More cake for more babies... BFP after MC

[Cakelaur]

Here we go ladies...

Somewhere around 12/14 weeks. That's why morning sickness TENDS to decrease around then.

Morning ladies, can I join please? Moving across from the TTC after MC board as I have had 3BFPs this week but been too scared to believe them. I'm 4 weeks today but don't want to get my hopes up so hoping for some support!

This is my second pregnancy, the first ended in March with a MMC at 12 weeks. We heard the baby's heart beating at an 8 week scan. I knew in my heart something was wrong around 10 weeks but everyone told me I was being paranoid. Really hope this pregnancy is successful as I don't think I can cope with another MC and I don't think my husband will let me try again!

@redrobin welcome over. Congratulations! I don't really have any words of advice. I've had 2 scans (6 and 9 weeks) to help get to 12 weeks mentally. I've told people gradually who knew about my MC. I've found it hard that they've been excited, so that's something to prepare for.

I'll be 12 weeks tomorrow and we have a scan. I'm hoping I can be excited a bit more after that. I'm much more nervous about this one than the other ones. I've seen people like you have heartbeats at previous scans and nothing at 12 weeks. I try to reassure myself that in reality it is a really small proportion of people who experience that. Being on these boards and having first hand experience of MC makes it very difficult to think like that though.

Everyone here is very supportive and knows what you're going through so lean on us when you're struggling.

I should add I've seen many people go on to have successful pregnancies after MC so there really is hope for all of us that we'll get there one day.

Hi RedRobin7 . Welcome, I think it's best to just take it one day at a time!

Posted too soon. I had a mc at 10/11 weeks, it is so difficult but the anxiety does get easier as the weeks go by in this 9pregnancy x

I’m really keen to have another scan at 9 weeks but I don’t know. What do you all think, is it worth it? I’m feeling much better after my scan the other day but now I’m thinking what if something happens in the next few weeks and doesn’t show until 12 week scan! The worry never stops does it 🤦‍♀️ Don’t know how to talk my OH into paying another £100 either... 😬

@hayleyfx I've been changing my mind about an early scan for weeks. My mmc was discovered at 9 weeks but baby had stopped growing a week before. So I could have gone for an 8 week scan and thought all was ok. I'm not sure whether it's better just to wait for the 12 week point as I'm not sure how I'd cope with hearing a heartbeat at an earlier stage and then losing it. Just my opinion though (and I'll probably change my mind again tomorrow!!)

@hayleyfx I know what you mean but I'm so relieved I have a 9 week scan booked in for Tuesday next week. I felt 6-12 week wait was going to test my nerves too much & the doctor who scanned me at 6 weeks did say that by 9 weeks if it's all still looking on time and good then the risk of MC does reduce a huge amount. Obviously there's never a guarantee but personally I'm really relieved I've got it coming up. Even though I'll be shaking like a leaf on Tuesday morning! Are you not able to get a second reassurance scan on nhs? Both of mine are nhs at the early pregnancy unit but perhaps it depends what area you're in xx

@maxiflump1 it’s a really tough decision, I hope it all works out perfectly for you this time!

@BabynameEdie I think I would feel so much better having another scan booked for 9 weeks too. I have my booking in appointment on Monday with midwife so will check but if not I’ll just pay the £100 for private! The reassurance is so worth it (& I hope it’s good news for both of us 🤞) x

Welcome @RedRobin7 massive congrats on the bfp. Just take it one step at a time. And do what makes you comfortable. I'm now 14+3 and still take it a day at a time. But each day gets a tiny bit easier.

@hayleyfx I've had a scan at 6,8,10 and 12 weeks. I've now got a Doppler, so I can hear baby at home. I'm going to try to get to 20weeks without another scan but I may crack at 16weeks.

@Daffodil77 massive milestone 12 weeks. Good luck for the scan tomorrow. I'm sure bub is nice and cosy in there.

LADIES IM SO EXCITED!!! I had a whole day with no sickness!!! I don't wanna jinx it... but it may be coming to an end!

@RedRobin7 welcome to this board and quiet congratulations for getting here, even that is a massive step. I say quiet only because when I got my bfp after my MC, I really didn't want to do more than whisper about it as was so anxious it would go wrong again. As @Daffodil77 said, I've found it hard how excited people are around me (and I've only told a few-those who knew about my MC). They all seem to bat away my worries over having another MC and say I'm being negative and I should try to think positively. I find that grating and a bit too much pressure, but I know they're doing it out of love. I hope you're ok, I guess all we can do is take it a day at a time and actually my life has stayed pretty busy which is helping the days tick away. Listen to your body and lean on us here if/when you need support! X

@Cakelaur that's great news about the lack of 🤢 woohoo! Hope it lasts for you. Am so envious that you're at 14 weeks already! Cannot wait for my 9 week scan next week, although also v anxious too! Hope cake life is going well!

@cakelaur Glad to hear you're feeling less sick!

Congratulations @Murderino and @RedRobin7. It’s such a strange feeling isn’t it, over the moon to be pregnant but totally terrified of something going wrong again. @RedRobin7** I also heard a heartbeat at 8 weeks but went on to mc at 10 weeks so can’t imagine relaxing at any point- certainly not before 12 weeks.

I know I shouldn’t complain but I don’t really have any symptoms yet. My boobs are tender (not quite sore) every now and again and I’ve felt a bit ‘wobbly’ (nowhere near nauseous) the last few days. I’m only 5+1, do you think that’s ok?

@rdm10 I know it's easier said than done but try not to worry, I was exactly the same and barely felt I was pregnant until I got to maybe 6.5 weeks. I didn't really have any symptoms then suddenly I was hit by nausea, extreme tiredness and now my emotions are all over the place! I really worried about lack of symptoms, and now I have them I'm worrying about everything else! 🤦‍♀️ it's non stop! Hope you find the next few weeks ok and that they don't go too slowly x

Hey all - thanks again for the congrats!

I have a dilemma, off to Dublin with my uni friends (all lads) next weekend and not sure how to get around the no drinking thing undetected. I need an excuse better than the antibiotics cliche because I think they'll guess! Any suggestions very welcome!

@Murderino yeah antibiotics thing doesn’t work- as you can actually drink on 99% of them even if they say not to.
Erm it’s not one of those dry months is it- could you say that you are doing something for charity? Tell them you had a nasty night recently and it’s out you off. Special diet to get healthy for summer? Are you much of a drinker anyway.
I remember a previous pregnancy going on a spa day with friends and I told them I had thrush so that’s why I wouldn’t go in the steam room and jacuzzi

@Primrose16 thanks for this - I'm not much of a drinker anymore but these guys are the exception- they're my best friends and one of them lives in another country now so whenever we get together it's an occasion - they won't buy the charity thing. It's tough as I don't want to pretend I'm ill 😫

Can't believe you faked thrush haha def no questions asked after that

@Murderino ha ha worked a treat. 😂 unfortunately that pregnancy turned out to be a mmc.
If they are your close friends could you tell them?
I am quite open with pregnancy now and don’t really keep it a massive secret. I have had 4 mc and every time I have needed my close friends support, I figure why would I keep it a secret if I would tell them about a loss?
Could you say it’s early days. You don’t want fuss, you want it kept between them.

@Murderino personally I'd do that. And just mention it. Or drink tonic and say it's a gin and tonic. Or put appletiser in a champagne glass etc. But I've found it to be so much easier to just come out with it. You get less questions and also people don't try and bend all the rules. 😉

Thank you for welcoming me ladies! I'm still struggling to believe it but I'm feeling so queasy already and I didn't at this point last time so I'm hoping it's a good sign. Also feeling bloated and had to quickly do up my shorts when the postman knocked!!

@BabynameEdie You're so right! I told my counsellor yesterday and she's the only person who knows besides my husband. She was so pleased for me and said congrats but I wanted to tell her to shh... but I wasn't that rude! It's so hard to accept other people's positivity. I'm waiting to tell family this time as last time we told them the day we found out and my stupid MIL started buying stuff even though we told everyone to wait until we got to 20 weeks! Also glad it's the summer period so not many people are around at work so I should manage to keep it secret for longer this time. I feel bad though as this pregnancy could go well and therefore I should be just as excited as I was the first time but I don't think that's possible.

@rdm10 We've booked an 8 week scan for next month. My husband wonders if there's any point going that early after what happened last time but I still think there is because I'm so glad we got a scan photo to treasure of the baby we lost.

@Murderino I have a similar dilemma. On Sunday we are meeting with friends to watch the England game and then go out for dinner. I always drink with them so they would have been suspicious if I didn't. I've just bent the truth a little and said we are going to start trying again soon and because of the last pregnancy ending with a MMC I want to give my body every chance and be as healthy as possible so no drinking anymore. I've said I can still have fun without alcohol so I won't be a party pooper!

Then I've got a family bbq next weekend and my SIL always makes us Pimms and I'm known as the drinker. We don't want to tell them as my SIL will also have her family there. My sister is due next week so we don't think she will be at the bbq so I'm going to say I think I should stay sober in case she needs us to babysit her 3yo!

All went well with my scan. She also said the neck fluid looked fine although I'll get the proper screening at my nhs one in just over a week.

Now need to work on being more excited. Telling dh's family tonight which will help.

I haven't had much nausea let alone sickness. Although this was easier, it made me worry quite a lot. Just worth mentioning for those in the 12 week worry zone.

@xLeanne128 how are you doing haven't heard from you! Hope your ok xx

@rdm10 I haven't had huge symptoms either to be honest. Boobs are a bit tender, but nothing major, had bouts of dizziness and nausea, and back ache in first week, but pretty much feel normal at the moment... and massively worries about it!

6 weeks tomorrow - massive milestone for me as MC happened around this time. Keeping fingers firmly crossed me and little squidge can do this. On ultra high alert at the moment!

@Daffodil Congrats!!

That's so reassuring too, thank you! I know people say symptoms aren't everything, but I can't help feeling I'd be less concerned if I had more!