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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Help! Need to know exactly what I need and what’s a waste of money!

88 replies

Poppylizzyrose · 21/04/2018 22:26

Hello! I’ve changed my user name it was user then a load of numbers...anyway point is I’ve posted before. Anyhoo...I really need some experienced lovely mummies to help me out. My situation is v complicated see ‘not the Disney version the Jeremy Kyle one’ thread for background info! I need to know exactly what I need, I can google lists of baby essentials but they’re trying to sell you stuff..I want the word on the street, what’s worth buying and what isn’t. Is a Moses basket the second coming in first baby beds or is it flushing money down the crapper? Do I need one of those electric musical rocking things?! Or should I just hold the sprout and dance?!...hope you get my point please help. I’m stuck between a baby and a hard place! Thanks mums. So list of basic items, I need or that will just save my tired sleep deprived ass. Ex party girl needs help ASAP. 😫

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
forevermoree · 21/04/2018 22:59

I'm helped you after reading your op but you've said some weird shit in your replies

Poppylizzyrose · 21/04/2018 23:00

Thanks London! I didn’t know what they were called. As I said I’m no expert, just wondering though, would they damage the babies spine? I know they sort of force the. Baby into a sitting position, what age did you use from? X

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londonloves · 21/04/2018 23:01

I thought the vibrater thing was funny. They are a bit weird.

Poppylizzyrose · 21/04/2018 23:03

Just saw, you used it from 5 months fair enough thanks! (Haha vibrating comment was risqué but I’ve given up smokes and booze to hell with giving up on humour!)

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londonloves · 21/04/2018 23:03

I think they're probably not a great idea when baby is tiny (bumbo seat things) but you wouldn't really need one anyway, as they don't really need to be positioned sitting up. I started using it at about five months when we started weaning. He was practically sitting up by himself anyway. I use it now with the activity centre thingy attached when I need him to be amused for ten mins while I hang washing out or whatever.
(Shock horror I warned before six months. No one died).

Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 21/04/2018 23:07

We had a bumboo for dd, she wasn't really into it. A high chair will be fine.
I know ppl are saying you won't need a monitor but I think it's a definite!
We have the angelcare which is great.
Good luck op and congrats!

Poppylizzyrose · 21/04/2018 23:07

Forever just don’t call people stupid, it’s a pet hate of mine. I’m sure you’d hate it if anyone called your child stupid, think of them as an adult, you’d still hate it. Now imagine how my mum would feel if she read your comment. Being behind a screen shouldn’t make you mean. Fact. (Plus I’m actually really intelligent haha)

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tararabumdeay · 21/04/2018 23:09

Be in Scotland:

news.gov.scot/news/baby-boxes-begin

Poppylizzyrose · 21/04/2018 23:11

Thanks again London! I’m on the fence it’s probably not essential lol. Oooh as for monitors yes, I’m thinking when baby packs up, suitcase in hand, and moves to their room I will need one, im thinking not just to hear crying but to listen to the sound of their breathing.

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londonloves · 21/04/2018 23:11

Yeah actually re the monitor a lot of my friends have said they feel it to be essential so I guess it depends on your instinctive feeing about whether you want one or not.

londonloves · 21/04/2018 23:12

Yes def when they're in their own room - line still in with us at the mo and won't nap alone. I have got one for the golden day when he does nap in his cot... when he's 14 maybe. But Then he can just text me when he wakes up.

Eryri1981 · 21/04/2018 23:13

My best buys are Tuppence and Crumble Star wraps...they are great for popping on over just a nappy around the house when baby is newborn and you are doing lots of skin to skin and frequent nappy changes. They are easier to get on and off baby than a cardigan or pramsuit (no wrestling little arms and legs in to sleeves), don't hold the arms out straight, and can be opened up without disturbing baby if you go inside and it is warmer. They can be worn in slings and car seats. We have 2 in the small size (so we can wear one/ wash one) and DD has just started wearing the medium size of which I have bought another 2 (all ebay bargains).

Buy a Thermos mug (metal lined so hot drinks don't taste of plastic) with a sippy lid. It beats microwaved tea any day!!

Other than that...

You need somewhere for baby to sleep, we have an Arms Reach Original Co sleeper, which can be a freestanding bassinet, a co sleeper bassinet, a cot, a travel cot and a play pen, and will take DD for birth to her first bed (which will be a single mattress on the floor rather than a toddler bed).

Something for them to sleep in, I recommend having a swaddle wrap of some sort (we used summer infant swaddleme) on hand in case you need it, DD wore one from the third night until she was about a month old, and is still swaddled now at 11 weeks for some daytime naps (if she has got overstimulated and is fighting going to sleep).

Something to transport them out and about. Car seat (if you have a car, obviously) plus a sling or a pushchair. I have a Moby wrap (loads of people really rate the wrap slings...my DD is not one of them!!!) and an Ergo Carrier (which is much more comfier and supportive, but a bit of a faff with the newborn insert until DD is a bit bigger). I also have a battered travel system, it is handy occasionally but not essential. I use the carseat in it on the rare occasions I go into town, and the carrycot in the garden for daytime napping (and occasionally in the living room).

Nappies, changing bag can be any medium sized bag, I use a 15 litre back pack which is just big enough (we are using cloth so everything is a bit bulkier), a waterproof changing mat, a travel one will do, as babies do tend to pee and poop mid change.

Stuff for feeding, DD is EBF, so from that point of view...Muslins lots of muslins!!! Lasinoh and Breast pads (washable ones for ongoing use, but some disposables at the start as you need loads for a short time). If you are buying breastfeeding tops, get ones with no fastenings, just layers/flaps of fabric...trying to sort out baby and put my boob away without flashing is challenging enough without having to fasten anything more than the bra up.

Baby clothes...unless you have good reason to think you will have a small baby go with up to 1 month clothes. 7 sleepsuits, 7 vests, 2 Tuppence and crumble star wraps, and that is all you need to start. Same in 0-3 months, plus any outfits you fancy, but personally I stick DD in jogging bottoms and short or long sleeve t shirts or rompers, the dresses I have for her barely get used. For sleepsuits ones with built in scratch mitts are good, as are zip ones...I am yet to find the holy grail of sleepsuits...zip with built in scratch mitts!! My top tip, so that you don't go through loads of clothes with poo explosions is to put a reusable nappy wrap over the disposable nappy (I still use disposables at night at the moment, and will use them for camping trips/ holidays), I have only had one small poo leak in 11 weeks!

We have a very bouncy dog...so whilst the following aren't essential they have been really useful...Summer infant pop n play play pen and bouncy chair (placed up high).

Everything except the cot mattress and a replacement mattress for the carrycot was second hand, mostly ebay or passed on from friends/ family. It is very easy to spend a lot of money on baby stuff, but equally easy to spend very little.

Hope that helps.

londonloves · 21/04/2018 23:14

Oooh I got a musical mobile thing to play when he was going batshit during nappy changes which made a massive difference. No way an essential but you might be able to find a cheap one second hand.

Poppylizzyrose · 21/04/2018 23:14

Haha mine will go to uni and they’ll have invented long range Monitor haha. That is a joke..I wouldn’t be listening then ewww lol

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Hawkmoth · 21/04/2018 23:15

A V cushion.

Sleep with it between your legs and under your bump when pregnant. Then under the baby when feeding (breast or bottle). If you end up with a baby who doesn't like their cot it is a lifesaver for naps.

Poppylizzyrose · 21/04/2018 23:20

Eryri1981, thank you for that great list! Really appreciate you taking the time for me. All of you have been fantastic (bar one or two, hang your heads in shame) I’m going to read this all over again tomorrow while I’m out looking. Time for this mummy to hit the hay. (I have weird dreams now!) goodnight all (London you sweetie thank you) xxx

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WhatsGoingOnEh · 21/04/2018 23:20

Food:
Milk
Bottles
Some way of sterilising them (like a huge waterproof Tupperware box with lid, and sterilising tablets)

Sleep:
Dummies (the cherry type)
Sheets
Somewhere to sleep. Mine loved their Moses basket, and you can carry them round at home in it, go into garden, etc. Cot for later on. (Some cots have a dropped side so you can have them right beside your bed. Babies are advised to sleep in your room till they're 6 months old.)
I'd get a monitor. It's more relaxing to know at you'd definitely hear them crying.
New mattress for basket or cot. (You can go secondhand on some stuff, but never mattresses, for risk of cot death)

Clothes:
Vests
Leggings
Layered tops - cardigans, sweatshirts, etc. (You tend to get clothes as presents.)
Scratch mittens - tiny mitts the baby wears to stop them scratching their face.
Socks - Baby Gap socks were the only ones that didn't fall off my babies' feet.
Jacket
Sunhat
Bibs

Seating, etc:
Bumbo chair - mine loved these, and they're really handy and portable
Car seat - if it slots into a park, even better
Nice to have: a swing chair (my DS1 had reflux and had to stay upright after feeds, so this was perfect)
Little bouncy chair/vibrating thing (can stop them crying; great to put in bathroom with you if you need a shower)
High chair (later on)
Something for the bath, like a baby bath that sits in your bath so you don't have to use loads of water. You can just bathe them in the bathroom sink though. :)

Random:
Muslin cloths, to wipe up baby spatter
Nappies x lots
Newborn, gentle baby wipes, or just cotton wool and water
Sudocrem or other nappy-rash cream
Baby bath bubbles

The most useful thing I bought was a fluffy rabbit toy with Velcro straps on each paw so you could load it up with dummies, so the baby never lost them at night

Books:
I loved the Gina Ford Contented Little Baby Book of sleep - it's a strict routine that I followed with both my babies and both slept through from 8 weeks old; might have been a coincidence but my friends followed it too and swore by it
What to Expect when You're Expecting (don't flip ahead to scary birth stories)
The Baby Whisperer book had an insanely accurate chapter on interpreting babies' different cries

Later:
Stairgates
Bed, and bed guards
Shoes
School uniform
Car
Deposit for a house
University fund

Good luck!

tararabumdeay · 21/04/2018 23:22

Sorry, my previous note was a little flippant.

We had a Moses basket from the local market and a little mattress to fit it. I sewed the sheets and blankets which was easy because they're all so small.

Bath in a washing up bowl for a few months at least. One doesn't realise how tiny they are.

I gave the Moses basket to a friend. My four month old had outgrown it (one doesn't realise how quickly they grow). One day I picked up the Moses basket with her preemie in it and nearly swung it round my head it was so light.

Imagine putting your two hands around a little person, and when they start to unfold, only their arms and legs hanging out. That's what you get.

londonloves · 21/04/2018 23:22

Sleep tight! Pm me if you're in London, I think we would get on 😂

WhatsGoingOnEh · 21/04/2018 23:23

Pram, not park (?!)
Changing mat too

It's a lot. And my youngest is older now so I might have forgotten loads of stuff....

Are you self-employed? You can get Statutory Maternity Pay from the Government, if you won't get maternity pay from work.

Poppylizzyrose · 21/04/2018 23:26

Okay nipped back and saw your list what’s going on. Thanks! I do need the books as I’m terrified of what I’m expecting if he or she is anything like me! Goodnight all and sweet dreams, i’ll Pop back in the morning. X

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4GreenApples · 22/04/2018 00:09

We got a bumbo for DC1 and it was just a waste of money for us.

Baby absolutely hated it.

DappledThings · 22/04/2018 06:29

Lots of people saying you don't need a baby bath which is fair but I love my Angelcare bath seat. Holding a slippery tiny baby who can't sit up in a bath I find really difficult but the seat means they can recline unaided (obviously you don't go anywhere!) and splash about. It's been invaluable for us

Winifredgoose10 · 22/04/2018 06:58

Things you don't need: baby bath, changing table(just a changing mat it absolutely fine as table just seems for storage/nursery furniture bulking), monitor(if you live in a small flat/house where you can hear everywhere), moses basket(neither of ours would sleep in it, always slept in buggy in day and cot at night), baby shoes, scratch mitts(i have just sent a pack of two to the charity shop still in their packet), a 'special' changing bag(you can just put everything in a normal under the buggy), a special baby towel with a hood, outfits that are not 'pyjamas'(babygrows).

Things you need: a cot, a buggy, lots of simple babygrows, a sun hat (if born in summer),a few Muslins(can get more if your baby has reflux/is sick alot), blankets/sleeping bags, breast pads if you are feeding them/bottles etc if you are not, nappy, cotton wool, then later wipes.

Things that are great if can afford them:
Places to safely put baby during the day that will hopefully keep them entertained a bit while you do things eg bouncy chairs, swings, playmats etc, a sling to carry baby around.

Good luck X

Kpo58 · 22/04/2018 07:10

I dislike baby gro bags. They can't escape it if they get too hot. They also get expensive as you need different thicknesses depending on the weather, different sizes as they grow and more than one of each size/thickness encase of a late night nappy leak.