Help! Need to know exactly what I need and what’s a waste of money!

[Poppylizzyrose]

Hello! I’ve changed my user name it was user then a load of numbers...anyway point is I’ve posted before. Anyhoo...I really need some experienced lovely mummies to help me out. My situation is v complicated see ‘not the Disney version the Jeremy Kyle one’ thread for background info! I need to know exactly what I need, I can google lists of baby essentials but they’re trying to sell you stuff..I want the word on the street, what’s worth buying and what isn’t. Is a Moses basket the second coming in first baby beds or is it flushing money down the crapper? Do I need one of those electric musical rocking things?! Or should I just hold the sprout and dance?!...hope you get my point please help. I’m stuck between a baby and a hard place! Thanks mums. So list of basic items, I need or that will just save my tired sleep deprived ass. Ex party girl needs help ASAP. 😫

One persons waste of money is another persons lifesaver! A baby needs:
Something to eat
Somewhere to sleep
Something to wear
Something to travel in
Somewhere to go when they're awake

Only you know your life - are you urban or rural? Do you use car/public transport/walk a lot? Are you more a go with the flow type or do you need a routine? Once you've worked that out you can shop.

Things other people don't always rate but I do:
Baby bath - look on gumtree for a stokke one, they're £££ new but cheap second hand. I still sometimes pop my 3yo in it to save water.
Baby swing - again go second hand, my two loved the fisher price one. I bought one for £20 and sold it on for £30

Baby monitor once they're past 6 months. I want to watch tv in the evening with the living room door closed so I don't disturb them but I don't want baby screaming to the point of puking before I hear him.

I love my big travel system (uppababy vista, bought in 2014 for DC1, still going strong) but it isn't for everyone.

I also love love love my ergobaby sling.

Never needed a bottle as both DC breastfed, but DS liked a dummy until he hit 9 months.

You really really don't need bath or skin products. They should only be washed with water ideally until they start weaning and rub spag bol and prune puree in their hair.

A pp mentioned that you don’t need scratchmitts - the main reason I found for not needing separate scratchmitts is that many shops sell sleepsuits with built in scratchmitts.

Added advantage of built in scratchmitts is that baby can’t get them off within 5 seconds.

Can someone explain why a baby monitor is pointless? Once they're going to bed in their own room it's pretty important to know if they're crying.

Another no for a baby bath, and agree with muddyforestwalks about not needing products.

DD has only been in the bath twice so far. She comes in the shower with either myself or DH regularly, which she loves

Has only ever had water on her in the shower, then I have a big jar of 100% coconut oil (from the cooking section of Tesco) which I use for a bedtime baby massage. The only other thing that goes on her skin is sudocrem, under her night nappies (as that is the only time we use disposables and creams can clog up the fibres of cloth nappies), so far her skin is in perfect condition.

We also only use cloth wipes on her (cheeky wipes) with plan water (no essential oils), I would recommend considering cloth wipes even if you don't use cloth nappies, as they are so much better for cleaning poop of baby, they actually "grip" the running yellow breastfed poop rather than disposable wipes which seem to just slime it around...also much better for the environment.

You don't need specific baby towels, although I have been given 3 and they are quite useful whilst DD is tiny, but certainly not worth spending money on.

Depends on how far away their own room is I guess.

DS3’s room is right next to mine, so I have no problems hearing him if he wakes in the night without a baby monitor, so we don’t really need a baby monitor.

It’d be more important if his room was further away.

^^ That was to oysterbabe about baby monitors

oysterbabe

I think a baby monitor is not an essential purchase for many people, it will very much depend on the size/ layout of the house. Our bedroom (where DD sleeps) is directly off the living room and has a window onto the back garden that I can leave open if I am outside. Therefore not necessary for us at all.

I love my cheeky wipes (washable baby wipes). I know they aren't for everyone but they clean so much better than disposables, and in four years I've only needed to buy one packet of wipes on top of the initial outlay for the washables.

Muddyforestwalks I forgot to pack my cheeky wipes in my nappy bag a few weeks ago, and had to use my emergency (free trial) pack of pampers disposables, that lives in the bottom of changing bag, to clean up a poop (and it wasn't even a particularly big poop in the scheme of things), what a mess, went through so many wipes, got poop on my fingers and still was satisfied DD was as clean as she would have been with cloth wipes.

Other than matresses and car seats buy most things second hand. Join local Facebook parents selling groups.

Aldi baby event is also a good place to start. Sainsbury tu have 25% sale on clothes at the start of school holidays.

eryri DH used to moan about cleaning poo until we both forgot the changing bag one day, and he had to clean up a poo with whatever disposable wipes the corner shop had. His face as he said, horrified, "they're just smearing it around more!"

We bought:

Travel system (without car seat as friends loaned the bucket style one) - mamas and papas but Dm has just bought a pram for £70 at Mothercare suitable from birth
Car seat - ds outgrew the bucket style first seat by 6 months so we bought a new one (joie 360 spin) which will do him until he’s bigger.
Changing bag - although I know loads of people who just use a backpack
Bottles - we bought tommee tippee closer to nature
Steriliser - see above (amazon did great bundle deals)
Nappy bin - some people say these aren’t essential but we live in a first floor apartment and it’s easier to pop nappy in nappy bin than to run down to the outside bin every change
Moses basket - second hand and have since sold it on - used until ds was 3 months and had outgrown it
Cotbed
Sleepingbags - amazing things. We used these from around 3 months. Ds started flicking the blankets up over his face with his feet...
bouncy/vibrating chair - second hand but has at times been an absolute godsend (and always seems to make ds poo...)
Clothes - buy a few newborn bits and the basics - vests socks etc. We found that people were generous with gifts. But bought the next size up. So when ds was born we had little newborn/0-3 stuff. But loads of 3-6.

And just buy as you go. We didn’t buy a breast pump initially but I sent dh to get one after two weeks. And after 6/8 weeks we moved to formula.

We bought a colapsable baby bath but ds ha now outgrown it so he’s in the big bath.

I am going on what my DD has been using as she has young DC and what I found useful 30 years ago has been superseded.

Next to me crib (DC1 didn't like Moses basket) and sheets
Car seat and base (travel system with pushchair/prom/car seat)
Swaddles and then baby sleeping bag so covers don't get thrown off
Sleepsuits and vests
Hats for newborn
Sling (you can hire first to see which one you get on with)
Rocking chair for baby or bouncy chair
Perfect prep machine if you formula feeding and bottles, steriliser
Nappies, changing mat, wipes, sudocreme and nappy sacks
Bath seat and baby shampoo/wash etc. Baby oil for baby massage
Loads of muslins for wiping up spit ups and putting over shoulder for winding.
Soothers.
Bag for carrying the loads of stuff you need around with you.

I meant a baby monitor is pointless before they're in their own room - up to six months they should be in with you including OMG he same room as you for naps (I do acknowledge that this doesn't work for everyone though)

And yes to the pp who essentially said it's a matter of taste. You will probably intuitively know if you're likely to want a sling or not, etc. Anything you're not sure about, get second hand or only get one initially (e.g. dummies - some people swear by them, I've never used one)

*in the same room. Dunno where the OMg came from!

Well update! My mummy friend is working till 2 and store called baby planet I wanted to visit shuts at 3, so we’re going have huge carvery! (I only get to keep my lunch) then trot to mother care. I’m not buying anything yet as I am early into pregnancy but I’m so glad of ideas. (London sadly I live in Leicester but isn’t far from London! Could have a baby play date lol, or leave the babies and get cocktails haha) x

Have a nice time this afternoon.

One thing I would suggest is having a look and then shopping around to get the best deals. For example, Asda have a 'baby event' (as do many big supermarkets) on at certain times of the year and I managed to get a lot of the bits I wanted in this sale type promotion. Bearing in mind their prices are already pretty cheap, this meant I got a lot of items for not a lot of money. I got 20% off baby clothes and other items such as the moses basket, bedding and so on were heavily reduced.

Interestingly, I was in Mothercare yesterday and the same bath chair/support I got in Asda was 10.00 (usually 15.50) whereas in Asda I got it for 5.00 (normally 6.60). The same pattern followed for the breastfeeding pillow I got.

One place I do think can be quite good and is worth a browse is TK Maxx as they not only have a baby section, but within that they have clearance items so you can get a few more quid knocked off on top of already reduced prices.

I am 31+5 at the moment and I have to say there are some items I will be waiting until later to purchase. I have decided to wait to get a video baby monitor as they are quite expensive and to start with I would not be using one anyway so I can spread the cost by waiting. The same goes for a cot. I have gone with the moses basket and stand and will get a cot after the birth - probably either because she won't settle in the moses basket or when she is starting to outgrow it. Again it spreads the expense and also stops all this stuff taking up so much room immediately. To be honest, I waited until around 28-30 weeks to start buying things and already they are taking up room just waiting/sitting there for weeks. The amount of boxes you get with all this stuff is pretty annoying, haha.

Not essential but made life easier for me was the Tomee Tippee Perfect Prep. They weren't around when I had my first 3 babies but I bought one second hand when pregnant with my 4th (I checked the piping at the back as I'd heard they can become mucky, it was all good 🙂)

I ended up breast feeding for the first few weeks but when I switched to formula the Prep machine was fantastic, really made it easier and less faff.

Another thing that was helpful that I only used with my last baby was a schnuggle bath. I was given it by a friend (I wasn't going to bother with a bath, hadn't needed one before) and it turned out to be quite useful. It supported the baby so I had a hand free for pouring shampoo or washing.

I agree with others to get secondhand where you can, babies often get so little use out of things that items are next to new. I found Facebook marketplace to be full of local bargains.

Yeah I’m going to shop second hand for loads. I’m thinking ahead want to be able to afford school trips holidays, new clothes ect. However prams!!! Now I live In rural location, but may move into own place eventually. Staying at home and saving for quite awhile though as I have Big country house really to myself. Parents work awayand are happy for me and baby to be here. Sooo ideas please, travel systems? What’s best brand easiest to put down and get into my little fiat 500 lol. (Tied into a lease agreement for at least babies first year.

Ah the perfect prep. Yes. I mix fed for six weeks (pumped due to tongue tie) then switched to formula, the Perfect Prep is a game changer for long term formula use. There will always be someone who comes into threads like this who says they're not safe and there's a risk of mould blah blah but I've never seen any evidence of that and I think if you use every day and change the filters properly then it's fine.
(Secretly I think health visitors and feeding advisers don't recommend them because it makes life too easy for us lazy formula feeders, and we should suffer more for our failures - but I have massive issues with bf grief/guilt so I project this too much!)

Btw we should set up sales on here! If anyone has bargins or things they want rid off, i’d Love anything. Every little helps and be great to all help each other. Just unsure on the rules about addresses and such obvs have to be pm messages. Or could even post to each other’s local postoffices for collection. So we’re all safe.

If you live in a city, then I'd look in shops and NCT sales to see what exists, but don't worry about buying anything until 6-7 months, partly because neighbours and friends' family start offering things.
The only things you definitely need are some nappies and clothes, and some way to transport the baby, a place to sleep. Anything else can be bought when you need it from a shop or Amazon or Ebay. Do look up where your nearest 24 hour supermarket and late-opening chemist is, and how to get to out of hours doctor or A&E.
Child-focused charity shops are great for things that you only need for a few weeks, and quality clothes.

If you have an iPhone and an iPad there is an app that turn both into a video baby monitor

About travel systems - there is a specific section of the forum where you can ask for recommendations based upon your requirements:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pushchair_chat

The wheels on the better strollers/prams for rural location living are kind of at odds with smaller car boots, although you can remove them, so hopefully someone on there will be able to suggest some for you to look at.

Living rurally, I would suggest looking into slings for the most part, then have a really small buggy that lies flat to go in your car (babyzen yoyo 0+ is teeny and suitable from birth), because the prams with great wheels and suspension tend to be bulky.