Not having sex

[CathyandHeathcliff]

This is going to be TMI, but apart from the very early weeks, we haven't had sex this entire pregnancy. He keeps trying it on but I don't want it, I'm scared something will happen, I know it's irrational. I'm happy to have sex when I'm past 25 weeks (another 4 weeks) but not currently.

Is this normal? We do other things. I'm worried that when we do end up doing it, it'll hurt as it's been so long! 😳 Especially if we wait until after the birth and he's quite wide (sorry if tmi again!)

There isn't really a 'normal' as everyone is different. I was really sick with HG for the first few months of my pregnancy so we didn't have any sexual encounters at all until I was about 20 weeks and by about 30 weeks we had given up on trying because I just couldn't enjoy it, I think I had 'engorgement' down there which happens to some women as it was just far too sensitive, so I wasn't comfortable really being touched which meant I was too dry for penetration and I was struggling to find comfortable positions with my bump growing etc. I still give him oral every fortnight or so (I'm 39 weeks) and in-between if he wants he just masturbates. He's never put any pressure on me and understands why I don't want to have sex. We are both looking forward to rekindling our sex lives a bit once I've recovered from birth although appreciate that could still be a couple of months away.

However don't worry about sex harming the baby or anything like that, as long as you haven't been told by your healthcare providers to refrain from sex, there is nothing dangerous about sex for the baby. But obviously if you don't want to, then you just don't want to, you don't need to justify it to anyone.

It is fine not to have sex, but really the second trimester is the one that is most comfortable for sex so I would enjoy it while you can. As long as you haven't been told not to then you won't do any harm. However if you really can't relax then you won't enjoy it so continue as you are.