Did you find out the sex?

[LeonieChi]

Everyone I know who's having a baby at the moment is finding out the sex at the anomaly scan. I don't want to find out for a number of reasons (if people buy gifts we want gender neutral (though not expecting gifts at all of course!), would love DP to tell me the sex at the birth if possible, feel like it'll help me get through labour etc).

I understand why people do find out also and have definitely toyed with the idea. It's going to be hard to say 'no we don't want to know!'

Did you find out the sex of baby/babies? And why did/didn't you?

Nope. Mines a surprise. 8 weeks to go. Need some motivation to get the baby out! Also the sex won’t influence what I buy or plan for. Some people can’t wait but I’m annoyingly patient!

We have one boys nAme, one girls...

Me and my boyfriend found out the sex of the baby just so we can go baby shopping. I thought i was having a boy but turns out it's a girl which i was so suprised. I love knowing as i can say 'he'r instead of 'it' but that's personal preference. Plus for me personally i was getting a little bit sick of just looking at white baby cloths wanted more gender colour cloths.
We are not saying what her name will be until she's born. Got a few idea's

Yes found out

Don't like surprises, knew exactly what day she was arriving too

Perfect

We found out with our first child, and there were nice things about doing it that way, such us being able to pick a name and refer to the baby as ‘she’ instead of ‘it’.

However, it was so much better going for a surprise second time around! The anticipation had really built by the time baby arrived, and the heightened emotion in the delivery room made it a really joyful moment being told by my husband “it’s a boy!”

Having our third soon and this one is a surprise too.

I think if you have a preference for a particular sex you should find out at the 20 week scan to give you time to process the news. If you don’t mind either way then a surprise is much more fun!

We don't get a 20 week scan. 12 and then 32.

@pebbles out of curiosity are you based in a different country or is it that your area does it differently to most?

I'm in Ireland but most places here do the 20 week. Our area cut it out due to a resources issue. It's a bit crap tbh. 20 weeks feels like a heck of a wait between scans.

I’m with MarthasGinYard, found out she was a girl and scheduled a c-section. Most of her newborn clothes were gender neutral and it wasn’t anything to do with painting the nursery bright pink or shopping, I just really hate surprises. And whether you decide to find out or not it’s still totally magical, that won’t change!

No, didn't find out. Enjoyed the surprise & it got me through labour I couldn't wait to find out but glad I didn't find out the sex :)

38 + 1 waiting to delivery to find out if our first baby is a boy or girl. I didnt want to find out as i think the anticipation of finding out what baby is will help keep me motivated during labour my husband did want to find out and i told him he could as long as he didnt tell me but he thought he would slip up so didnt find out either. Love the fact everyone is having a guess at what the baby will be and makes it in my opinion a little bit more exciting.

We found out at the scan. I couldn’t really say why, we’d just discussed it beforehand and it felt right. It hasn’t really changed anything as we’re both pretty keen on not buying gendered stuff and haven’t done a big announcement, just told people if they’ve asked. I’d say it was to help us pick a name but it’s been no help at all - we’re just as stuck!

We did not find out. My first I was convinced was a boy (no preference, just a feeling). I had a long complicated labour and was totally wiped out and dazed afterwards. She was a girl, but I told at least two midwives when asked that she was a boy because I was all confused and had been so convinced. Then I was really embarrassed and terrified that if they noticed otherwise they would think me a total loon!

DH wanted to find out the second time as he thought is would make changing a name easier as we had struggled with boys names first time (thank goodness she was a girl), but I didn't want to. So we didn't.

We haven’t found out and have loved listening to all of the random theories as to if it is a boy or girl. As it is our first we have also gathered everything in neutral ready for number 2 (I know this can happen if you do find out but people do get carried away!) so for example our play mat is finding nemo, nursery is grey and accesorised with dumbo... whereas DH’s sister had a girl and everything is pink... at least we know whatever 2nd baby is it will be fine and not have to style out 2nd hand pink things!

We didn't find out and I'm so glad we didn't. I had an easy pregnancy but the last month or so I was just so ready for it to be over and the excitement of not knowing helped. FWIW I also had several growth scans, and harmony test and didn't find out. DH was meant to tell me at birth but surgeon doing c section blurted out "he's got a winkie" luckily we found it hilarious! If we have another it will be another c section so I def won't find out, otherwise it's just I'm having a boy, on Tuesday. Also we didn't want to tell people the name in advance and it's much easier to be vague if you don't know the sex.

I didn't either time. Both times I wanted my DH to be able to tell me what we had, both times it was foiled by a doctor at birth. This time I'm finding out!

I've found out with all 3 of mine and don't regret it at all. It's still a surprise when your told at the scan, it's just an earlier surprise! and for us especially this time round we wanted to all be there as a family to find out what we were having at the same time, so took the kids with us to a private scan and it was lovely! We have one of each so already and a 3 bed house, so baby will have to end up sharing with one of them, so I also wanted to be able to move/decorate the rooms in advance so it's all done beforehand.

I've always really enjoyed knowing what we are having, I'm too impatient to wait and don't particularly enjoy waiting for a surprise. But can totally see why people wait till the birth! Each to their own

I found out the sex with one. And thoroughly regretted it, especially as I had a caesarean planned. There is something not right about knowing the sex and date in advance, IMO.

Didn't find out first time round and liked not knowing. However after a traumatic emergency c-section no-one was fussed about the sex. The drs didn't tell us for quite a while as they were trying to get him to breathe.
It wasn't a romantic moment where my partner got to tell me me.

Second time round we did find out but only so that I could potentially give away the more boyish clothes if we were having a girl as we have very limited space. It surprised me how much I enjoyed knowing and bonded differently.

There are pros and cons of both.

We found out but didn't tell anyone else.

We wanted to know and I thought it would make agreeing on a shortlist of names easier the longer we had (we didn't want to settle on a name until baby had arrived) turned out not to help at all as hubby didn't want to discuss names at all before he was here.

I didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't really want other people's input on names (and now my BIL is expecting and told everyone I definitely made the right call).
I also didn't want to have loads of gendered clothes and accessories. Some of my favourite first few sleepsuits (he just looked soooo cute in them) we definitely would not have been given if people had known he was a boy. They weren't even particularly girly, just not boyish.

It’s always a surprise whether you find out at the scan or at the birth.

I found out both times because it helped me visualize the baby and use him/her not it. Also name selection was complicated because of multiple ethnic backgrounds so it was helpful to know the sex because it was hard enough just choosing a name for the one.

We found out, partly because I used to read scans so I'd likely be able to tell anyway, but mainly to help us choose a name. We didn't tell anyone else, though, to help reduce any stereotyping for as long as possible.

We did for DD (now 4). We wanted to finalise a name choice (had a definite one for a girl, struggled for a boy) and I think it helped us bond.

Found out for DC2 for the same reasons, and because of DD. I don't think we could've taken 20 odd weeks of "is it a brother or sister?!" so we found out at 20 weeks, told her she was going to be a big sister and that she was going to have a brother. Currently 31 weeks and she's SO excited about "my baby brother"

If we had another we'd find out again.

I didn't with our first two, for various reasons probably will with our third but, if we do, I don't plan on telling anyone else. It was lovely not knowing, but I'm guessing it would be just as lovely, just different, to know.

We found out because:
a) we're impatient
b) we had trouble bonding with/believing in the pregnancy, and hoped it would make it feel more 'real' (it did, a bit)
c) with the people I knew who didn't find out, everyone else became a bit obsessed with it, trying to guess through all sorts of bonkers old wives' tale, and it just seemed to actually, weirdly, make the baby's sex a much bigger deal. People ask me, I say 'it's a boy' they say 'oh that's nice' (exactly as they would have done if I'd said 'it's a girl') and we all move on with the conversation! It was already irritating me when people tried to guess before my 20 week scan, so I'm glad I got that cut off quickly!

I absolutely think each to their own on this, but I think 'it's better motivation in labour' is a bizarre argument. I haven't yet given birth so maybe I'm wrong, but is there really a widespread phenomenon of women getting halfway through labour and going 'you know what, fuck it, I can't be bothered with this, after all I already know what I'm having so no rush to meet the baby'?! From my understanding giving up during labour isn't actually an option, and most women are pretty damn motivated to get the baby out and have labour over with whether they're having a boy, a girl or a baby of yet to be determined sex!

Not for our first, she was a surprise and DH told me what we'd had.

For our second, I have found out but my DH doesn't want to know! So the only person who knows is me, he left the room at the end of the scan for the sonographer to tell me and we've fibbed to anyone who has asked and just said we didn't find out. I won't tell a soul or buy any pink/blue (not that we only do pink or blue anyway) stuff because I don't want to spoil it for him. All of our newborn clothes are neutral from last time anyway. Neither of us minded what we have either way.

I wanted to find out this time because I had a really traumatic birth experience last time and I'd been convinced (with no real reason) the whole time I was pregnant that I was carrying a boy. When DD was born it felt like something else to get my head around although I was delighted of course. I don't want any surprises this time - I want to know the sex, I'm having an ELCS on a set date, so basically I want to be calm and in control of as much as possible this time round whereas last time was chaotic and awful.