any pregnant woman!

It’s good to not be alone! I think I scrolled down all the comments below that post and there were so many gushy “I loved every wriggle and dry heave” type comments I went and Googled “what to do if you hate being pregnant” and burst into tears.

Google wasn’t very helpful as you’ve probs guessed! I think I was already a little on edge before tbh, Id spent a full day with boyfriends family being told how well I’m looking (I hear fat) and being asked “how are you getting on?” to which I couldn’t reply that I’d quite like to climb out of my body and escape... I’ve not worked out any good replies to well meaning questions as other than with by boyfriend I don’t particularly like discussing the pregnancy.

I’d shouted at boyfriend because he tried to shut the window before we went to bed, then was pissed off again when he fell asleep while I was sulking in the bathroom because of window-gate.

I think I’m just totally losing it this weekend tbh, probably not helped by the bastard Cat waking me up at 5am each morning climbing in/out of the open bedroom window.

I hear you, absolutely I could have written this post. I love DD and would love another baby but really don’t think I could do another pregnancy. This sounds terrible but what saved my sanity was a scheduled caesarean at bang on 39 weeks. I disagree completely with if you are unhappy about not being in control, not being able to do what you want, then motherhood isn't going to be much different. I love motherhood, I just hate pregnancy.

Whoever wrote that crock of shit clearly never experienced pregnancy haemorrhoids like mine.

3 babies in 4 years and I can't look at grapes without wincing.

I hate being pregnant. Currently 35 weeks in this fucking heatwave, I'm not enjoying a single second of summer or pregnancy. You are right in that there is no escape, I just try and have a countdown going in my head all the time. Luckily I'm nearing the end now, but the end always feels so much slower because I always feel worse

Doesn't help either that my DM always says "god you're massive, I was never that big with you" and DMIL apparently had the pregnancy glow with DH

I'm totally with you! I'm looking forward to the baby actually being here but so far not enjoying being pregnant at all for pretty much all the reasons you've said, plus the sickness, nausea, bloating, food aversions, lack of appetite....and more to come I'm sure!

“If you are unhappy about not being in control, not being able to do what you want, then motherhood isn't going to be much different.”

This is my nightmare but I comfort myself that I will have the option of
1 - passing it to my boyfriend
2 - sleeping on my stomach - even if it’s disrupted.
3 - there won’t be an alien clawing round my insides and jumping on my bladder when I try to run.

Pregnancy sucks. I had a bad time first time around but I didn't feel like I was me the whole time. Now 4 weeks pregnant and know it is a long road ahead! I think what you are feeling is completely normal. I hate when people say "pregnancy isn't an illness" yeah right, I get that, but it is no bloody walk in the park either!

Ps, Motherhood is completely different and you get back to ourself eventually. Well, maybe a tad different, but in my experience, all good!

I hear you, OP. I'm 30+5. I've got spd, a back spasm that's aggravated by a) lack of exercise because of the spd and b) lying on my left, it's hot AF and now I've got a summer cold! And I worry about reduced movements at least a couple of times a day. Definitely my last (second) pregnancy.

It's shite, I really think I get a sort of pre-natal depression, once baby is here I'm fine but pregnancy is awful, I'm just dull and lethargic and my brain doesn't work.

Yup I’m with you! And that quote about “not enjoying not being in control” making you a crap mum is absolute horseshit. I’m currently pregnant with DD2 and still don’t enjoy it for all the reasons you say. After DD1 was born I suggested DH might like to carry the next one. He just gave me some crap about biology. But I love being a mum and don’t think I’m a total disaster.

Like pp I remind myself that ultimately it’s a means to an end and am coping much better mentally this time round, trying to make my peace with the fact I’m just a bit crap at being pregnant but it’s totally worth it in the end

Yeah I've pretty much hated it so far it's my first I'm 6 months gone