What to do if you hate being pregnant..

[Panda368]

So this IG post set me off last night and lead to some ugly ugly crying at about 1am while hiding in the spare room so I didn’t wake my boyfriend. I’m not a crier and in his words “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry like that before” we’ve been together 5 years now so he has quite a lot to go by.

I’m 24 weeks today and I hate being pregnant. Hate it hate it hate it. I’ve not had a bad time, barely had any morning sickness only reciently started showing. Very occasional heartburn etc. Got pregnant within 4 weeks of deciding we were going to stop “avoiding it” which was a shock.

Basically so far it’s been the easiest pregnancy going so I have no excuse but I just cannot bare it. The clostrophia of having my body taken over. Not being able to sleep on my stomach or excersise the way I normally would. Being kicked randomly when I want to be left alone, the massive disgusting boobs. Not being able to work out if I’m fully justified in being upset about something or if it’s hormones. And I feel awful because I can’t summon up even a scrap of the enjoyment this post has. Surely I’m not some lone freak?

And I know some people are so desperate to be pregnant or have such hard pregnancy’s the above sounds like the most entitled whine ever but how is it possible to enjoy this process? Help!

Op you’re not alone. I absolutely hated pregnancy. I hated not being able to sleep on my tummy. I hated needing a small crane to get me up (in later pregnancy.) I hated being 2 weeks overdue and having to be induced; being 42 weeks pregnant isn’t fun. I hated how every time i coughed I felt like my bellybutton was going to pop. I hated how my stomach looked like a small island in the bath. I hated it all but I love love love my baby who is now a precocious little toddler. It’s worth it but I’m dreading my next pregnancy because I now know what’s to come!

Read those simpering Instagram posts with a pinch of salt.

I know someone personally who runs a mummy-blog on instagram- what she writes and the actual realities of her life are two different things. These bloggers anger me so much with their idealised version of pregnancy and motherhood which make new mums feel like total shit because they aren’t meeting the totally unrealistic expectations that they see on social media.

I completely agree - it’s a never ending sacrifice. Once one thing goes another thing takes it place. I haven’t really enjoyed it one bit. Just because you hate pregnancy doesn’t make you a lesser woman or mother- show me the person who loves it! I literally don’t understand!

I'm 38+5 and I can completely relate to everything that's been said on this post! I've hated it, like really hated it, but looking back now the time has passed relatively quickly. I just took it week by week, each week was one step closer to my due date and it will be over before you know it.
I can't wait to meet my baby and be a mum, I know I will love it, but I've found pregnancy so so hard and couldn't think of anything worse than being pregnant again in close succession!
It has made me wonder whether or not I will want anymore children, and I honestly don't know if I could go through pregnancy again, luckily my DP is very supportive of whatever I decide as he knows how hard I've found it.
The best way I can describe it as it's 24/7 of no control, and I am a control freak which is probably why I've found it hard! There is just no break from it and I've suffered with quite a lot of different ailments throughout. I'm now stuck in a really slow beginning of labour, day 4 of on and off contractions and I feel like I am being teased with the end of my pregnancy being so close lol

Chin up, tomorrow is a new day, and honestly it will be over before you know

You’re definitely not alone. I didn’t mind pregnancy for the first few weeks but the tiredness, having to watch what you eat, having to sleep on your side, and just generally feeling like a whale with an alien inside was awful. Luckily I now have a healthy 8 week old DD and while it’s not exactly easy, at least I can put her down once in a while and enjoy the sun.

Hang in there OP and remember it’s a means to an end. Unless you have been through it yourself, you will never ever understand it so your boyfriend might not “get it” but there will be plenty of women who do

Ahh OP you're not alone ...i liked pregnancy for about two weeks and 18 hours ( in a total of 18 months because I have two DC....thats across both pregnancies)

I adore my DC and whilst motherhood is no sodding picnic totally worth it ...the relief of getting my body back to myself and be the sole occupier was a wonderful feeling

It's not about control it's about the shock of sharing your body with another human....especially the first time

Don't beat yourself up there are lots of people who insist on telling you to appreciate every moment etc etc

No-one does that without being pregnant or having children anyway

Who in hell pops into Sainsbury's an hour before they close on a Sunday and thinks " I really appreciate this moment"...anymore than you should be for the thirty fifth time in a night you've had to get up for a wee because the babies tap dancing on your bladder?

You'll appreciate the bits that matter and ignore the other smug prats....its all for the gram anyway

🙋🏻‍♀️ I'm with you on this one OP! I'm
On my second pregnancy, hated it first time round and hate it this time. The thing that made me do it a second time was loving being a mum to my DS (so ignore the unhelpful comment about control/motherhood).

I've had no morning sickness, I can't exercise how I'd like, but have no real
Pregnancy symptoms whatsoever. I hate the big boobs, awful maternity clothes, people asking "but how ARE you" with the awkward glance at my bump, people thinking they can all of a sudden touch my stomach without asking (wtf?!?!), i also hate the loss of control, I could go on....

I've yet to find anyone who said they "glowed" or loved it. My sister had 4 kids so I assumed she enjoyed it - nope, she hated it too. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You can be grateful for being pregnant and feel blessed while still recognising that it's painful, unpleasant, and not an enjoyable time. I barely slept for about six months due to a combination of joint pain and intense itching. I was so itchy I'd lie awake all night crying and clawing at my skin. I hated getting bigger and watching my perfect stomach being irreversibly ruined with permanent scars.

We spend our whole lives being conditioned to think that thin is beautiful, it's really hard to gain weight and not feel bad about it. My biggest fear was that I'd never get my body back. Six months later I still can't look at myself in the mirror - I'm two stone overweight with stretch marks and saggy skin. I'm still trying to think positive and hoping that losing weight will improve my appearance. I love my baby but don't see why I should be expected to love what he's done to my body.

I was pregnant 4 times in under 6 years and hated every minute of it. As soon as the sickness went, the SPD kicked in, I remember crying in pain with it all. Acid reflux as well. It was shit, however, I did have fast labours and life with a newborn was far easier than being pregnant for me, at least I could walk.

It’s a means to an end, just cross off each day x

You can be grateful for being pregnant and feel blessed while still recognising that it's painful, unpleasant, and not an enjoyable time.

Exactly.

I am one of those ladies that have been desperate to become pregnant. We were txt for 4 years and then IVF for a year before it worked.
But you know what, I completely agree Op.
I thought it would be 9months filled with magical bump hugging.Glowing completion, luscious locks and I’d be skipping through fields with a lovely bump.
I reacted really badly to all of the IVF medication, hyper ovarian syndrome, mood swings like you wouldn’t believe, bloating etc.
Then it worked, amazing best feeling in the world...HG kicked in at 6 weeks. Then the anxiety started, would I lose my much sought after baby? After 12 weeks that fear got worse, it’s plauged my pregnancy. Didn’t help that a ‘lovely’ lady decided to talk to me about something you should not be mentioning to somebody that’s pregnant. It’s put my anxiety through the roof.
I do not glow, I don’t have luscious locks, I can barley waddle to the shops and I’m melting in the heat. I can’t sleep and I cry everyday because I’m so scared that she’s going to be taken away. I only feel relief for the duration that I get a scan, as soon as I walk out of the room, it’s back to being a paranoid wreck.
I feel like a moany ungrateful cow because I should be cherishing every second...but I know I’m so lucky to be having her and I do love her so much already. I just haven’t enjoyed my pregnancy and it will be okay when I hold her in my arms.

@CanaBanana I just wanted to say that 6 months post partum is still early in the scheme of things. I’m 16 months postpartum now and only just starting to feel like myself again and be happier with what I see in the mirror. The scars/stretch marks will heal and fade with time, mine look so much better and much firmer than they did at your stage. I also have just starting to be in the right mindset to lose the rest of the weight and almost there. I can’t tell you why difference time makes. What you see now is certainly not the end result. It took ages for my ribs to shrink and my waist to come back, it takes 9 months to grow baby and that time and more to recover. It’s best to lose it slowly and when you’re ready. My head wasn’t in it for ages and cake and chocolate kept me going when my baby wouldn’t sleep and screamed the house down with reflux. 🙋🏼‍♀️Go easy on yourself and Just know that you got this and one day you will feel like you again but a much stronger version and it’s a great feeling.

what a difference *

God, that's such a hideous post! Yes, it's pretty awesome what our bodies do, but it don't exactly feel magical! I'm 28 weeks pregnant, barely a day has gone by in the past 5 months where I haven't felt sick to some extent, I've vomited at work, in front of extended family in law, wet myself while teaching year 7, I burp and fart uncontrollably, I can't eat normally etc etc Yet some people's FIL idea is that it's all part and parcel of it, so it must be OK. I haven't even mentioned the breakdown I've had due to having to change medication. Gushy pregnancy posts can fuck right off!

All you have to do is hang in there. Even if you have a very overdue baby you’re more than half way now and as your bump gets bigger it’ll start getting cooler which I’m sure will help.

I was delighted to be pregnant, but pregnancy is HARD! Especially if you were a bit of a cardio junkie before (couple of your posts suggest this) and feel a bit lost without exercise. On this note, do definitely get checked by a women’s health physio after delivery and before you start running/lifting/impact sports again as it’s easy to mess up your pelvic floor overloading it too soon.

And I felt very mixed about the day to day business of being pregnant, but I bloody love being a mother.

Ignore trite quote shite. Lots of women feel similarly to you.

I liked aspects of pregnancy but had a bad time with others.

For me, the birth and postnatal times were even worse. DC1 would take a bottle (of expressed milk in my case, we introduced it when DC1 was just a couple of weeks old) and being able to get (gentle!) some exercise in the daytime was brilliant. Was too exhausted at night. The leisure centre had a creche and DC1 did an hour there twice a week, and I sometimes left DC1 with DH for another slot at the weekend. It was good to get back in touch with my body. Didn’t exercise for several years after returning to work, fertility problems then having DC2, which was bad for my physical and mental health. Got back to it for mental health reasons when DC2 was a toddler.

You are most certainly not alone.

First DC. Antenatal depression. SPD. Constant HG. I kept having tha alien dream (chest bursting). Therapist asked what I did about it. Apparently "watch All the Alien movies" wasn't an acceptable answer. Even though it helped get rid of the dreams

DC2 didn't happen for nearly 5ys. Even worse SPD (lifelong damage to hips) and I felt so fucking dreadful all the time. As placenta was being dealt with after the birth I looked down at the midwife and said "oh isn't it wonderful, I'm not pregnant any more!" I think she just stared open mouthed but my husband started doing a jig.

He's been snipped. I've been tied. Never will I go through that again.

And don't worry. How you cope with pregnancy has NO bearing on motherhood - two entirely different experiences. And life is so much easier when your body is your own.

I h

I'm only 14 weeks but I feel very much the same so far. I just want to feel like me again instead if an incubator. I'm sick of getting up to wee through the night, I can't get bloody anything done because I'm utterly utterly exhausted constantly and the constant low level nausea and food aversion is getting in my nerves. I'm terrified of my body changing, I'm terrified of how I'm going to get this baby out and I'm terrified of getting PND after it all (very prone to depressive episodes). Claustrophobia is absolutely right. I feel trapped. I've had a couple of glimpses of feeling excited about having my baby in my arms when this is all over but so far the negative feelings outweigh the positive by far.
Thank you for posting this. I'm so pleased it's not just me.

You just have to get through it. Being pregnant was the worst time of my life by far. And yes I'm lucky that a relatively normal pregnancy was the worst thing, first world problems and all.

Being sick every day and feeling my skin stretch out. Can't sit or even lie down comfortably! People told me "oh when baby is here you'll look back and think that pregnancy was easy by comparison, you'll wish he was back inside". I cried when I heard that.

But my baby is 10 weeks old now and I haven't wished that for a single second. Even the day after my c section I walking around easier than I had in months. I felt like skipping down the corridor. In fact I'm still on a high feeling so great! I sit down to each meal with a big smile on my face that I'm not sick. I lie down in bed on my front saying "ahhhhhhhh yeah".

But you can't get angry at posts like that, or say they are lying. Maybe she really did have a good experience, and good for her if so. Other people dont, and that's fine too.

Agreed with PP about taking anything you see on social media with a pinch of salt. It’s just not real life. Even if you breeze through pregnancy without any remote bad symptom (which is doubtful tbh since every woman ends up spending their life in the loo towards the end and struggles to sleep because it’s difficult to get comfortable!), there’s still the constant poking and prodding of needles, scan probes and Dopplers and of course the kicks which can be uncomfortable and downright weird at times.

Pregnancy is no easy feat at all and I think shit like this is just another way to make women feel guilty.

I’m 31 weeks pregnant today, which means I’ve been in crippling pain for 27.5 weeks. I’ve had to give up my work, driving,my independence, it’s been awful. I’ve wanted a baby all my life, and always thought I’d like to have 2 children. However based on my experience so far I don’t know if I could ever put myself through this again. Forums like this have been a huge help as they show the reality of pregnancy and that’s it’s very difficult for some people.

I detested being pregnant and don't think I will ever do it again after just one time. Constant sickness until 16 weeks which was then replaced with spd from 19 weeks until 1 week postpartum, the insane anxiety of counting the kicks/how will I survive labour/am I even fucking cut out for this/have I made a massive mistake?!?!

a varicose vein ON MY VAGINA, piles, dizzy spells, the absolute agony of rib pain caused by a bony bum wedged up underneath them, the stretch marks, the swollen feet and fingers (getting my wedding ring cut off me), the wild hormones/crying, wetting myself, the awful uncomfortable clothes, not sleeping on my tummy, the heart burn, the back ache, the weight gain (3.5 stone!) - in comparison to the pro's list the con's were a clear winner.

Eventually it will be over and you'll have a whole host of new issues but by god they won't be half as bad as being pregnant is. I remember literally 2 days after giving birth standing outside my house in the sunshine thinking "thank fucking god I'm not pregnant anymore" and sleeping on your tummy is such a lovely novelty for about an entire month afterwards 😊

Bibbitybobbity I was the same as you during pregnancy and have total sympathy.U had total anxiety thinking I've wanted this for so long what if it gets taken away from me?,I was convinced I would miscarry then when I got to full term it was stillbirth that I was worrying about I woudnt eve talk about the baby much in case it 'tempted fate'

On a positive note, having a horrible pregnancy (for whatever reason) makes the newborn phase easier imo as you're so happy to no longer be pregnant!