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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Who came to visit you and baby in hospital

71 replies

Flyingchimps · 15/04/2018 18:34

Hi all,

Just wondering- who did you have come to the hospital after you had given birth? And when did you start accepting visitors at home?

In my head.... DH would be there for the birth, then or parents (and I guess DH’s step mum and Dad too) could come if they wanted (as much as I really do not get on with MIL it is her first grandchild so surely she will have to be pleasant to me!)

But now there has been suggestions of siblings, and one of our friends who is going away 2 days after baby is due also wants to come.

It’s our first baby so I’m not sure of the norms and how I will feel so don’t want to be precious but also do not want to overload myself.

In terms of when you got home- when did you start accepting extended family over to visit?

Thanks :)

OP posts:

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Pinkvoid · 15/04/2018 18:35

My mum and dad with DC1 but nobody did with my second and third as they were looking after my other DC for me.

pigeondujour · 15/04/2018 18:36

I haven't got babies yet but I visited my sibling in hospital (as did the other parent's siblings) and so did a few of their friends and aunties and uncles etc as well as obviously both sets of parents.

Girlwiththearabstrap · 15/04/2018 18:37

I think it's perfectly acceptable to tell people that you don't want to plan in advance and just want to see how you feel. I was in hospital for ages so we had both sets of parents the day baby was born, then a few friends etc. When we got home I also had people over pretty regularly. But I've read on here stories about people not wanting visitors for months. So I guess you won't know how you feel till it happens.

EllenJanethickerknickers · 15/04/2018 18:38

Much easier to have visitors in hospital! Set times, no making cups of tea, then the nurses / midwives shoo them away. I had the new grandparents on both sides, my brother, sister, BIL, nieces, nephews. No friends but why not? So long as they don't bother you at home for the first week!

TheDisreputableDog · 15/04/2018 18:38

Just DH & me in hospital (remember you may be in less than 24 hours after you have the baby). We went home on day 2, parents and PIL day 3.

Remember, you'll be exhausted...

booandbumpp · 15/04/2018 18:39

I remember I visited my aunt in hospital after her first - I was young (around 10) but I think she was in longer as she had an emergency c - section. Apart from that I don't remember visiting anyone.

I haven't really thought about who I want to visit me yet - but I think hospitals tend to try and get you discharged same day if they can so there might not be much time for visiting!

NapQueen · 15/04/2018 18:40

Dc1- everyone and their neighbour. Friends who worked in the hospital, my folks, dhs folks, sisters and uncles on both sides. I was in the hospital 2 days tho so it filled the time in.

Dc2 - I had to beg my mum to visit as I was bored (another 2 day stay, dh home with dc1 for a lot of it). Dont think people are as bothered about dcs2 and beyond.

ImAGoofyGoober · 15/04/2018 18:40

Most of my close family so parents, siblings, in laws, grandparents.

I wasn’t in long enough with the second child but otherwise probably would have had the same.

DuchyDuke · 15/04/2018 18:40

Siblings usually do visit at the hospital unless there’s been a serious rift. Best friends too, but not casual ones.

DramaAlpaca · 15/04/2018 18:40

My lovely SIL came the first day as she was the only family we had nearby. My friend who was expecting twins popped in too. My parents came the next day. I found having hospital visitors exhausting even though I was pleased to see them.

With DC2 I was out too quickly for visitors.

MillieMoon94 · 15/04/2018 18:41

My boyfriend was with me for the birth of DC1 and then my parents and his and my 3 younger siblings came to visit in the evening. We went home the next day and just spent it together and the next day we started accepting visitors such as friends and extended family.
DC2 was born at home and was just me and my boyfriend as the midwife was delayed. My mum had come round earlier to take DC1 for the night. DC2 made her appearance quicker than we were expecting so my mum and dad came back with DC1 about an hour after DC2 was born. Next day my siblings and boyfriend’s parents came round and the day after was friends and extended family again. Go with whatever you feel comfortable with and good luck! Xx

JinxJinx · 15/04/2018 18:43

First baby - my parents came the day baby was born and MIL came the next day
Second baby - my parents and first child and that was all

But when my sister had a baby I went to see her in hospital. I probably wouldn't have minded her coming to see me in hospital, but she didn't ask to come so that was that 🤣

Starryskiesinthesky · 15/04/2018 18:45

I had my mum, sister, pal, 2 x bro in law and 2 x sis in law come to the hospital then people round all week! Had a good birth and loved showing off my precious baby!

TSSDNCOP · 15/04/2018 18:45

Absolutely everyone.

DM swept in dragging DF in her wake at 10am, 3 hours before visiting time.

You've not met DM, would've taken more than a buzz-in door to stand between her and newly minted DS.

Seacow87 · 15/04/2018 18:46

My friend (who was on shift on a different ward). My parents and the ILs.
That was more than enough for me....

PlaymobilPirate · 15/04/2018 18:48

Everyone! Ds was in NICU and I wanted everyone to meet him in case he didn't pull through. I said yes to everyone who asked (except a friend's 12 year old who begged - I love her like my own but wouldn't allow her to visit which caused problems)

Within 3 days both sets of GP, both my siblings and their partners, dps 2 siblings and partners, 3 friends of mine, 3 aunts of mine.

NICU allowed only 3 visitors at a time and 1 had to be dp or i. We juggled but, although ds is now fine, I wanted everyone to physically meet him.

A different friend (who didn't come) said we were out of order sharing time with ds with everyone. Tbh before he was born I thought I'd only want me and DP... I was very wrong

Don't set rules in stone yet op, go with how you feel after the birth.

Mamabear1475 · 15/04/2018 18:50

No one. I was home eight hours after giving birth. But MIL was there when I got home. Dh had to go to work as apparently they couldn't cope without him my parents and friends came the next day. Tbh just wanted to go to bed when I got home but I felt rude sleeping and leaving MIL with the baby

pastabest · 15/04/2018 18:51

If your birth is straightforward and during the day you might find that you are sent home within a few hours for follow up with a midwife at home and there isn't time for visitors in hospital.

In birthing centres in particular I didn't get the impression that family arriving to see the baby was really a thing.

Origamoo · 15/04/2018 18:56

The day baby was born (5am) we had visitors that evening as we were still in hospital - my parents, my two brothers, bro’s fiancé (I think), MIL and bro in law. They didnt stay long though. Then both grannies came to our home during the following few days but that was to help us rather than just a visit. Wouldn’t have wanted any other relatives or friends until a couple of weeks later at least as I was in no fit state to see people.

rosetintedspectacles · 15/04/2018 18:57

I didn’t want to see anyone in hospital, which really surprised me as I didn’t expect to feel like that! We had my Mum in on day two so that my husband could go home and rest and make our house all neat and tidy ready for homecoming, but other than that nobody. I felt too fragile and overwhelmed to see visitors! Even at home I only wanted to see people in short bursts, it was after my husband went back to work I was suddenly so glad of visitors! Everyone and every birth is so different though, I would say try not to plan and just see how you feel

Ragwort · 15/04/2018 18:57

My MIL & SIL visited in hospital - my own parents were a long distance away and traveling would have been difficult. A friend popped in as she was coming to the hospital for her own appointment.

I think it's impossible to know how you will feel until after you have given birth, I had to stay in for nearly a week for various reasons and when I got out I was actually desperate to see other people and (being brutally honest) to talk about something non-baby related .

Having said that I've never visited someone in hospital who has just had a baby, for me it would be totally inappropriate - my DH visited on his own when his sister had a baby (by invitation) and I don't have sisters. Equally I have always waited to be 'invited' to visit a new baby at home.

Don't make any promises to your family and friends, tell them you need to let them know how you will be feeling.

BevBrook · 15/04/2018 19:02

DS1 - mum was with me when I gave birth and so was DH, Dad came to visit. I was in two nights plus the night I was in labour. I dont think anyone else came.

DS2 - just DH with me during birth, mum and Dad brought DS1 that day, it is possible my sister came but I cant remember. Was in one night.

I visited my sister in hospital for her first two but not the third I think.

ijustwannadance · 15/04/2018 19:05

DD1 only grandparents and only because I was kept in for days.

DD2 only my mum so she could bring in DD1(and a maccies). Was out next morning when other GP's came round.

For both, no other visitors for a week.

MrsDilber · 15/04/2018 19:18

After the birth of all 3, whoever wanted to visit was welcome. There was a lady in an opposite bed after her birth who had noone, put things into perspective for me. We all survived and after a few weeks, all the attention and fuss vanishes.

Most important thing, do what makes you feel most comfortable.

tinykirst · 15/04/2018 19:21

We didn't have any visitors in the hospital at all. I had my baby at 9pm and we left the day after about 4pmish. My OH parents visited the day we arrived back home from the hospital which was an hours drive.. I was exhausted and would've been happy for them to have waited another day but it's there first grandchild and luckily they didn't stay long!
Other than them we didn't have any other visitors at all until a week or so later when my parents came up to stay (I live a 4 hour drive away)
I am so glad it was like that though as I don't think I could've dealt with having tons of visitors!
It's YOUR moment. Don't feel bad for telling people to stay away or for having a time limit. You need that time to 1. Bond with your baby and get used to each other. And 2. To take care of yourself and recover.
It isn't so bad if people are coming over to offer to cook and clean etc but most of the time they forget about you and just want to hold the baby. Which I can almost guarantee as soon as any one else is holding them you'll be dying for them to hand them back over!

Just make sure that if you have visitors that it's what you want. And don't feel rude for telling them to bugger off if you've had enough! xx

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